


If I had the courage to ask, would you kiss me?

by lalalalalahahahahaha



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Bottom Daryl, Daddy Issues, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Love, M/M, Making Love, Merle is a Good Brother, Past Rape/Non-con, Prison, Shy Daryl, Slow Build, i'm so mean to daryl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 33
Words: 47,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalalalalahahahahaha/pseuds/lalalalalahahahahaha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl never would have thought he would like living in a prison but doesn’t mind this prison though. The walls weren’t meant to keep him in so much as keep the walkers out.</p><p>Slow build to rick/daryl set in the prison. Merle is still alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Good Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight edit: I'm writing a bit ahead and it took a slightly darker turn so i had to make a few things more clear. It has a mind of its own I swear.

Daryl never would have thought he would like living in a prison. He had never been sent to prison before but Merle had and Daryl had to pick him up when he got out and visit him when he could. He’d always hated it. He never stayed longer than he had to and much preferred to wait in the parking lot while Merle was released. He had always been afraid of confinement, much more than Merle had. Merle didn’t let the penalty of prison stop him from breaking the law over and over. But all Daryl had tried to stay out of trouble, or at least as much as possible. It was hard to do following Merle around.

He doesn’t mind this prison though. The walls weren’t meant to keep him in so much as keep the walkers out. Rick didn’t try to contain him in any way. Instead he asked Daryl for his thoughts and they made decisions together. Daryl didn’t want, had never really wanted, the responsibility of leading their little group of survivors, but he and Rick were undoubtedly the leaders. People looked to them for command, safety and reassurance. Rick was good at command. Being an officer of the law in the old world, he was used to it. Daryl was more used to taking care of himself and was a shade uncomfortable with all the people suddenly looking to him for guidance. But that was beginning to ease.

After Merle managed to kill the Governor, they negotiated a peace with Woodberry. Many people came to the prison, not wanting to go back to the false safety of the town. The prison population swelled to around 30 people. Their home was suddenly bustling with people like the world hadn’t been for a long time. The whole thing made Daryl a tad claustrophobic. He escaped to the woods whenever he could to get away from them all. It was necessary now that they had more mouths to feed. Sometimes he took Carl with him. The kid wanted to learn to hunt and he was a good student, asking questions and listening to Daryl’s instruction with rapt attention. He kinda liked having someone look up to him like that. Like what he said and the praise he gave mattered as much to the kid as words and praise from Rick did. But most of the time Carl had other chores to do and Daryl just need some time alone to breathe.

Merle wasn’t helping either. Rick had let him stay because he was Daryl’s family and he had killed the Governor, eliminating a major threat. Hardly anyone could stand the man, including Daryl. Daryl never noticed how much he put up with his brother until he spent time with people that treated him decent. His constant racist cracks about Tyreese, Sasha, Glen, and Michonne, along with his misogynistic slurs against the women set Daryl’s teeth on edge.

He knew the only reason Merle was allowed to stay was that he was Daryl’s brother. He knew Rick would not ask him to choose between his blood and his new family, but he couldn’t help thinking that this time he would probably choose Rick and his kids and their group over Merle. He’d feel guilty and probably wouldn’t forgive himself for it, but these people needed him. And it felt really good to be wanted.

He and Merle had actually come to blows over that. Merle had cornered Daryl as they worked the fences and had said that they just wanted Daryl to stay because he fed them and the second he stopped being useful they would toss him aside like the white trash he was. Merle had only made it halfway through saying that Daryl was Rick’s bitch now before Daryl had slugged him as hard as he could across his ugly jaw. The brothers fought fiercely for a few seconds before they were pulled apart, Rick with his arms around Daryl’s waist and Tyresse and Glenn grabbing one of Merle’s arms each. They hauled him away and pushed him into a cell and locked it . Daryl jerked away from Rick and stalked to the roof to get some air. Merle’s prosthetic arm had clipped his forehead and blood dripped down his face. He pressed his handkerchief to the cut and fumed silently for a few minutes.

Merle was such an asshole. What the hell did he know?

A voice that sounded a bit like his pa’s whispered in his ear.

_But you wanna be the cop’s bitch don’t you? You fucking pussy faggot. You’d just love to bend over for him. You want it don't you? Fucking useless bitch!_

He shakes his head hard, trying to push that voice aside, trying to ignore the panic that threatens to rise in his chest. He hadn't thought about what his father had done to him for years. He was dead and rotted and couldn't touch Daryl anymore.

He was so focused on trying to breathe and not freak out that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching until a hand dropped onto his shoulder.

He flinched hard at the contact, something he hadn't done in a long time, and turned fists raised ready to claw and fight his way free. Rick raised his hands in a calming gesture.

“Whoa there! It’s just me.”

Daryl blinked, the image of his pa sneering at him replaced by Rick’s concerned blue eyes. He lowered his fists and took a shaky breath.

“You ok?”

The hunter gave a non-committal shrug, not looking at Rick.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?”

“Wasn’t nothing.”

Rick had frowned, eyebrows gathering down.

“I know it was something if you took a swing at him”

He waited a beat but Daryl remained silent. Rick nodded and placed his strong calloused hand on Daryl’s shoulder.

“Alright, I’m gonna keep him in his cell for the night. You come down when you’re ready okay?”

He squeezed the hunter’s shoulder with a gentle but firm grip and then he headed back down to the others. That was a couple of days ago and Daryl can’t help but shiver a bit when he thinks about the warm comforting pressure of Rick’s hand because both his brother and the ghost of his Pa were right.

He wanted Rick. He wanted to lose himself in those deep blue eyes, to fight by his side and protect his children. He wanted to know Rick and feel him, to hold him close and never let him go.

Daryl had known he liked guys since he was old enough to notice them but Merle had drilled into his brain that he couldn't be a faggot. It wasn't right and it wasn’t safe. So he hadn’t tried to act on any of his desires before now. Besides after his father's punishments, he couldn't really imagine being with a man to be that pleasurable.

But now, the rules were different and Rick was the type of man that Daryl had always been drawn to. He walked with quiet confidence, eyes sharp for any trouble. He could be violent and hard at times but only against those who threatened the group. The pain would be worth it to be close to Rick.

To the people in the prison he spoke gently but firmly. He didn't rule over them with an iron fist but he expected that if he gave a command it would be followed to the letter. He was a good father and watching him hold his baby filled Daryl with a warm ache. Rick had certainly changed in this new world but he had not let it change who he was. He was a good man. He was good people.


	2. I don't mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little short but it is an update :)

Daryl sat at one of the tables in the common area. He, Carol and Tyreese had just gotten back from a long run. They had been gone for three days and there had been a very close call on the way back.

They had stopped at a house that looked pretty clear of walkers and he had gone in first with Carol right behind him. He had been walking up the stairs, wanting to make sure they were alone, when the step beneath his foot gave way and he fell through the stairs onto the floor below. He hit his head pretty hard on the way down on something and was too dazed to notice that the debris from the stairs had pinned a walker down a couple of feet away from him.

If Carol hadn’t gotten to him before the walker could struggle free of the wood, he would have been dead right there on the floor.

He hadn’t been able to walk straight under his own power for a while so Tye and Carol had loaded him up in the car and completed the raid of the house alone. He hadn’t stopped seeing double until they were almost all the way home. He still had a pounding headache but he could walk under his own power which he was grateful for. Daryl didn’t like relying on other for help.

Bob had taken a look at the lump on his head, shined a light in his eyes and declared that Daryl would be fine but needed rest. That was what was supposed to be doing now. But he couldn’t lay still for more than 5 minutes without getting fidgety. The steady pulse of the headache made him wish he had some booze. They didn’t have any booze to spare but if he sat still and didn’t make any sudden movements his head didn’t hurt nearly as bad.

He had to do something to take his mind off the pulsing pain, so he had decided to clean the guns they had used on the run. Then he thought to himself, the stockpiled weapons should be cleaned too. After all you never know when you will need a gun.

He had just set aside a cleaned and reassembled rifle on the steadily growing pile of finished weapons when a deep voice spoke from behind him.

“You’re supposed to be taking a breather you know.”

Daryl nearly jumped out of his skin. The pain in his head revved up to almost too much but he was well practiced at pushing he pain away. He’d been so absorbed in his task that he didn’t even hear Rick’s approach. He turned toward Rick slowly and shrugged, not meeting Rick’s eyes and mumbling something about not being able to sleep. Rick chuckled and sat on the bench next to him.

“How’s your head?”

Daryl shrugged and reached toward a handgun. Rick watched him with steady eyes and tried again to draw him into a conversation.

“Judith was missing you today. She kept squirmin’ away from Beth saying ‘Dare Dare’ ”

Daryl gave a small smile at the image. Judith was just starting to learn to talk. She could say Dada for her daddy, Cal for Carl, and Dare for Daryl. She had learned to use it against them because every time she said one of their names in her baby way, the man in question couldn’t help but give her whatever she wanted, whether it be another story or a little treat or just being rocked to sleep in his arms.

She had them all so wrapped around her little finger it was funny.

“You should come by and visit her later this afternoon, after you rest.”

Daryl huffed out an annoyed breath.

“Save your mother-hennin’ for your kids Grimes”

Rick sighed and reached for the handgun in Daryl’s hand. When their fingers touched, Daryl felt a shiver run through him and he jerked his hand away like the touch had burned him. In a way it sort of had.

The sudden movement startled Rick and the gun fell to the floor with a clatter. Daryl leaned down to pick it up, hiding his red face from Rick

“Daryl are you…?”

The rest of Rick’s question was drowned in the sudden rush of pain that filled his head like flash flood water. The throbbing background headache, that he was well use to, suddenly surged forward to into the realm of feeling like someone had just cracked his head open with a baseball bat.

He let out a gasp of pain and distantly felt the hard concrete under him. His world was white pain for a few seconds. When the world came back into focus, he was laying on the floor of the common area, his head cradled in Rick’s lap. Rick was calling out to someone Daryl couldn’t see.

“…and make sure he gets his ass down here now!”

The shouting made Daryl wince and close his eyes again. Rick’s voice softens and a hand strokes his hair off his forehead.

“You with me? Daryl? I got you don’t worry. We’re gonna get you something for the pain. You stubborn son-of-a-bitch.”

Daryl head was throbbing steadily with his heartbeat and speaking didn’t seem like it would help anything and moving sounded like a terrible idea just now, so he just laid there, letting Rick support his head and murmur soothing words like he did with Judith sometimes. He hadn’t noticed before how tired he was until he was lying on Rick’s lap. It was nice to have something warm and comforting to rest against. Some distant part of his mind was yelling at him that he was way too close to Rick’s groin but the comforting warmth of Rick’s hand and the soothing honey of Rick’s voice kept that annoying voice of reason away.

He hears someone approaching but can’t quite muster up the energy to care just yet. As long as Rick kept petting his hair, he could give a shit what was going on.

When Rick presses something against his lips, the small hopeful part of his brain wants it to be something more intimate but when he opens his mouth he can taste the bitter flavor of painkillers. He drinks the water Rick gives him without complaint or hesitation. Rick starts to get up and Daryl wants to groan in frustration at the idea of not being on Rick’s lap. Clearly his brain has been scrambled because there is now way he would be letting himself think that with Rick so close.

Rick pulls him gently to his feet and ducks under his arm to support him. He half leads, half carries Daryl into the cell block. The hunter’s thoughts are starting to get fuzzy. He’s not sure what the pill was that Rick gave him but it is good shit.

His head gives a dull throb when Rick lays him down on his cot and he blinks up at Rick who is talking to him softly. He’s a bit slow in tuning into what Rick is saying.

“… sorry I probably made your head worse by moving you but you didn’t look that comfortable on the floor.”

Daryl relaxes into the bed letting the drug pull him under. He doesn’t remember giving his mouth permission to speak but he hears himself say just as he is drifting off.

“mmm s’ ok. It don’t hurt much now”, he slurs, “ ‘sides I don’t mind when you touch me.”

The last thing he remembers is a heavy callused hand resting against his cheek.

Then he is floating away from the pain into the warm comforting darkness.


	3. Like a star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the light-fluffyness while it lasts. It's gonna get very dark the next few chapters

It’s not that Daryl is acting weird. He’s just acting a bit different than normal. And who’s to say what’s normal in this fucked up new world? Carl was using walkers as target practice for knife throwing the other day. That’s not normal. But here it is almost routine.

And it’s not that Daryl is doing anything really differently. He still patrols the fences, works on the cars, makes more arrows and hunts whenever he can. That’s all pretty standard behavior for Daryl. The problem is more the way he is doing all those things.

Like how he doesn’t let Rick come with him to work the fences anymore. It’s not that stopping the walkers from breaching the perimeter is a particularly fun job, but it’s something they used to do together. They would talk, joke a bit and make plans for the supply runs. Recently Daryl’s been taking Merle as backup when he patrols the fences. And Rick gets it, he does. They are brothers after all, and it’s good they are on civil terms at least but Rick is starting to get the feeling that Daryl is starting to avoid him.

Yesterday Daryl had told Rick that he was gonna try for some big game in a few days, just as soon as the rain they’d been drenched with  on-and-off for a week cleared up. Rick had made a comment about maybe giving Daryl a hand, it was always good to have someone watching your back. Rick knew he wasn’t any good at hunting and he expected Daryl to come back with

“You’d scare off all the deer in Georgia with your tramping around.”

Instead Daryl had looked a little panicked and said “No I’ll be fine by myself. You just say here and uh keep things running.”

It wasn’t the words he said that were making Rick concerned. It was the way he said them. Like he didn’t want to be alone with Rick and would say anything to keep Rick away. Rick was always happy to give the younger man his space. He knew that Daryl had his own way of doing things and you didn’t push him unless you had a good reason to.

But Rick was just about to the point where he was gonna push for an explanation. Daryl had even stopped coming to Rick’s cell to visit Judith and Rick knew that the hunter loved and adored his Lil’ Asskicker. He couldn’t think what he had done to make Daryl think he wasn’t wanted but he knew he had to fix it and soon.

He didn’t know what he would do without Daryl.

It’s strange though. Daryl has been avoiding him whenever possible but once and a while he’ll catch Daryl watching him, a strange look on his face. He only sees it for a moment then the man is turning quickly away and running off again. It took a while, a couple of weeks to be exact, before Rick realized what it was.

He had come into the cell block looking for Maggie for something when he heard the soft cadences of lovers talking. He had peaked around the corner and seen Glenn and Maggie sitting together. Their sides were pressed together and they were murmuring to each other. They didn’t see Rick. Glenn reached over to brush Maggie’s hair out of her eyes and she looked up at him. Her eyes were soft, her face open, like Glenn was a star and she couldn’t help but be drawn into his gravity.

 Rick had slipped away not wanted to rob them of their stolen quiet moment. It hit him just as he had reached the gate to the cell block that he had seen that expression on Daryl. That same longing expression but with a touch of sadness mixed in. Like he thought he would only ever get to look and never to have.

Daryl loved him. That explained everything. The way Daryl had shied away when Rick had casually touched his hand, the way the hunter kept avoiding him while staring at him when he though no one was looking, the way that Daryl flushed and stalked off whenever they had to interact. Rick had to stop and lean against the wall for support.

Ever since Lori died he hadn’t even considered…Well there wasn’t much time for those things anyway. He had been lost in grief for a long time and then there was so much going on, he hadn’t thought of finding someone else.

But Daryl loved him. And he may not know a lot about Daryl but he knew enough to see that he wouldn't love like that easily.


	4. When we dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do I love being mean to Daryl? 
> 
> Warning for Graphic Rape. Be careful of triggers

_The clash of lips and teeth is just this side of painful but it’s perfect and Daryl moans into the kiss. Rick pushes Daryl until his back slams against the wall of his cell, pressing his body flush against the hunter’s._

_Rick’s mouth moves down Daryl’s jaw to his throat and he nips and sucks a hickey into the flesh above his pulse point. Daryl lets his head fall back, moaning and shivering._

_“Ahh Rick fuck…”_

_He clings to the older man, wanting to be closer, resenting every inch of space between them._

_Rick’s knee slots between Daryl’s legs and grinds against his dick. The hunter lets out a gasp and pulls Rick up for another kiss. Rick’s hand reaches between them and rubs Daryl through his pants. Daryl moans into the kiss._

_Rick pulls away from Daryl and stares hungrily at him._

_“You think I haven’t seen you starting at me?”_

_Daryl shudders and licks his lips._

_“Rick, please…”_

_He tries to lean forward to kiss Rick again but a rough calloused hand fastens around his neck and pins him against the wall._

_“No. You will take what I give you.” Rick’s voice is hard, unyielding._

_He strokes Daryl roughly, his other hand tight against the hunter’s throat, not cutting off his air but making it clear that he could._

_Daryl whines softly hands gripping at Rick’s shoulders. The touch is too rough it’s starting to hurt but Rick just keeps going._

_“You need this don’t you? You’d take it from anyone wouldn’t you? You fucking slut”_

_No, this is wrong. Rick wouldn’t say that to Daryl. He wouldn’t. He tries to push Rick away from him but Rick’s hand moves faster than the hunter would have thought possible and cuffs him hard enough to make his vision black out for a moment._

_Before he can recover, Rick pushes him to his knees. His voice is completely unrecognizable now._

_“Open your mouth faggot!”_

_He’s too stunned to resist as Rick forces his mouth open. He fucks Daryl’s mouth with fast brutal thrusts. Daryl pushes hard at Rick but he couldn’t budge the older man, like all his strength has evaporated. Rick backhands him so hard he would have been thrown sideways if not for Rick’s grip on his hair._

_“Fucking take it you useless pussy!”_

_Daryl’s eyes fill with tears as Rick fucks in deeper cutting off his airways. Panic and pain war for his full attention as spots fill his vision. Rick’s fingers dig into his scalp as he pushes deeper one last time and cums down Daryl’s throat._

_Daryl chokes and coughs violently when Rick finally lets him go. He would have collapsed sideways if Rick’s hand hadn’t fastened around his neck again. He pulled Daryl’s face up to look at him, forcing him to look into his eyes. His eyes. Rick’s eyes weren’t blue anymore._

_They were steely gray._

_His Pa’s eyes._

Daryl wakes suddenly, a choked scream trying to escape him. He clamps down on the sound, not wanting to wake Pa. He’d get the belt again if he woke him up.

It takes a few moments but he manages to focus on his surrounds. A cell, not his shitty closet sized room in that shack that smelled like chaw and moonshine. He’s confused for a moment then remembers where he is. In the prison with his new family. And not Will Dixon.

‘He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He can hurt you anymore’

Suddenly the four walls of his cell were too much and he had to get out of here.

He slipped out of his cell, out of the cell block and past the guard tower. He feels a scream building again and he’s shaking so badly he can’t walk straight.

He makes it behind the trucks before the memories crash over him. He feels the phantom hands on his body and smell the putrid breath and he falls to his knees, retching until there is nothing left inside him. Daryl stays down on the ground, body convulsing with dry heaves and sobs.

Daryl felt disgusted and sick and tired and terrified. He can’t think. He can only feel the pain and the shame.

He isn’t sure how long he stays there until he hears someone coming. A steady thud-thud-thud of steel-toed boots on concrete. Daryl raised his eyes through the haze of panic and the tears to see Merle walking toward him.

He wants to crawl away from Merle, not wanting Merle to see him like this, but doesn’t have the strength to do even that.

Merle keeps his steady pace until he’s standing over Daryl. He’s face is oddly sober looking, not a hint of a cocky smile on his face.

“Well lil brother, you don’t look so good. What’s going on?”

Daryl wipes his mouth on his sleeve and looks up at Merle, feeling like a child. How could he explain what he was doing out here to his tough-as-nails no-bullshit brother? Merle would just call him a faggot too.

“Daryl?” his brother’s voice was more urgent now, like he had called Daryl’s name a few times and not received an answer. Daryl watched him numbly.

Merle leaned forward and grabbed Daryl’s shoulder and gave him a shake.

“C’mon boy! I know you can hear me!”

Laying a hand on Daryl was absolutely the wrong move. When he felt the hand against his shoulder, he felt all the times their Pa had touched him. All the times he was helpless to do anything about it.

But he wasn’t helpless now.

He snarls like a wounded animal and surgs up, lashing out. He caught Merle off guard and the first blow sends him stumbling backward. He recovers quickly though. Spitting out a mouthful of blood he growls,

“The fuck are you doing?!”

Daryl can’t find his voice to scream, all he can do is fight.

But Merle was always the better fighter than him. Even one-handed, his brother manages to overpower him and pin him down. The surge of anger that had given him strength to stand drains away and he doesn’t fight anymore. He’s too tired.

Merle feels when he gives up the fight and lets go, sitting back on his heels, panting hard and looking down at his baby brother.

Then Merle does something Daryl would have never expected. He puts his arms around Daryl and pulls him onto his lap. He holds Daryl like he used to when Daryl was very small and their momma was too drunk to comfort her youngest son. Merle soothes his brother in his rough way and Daryl is trembling again like a child, wanting to accept his brother’s comfort.

“Here now, why don’t you just tell ol’ Merle what all the fuss is about? So’s we can get straight to the point and not be dancing around it like damn women.”

Daryl chokes out a laugh that seems more hysterical than anything.

“C’mon baby brother, ain’t no one here but us.”

The dam that was holding back the flood of fear and pain inside breaks and he tells Merle everything.

How their father had come into his room when Daryl was 8 the night after Merle left to enlist. How he had overpowered Daryl with a hunting knife and said if he struggled or told anyone what had happened, the man would gut him like an animal. How he tried to stay away but Pa would always find him. How he tried to run away but the cops picked him up and dropped him right back in that hellhole. How he still had nightmares even after Pa was dead.

How he had come to care about Rick and his family. How he was a faggot just like Pa had said. And finally about the nightmare tonight. How Rick with pa’s eyes had overpowered him and used him.

Merle let him vent, not interrupting. He held Daryl against his chest as all the pain poured out of Daryl like a fountain. Let him cry and sob against Merle’s jacket. Just held him.

When the outpouring began to slow and just the sound of Daryl’s unsteady breathing with the occasional hiccup of a sob fills the silence. Merle stroked Daryl’s hair, rocking him gently back and forth.

“Shhhh I got you baby brother. I got you.”

Daryl clung to Merle, still trembling from the aftershocks of all the memories.

“He’s dead. That motherfucker is long dead and rotted. And Officer Friendly is a lot of things but he ain’t like that.”

Daryl nodded his voice unsteady.

“I kn-know”

Merle reaches into his pocket and pulls out his handkerchief and, more gently that Daryl would have thought possible, he wiped the tears off Daryl’s face.

“There now, all that cryin’s gonna ruin your makeup Darylena”

Daryl shoves Merle away from him, voice a little rougher than normal.

“Fuck you Merle”

Merle just laughs and pulls Daryl to his feet.

“Come on brother, let’s get some shut eye while the night is still young.”

They walk together back to the prison, Merle’s arm resting across Daryl’s shoulders. The silence is easy.

Daryl didn’t feel as sick anymore and the tremors had gone away at least for the moment. He lets himself enjoy the feeling of having a big bad brother watching his back, ready to stomp down on anything that tried to hurt him.

They hadn’t made it ten steps before there was a loud groaning of metal giving way under an immense pressure and then the crash of metal against the earth and Glenn’s shouts of,

“Help! Walkers! There’s a breach in the fence!”

The brothers broke into a run heading straight towards the commotion without having to say a word. The threat of danger pushed the past out of Daryl’s mind. At least for the moment he was free.

This is their prison and no one’s gonna take it away from them.

* * *

_Rick climbs the stairs to the watch tower not bothering to be quiet. He knows Daryl will hear him the moment he is within throwing distance of the man. Daryl is standing at the window, crossbow in hand, his rifle leaning against the wall within easy reach._

_“It’s been quiet tonight”_

_Rick chuckles, “You don’t have to sound so grim about it. We don’t need any more problems than the ones we got.”_

_Daryl scans the fence line ever vigilant. Rick takes up a post next to him._

_“You should head inside and get some sleep”_

_“Nah, I ain’t tired”_

_Rick gives Daryl a nudge with his shoulder._

_“You need to take care of yourself more. You’re running yourself into the ground”_

_Daryl says firmly, “Ain’t your kid Grimes. Stop trying to mother me.”_

_Rick reaches out and rests a hand on his back, “Daryl it ain’t like that. I just…”_

_When Rick’s hand touches the hunter back Daryl jerks away and shoves the older man away from him. His voice is almost a snarl._

_“I ain’t your fucking responsibility! I don’t need no one to baby me!”_

_Rick tries to catch Daryl’s shoulder, trying to stop him from storming out._

_“Daryl, that’s not what I…”_

_Daryl moves to push Rick out of his space but Rick spun using the other man’s momentum to propel him into a wall. Daryl let out a surprised grunt and Rick pins him there._

_“Stop! Listen to me Daryl. I’m not trying to baby you. I’m just watching your back. You’d do the same for me. You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep going like this!”_

_Daryl is breathing hard but he lets Rick hold him still, not fighting anymore. His stare is heavy and it pins Rick as effectively as if he is the one against the wall. Daryl’s eyes flick down to Ricks lips. It’s just for a moment but Rick suddenly notices how close they are. Closer than they have ever been. Rick finds himself drawn nearer to Daryl’s pale blue eyes and his open expression._

_When their lips meet, it’s soft and chaste. Rick moves to pull away, wanting to ask Daryl if this is what he wants but the hunter’s hand cups the back of his head and pulls him back down. The kiss deepens, tongues battling for dominance and hand exploring each other’s bodies. They pull apart for a moment to catch their breath, foreheads resting together._

_“Daryl” He says it almost like a prayer._

_Daryl opens his mouth to respond_

“Dad! Come on wake up!”

Rick jolts upright out of bed almost slamming his head against Carl’s.

“Wha-What the ”

He is still half in the dream, feeling Daryl’s hands against his back. Its pitch black outside and he can only see Carl because of the flashlight in the boy’s hand.

“Come on Dad get up! Walkers breached the fence! We have to go help the others!”

 He shakes Rick again pulling urgently at his jacket.

The words took a second before they registered with his sleepy brain. Then he was up and running toward the door, barely pausing to pull his boots on and grabbing his gun.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he was extremely grateful he slept fully dressed these days.


	5. Messed up enough

The crisis was handled quickly and it was only by sheer dumb luck they didn’t lose anyone. The walkers had piled up against the eastern fence and brought it down with the sheer force of their weight. Glenn was on watch and had sounded the alarm when he heard the crash of the fence hitting the packed earth.

Everyone who was able was on the ground armed with knives and clubs, they couldn’t waste what little ammo they had, and they moved in tight formations. Rick was shouting orders as they went, leaving a trail of the dead behind them. There were enough walkers to pose a challenge to the fighters but it wasn’t worse than when they first came and they had more people now.

For a while Rick forgot about his dream, distracted by the situation at hand.

They had to repair the fence once they had put down all the walkers which was complicated by the walkers still coming towards the breach. Daryl and Michonne ended up outside the gate keeping the walkers at bay while they rest of them worked on the fence.

By the time they were done, dawn had arrived and everyone was exhausted.

Angela, one of the newer people who had lived in Woodberry, and her husband Jake had taken up watch and everyone else trooped back inside. Some went right to their cells and were out before you could say ‘sweet dreams’.

Rick was too wired to try and sleep but too exhausted to want to do anything else. He did a headcount again, making sure everyone was accounted for and poured over a blueprint of the compound trying to figure out where the next breach might occur and trying to work out how to avoid it. Damn but he could use a cup of hot strong coffee.

“Hey Officer Friendly, you should go get some shuteye before you keel over.”

Rick glanced over at Merle with eyebrows lifted.

“I didn’t know you cared so much”

Merle snorted. “Not for you no. But if you don’t call it quits then he won’t”

Merle jerked his head to indicate Daryl, who was sitting across the room, looking about at terrible as Rick felt. He was mechanically cleaning his crossbow, eyes bloodshot.

He had been on watch before Glenn so he hadn’t been off duty for more than a few hours when the alarm sounded. And he had been keeping the walkers at bay for a long time while they worked frantically to repair the fence.

He looked so tired that Judith could’ve toddled in on her little legs and pushed him off his seat. And he looked almost ill, like he was just getting over a bad bout of flu. His skin was paler than usual and his eyes looked haunted.

Rick watched Daryl for a moment, memories of his dream easing back into his mind. He wondered absently what Daryl’s lips would taste like. He shook himself and turned back to Merle.

“Why don’t you go and tell him to sleep then?”

Merle looked at him like he was stupid. Rick supposed that he was.

“Because if my lil brother is anything, he’s stubborn. When he chooses a side he will fight for them to the end. I know my brother Grimes, he’s gonna follow your lead and if you don’t rest, he won’t.”

Merle’s expression was hard, like he was considering knocking Rick unconscious so Daryl could rest. Rick glanced back at Daryl then nodded at Merle. The man slid away from him, somehow managing to swagger even though he looked like hell too.

Rick thought it over for a moment, then deciding on a plan he walked over to Beth and lifted Judith from her arms. All the commotion had woken her and she was just starting to calm down a bit. With his baby in his arms he moved over to Daryl. Judith was perfect for a job like this. Daryl was like putty in her tiny hands.

Daryl looked up at him and when he saw the baby a ghost of a smile lit over his face. She cooed and reached for him and he took her in his arms setting aside his bow. She made some more happy baby noises and buried her face into his shirt.

Rick nodded his head back towards the cells.

“There is nothing more to do here. Let’s get a few hours sleep before shit starts hitting the fan again.”

Daryl looks like his about to protest but he lets out a breath and nods. Even as tired as he is, Daryl is absolutely steady as he holds Judith.

They walk together to Rick’s cell where Judith sleeps but when he tries to set her down in her crib she starts to cry. He tries to hand her back to Rick but she squirms and cries louder.

Daryl settles her back against his chest and Rick laughs.

“I guess she wants her Dare Dare”

“She’s just stubborn like her Daddy”

Daryl nuzzles the top of her head, enjoying the warmth of her tiny body.

“I guess you’ll have to stay here for tonight. You probably wouldn’t make it back to your cell without passing out anyway.”

Daryl looks panicked for a moment, a ghost of something like true terror flitting behind his eyes before he visibly masters himself. A wave of fatigue seems to sweeps over him and sways a little in place. Rick rests his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, gently pushing him to sit on the bunk.

He’s tense under Rick’s hand, eyes tracking the older man’s movements, like he expected an attack. Rick moves away from the bunk and extinguishes the torch they use for light.

When he glances back at the bed, Daryl had his back against the wall, eyes closed, his chin resting against his chest, already fast asleep. Judith snuggles against him and yawns. Rick watches them for a moment before gently easing Daryl flat on the bed and pulling up the blanket to tuck around them.

He watches with a smile on his face, enjoying the moment of peace.

He senses the man before he hears him. Merle can be surprisingly quiet when he wants to be. He stares hard at Rick, eyes hard like ice, and then walks away from the cell. Rick gets the message loud and clear and follows him.

They walk until they are in an area of the cell block not currently inhabited by anyone. Merle turns to face Rick.

“Now listen to me, Officer Friendly. You need to back off my brother.”

Rick blinks in surprise, fully awake now.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“I’m talking about pushing Daryl into something he ain’t fucking ready for”

“You're not making sense. What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean”, Merle kept his voice low but he was spitting out the words. “You think I didn’t see how you were looking at him, leading him into your fucking cell, pushing him to stay”

Rick was starting to get angry now.

“You were the one who told me he needed sleep and I should help him.”

“I said you should get some sleep so he wouldn’t feel like he had to say awake. I didn’t fucking tell you to drag him into your cell and make him sleep there.”

Merle growled and his hands clenched and unclenched, like he would want nothing more than to wrap them around Rick’s throat. Rick tried to speak but Merle cut him off harshly.

“Daryl ain’t your fucking bitch and if you try to make him earn his keep like that, I will kill you! You hear me!”

Rick felt as if he had been slapped in the face. He was absolutely speechless for a moment. When he finally found his voice he spluttered out,

“I don’t…I would never…Daryl is family to me! I would never take advantage of him like that!”

Merle looked unconvinced. His voice was hard and it shook ever so slightly in anger.

“I knew man that would swear up and down that he would never take advantage of his family like that. That don’t erase what daddy did to my brother.”

Ice flooded the pit of Rick stomach at the implication. He couldn’t speak, eyes wide with sudden horror. He had assumed that Daryl’s father had beaten him but this…

He thought of all the times he had man-handled Daryl, all the times that he had casually touched Daryl, all the times Daryl had flinched away from an unexpected touch, the way Daryl had watched him so closely just a moment ago when Rick had pushed him onto the bunk, with real fear in his eyes.

Merle was watching him closely as well, waiting for something. Rick wasn’t sure what he was looking for but he must have seen it because he nodded and seemed to calm down some.

“Anyone with eyes can see he’s taken a shine to ya. But you can’t push him on this. It might break him. And I will kill anyone to stop that from happenin’. He’s messed up enough without ya makin’ it worse.”

Rick frowns, still trying to process the information. He pushes past the lump in his throat.

“I won’t…I couldn’t…Fuck, I won’t push anything with Daryl. Thank you for telling me”

Merle shrugged. “If I’m gonna kill ya for Daryl, I figure it’s only fair to warn you so you can pick where ya wanna be buried”

Rick lets out a huff of mirthless laughter and turns back to his cell leaving Merle behind.

Daryl and Judith are right where he left them. He folds the spare blanket into a makeshift mattress on the floor and lays down on it. It's not that comfortable but he's slept on worse. He can’t help but watch the sleeping man for a few minutes. He always looks younger, more relaxed when he sleeps.

With the baby on his chest he looks kinda like a father who fell asleep trying to get the baby down for the night. It makes Rick smile.

He would let Daryl make the first move, if there was a move to be made. He wouldn’t be pushy and he’d give Daryl time. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted in all this. He had loved Lori with all his heart and hadn’t ever thought of a man before. But that dream…It had to mean something. He watched Daryl’s chest rise and fall for a while longer before he drifted off to sleep. He thought of all the things that Daryl has been through.

Daryl was a true survivor in every sense of the word.


	6. If you do nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. Had some nasty term papers to write. 
> 
> As always comments, kudos and criticisms welcome

* * *

Daryl slams his hunting blade into the walker that was just inches away from overtaking him. There wasn’t time to reload his crossbow and they couldn’t risk firing their guns. They could only run.

Rick led the way, past broken down cars on would have once been called a sleepy suburb in the old world. Now the streets are filled with the snarling hissing of the dead. The herd had taken them by surprise on the way back from a run. Daryl had been trying to get the car to start back up when Rick grabbed him and pointed silently at the oncoming walkers.

The supply run was supposed to be a quick one but they had to drive further to get the baby formula and some medicine that they needed. Rick had proposed to go by himself but Daryl was having none of that. No one went anywhere alone.

They ran as fast as they could, cutting and slashing their way free. Soon they were out of sight of the herd. Rick steers them toward a house off the main street, pulls open the door and slams it shut behind Daryl.

They don’t dare to relax just yet. Daryl only pauses long enough to reload his crossbow before he pads softly after Rick, whose hand was gripped firmly around his machete.

They don’t speak, not yet. It ain’t safe.

Rick takes point and together they check every room. They don’t find any walkers waiting for them. The occupants of this house must have left a long time ago, probably before shit turned really nasty. From what he can tell, they hadn’t taken much with them. Maybe some clothes and some food but for the most part everything else is untouched.

Only when they were sure they were alone did they take a seat at the kitchen table and just try to breathe. That had been a close call. Way too fucking close.

Rick rubbed his palms over his eyes and Daryl stole a quick glance over the older man. Rick looked unhurt but more than a little stressed. Not surprising. Every day is a new struggle to just survive.

Rick was the one to break the silence,

“We’ll have to stay here tonight. It’s getting dark and we can’t get the car running again without some light.”

Daryl fiddles with his hunting knife and nods slowly.

“They’re gonna worry.”

They. Carl, Judith, Carol, everyone at the prison. Even Merle. It wasn’t something they talked about but there was always a tension in the air when someone was late coming home. Conversations broke off at the slightest sound and causal touches lingered a few moments longer, everyone wanting to be sure that they were still here at least.

It was only when the person came back from a run or a hunt or a patrol that everyone let out their collective breath and life resumed its normal rhythms.

Rick lets out a sigh

“I know but there ain’t nothing we can do at the moment. Besides we told ‘em we would be gone for a day or two. C’mon let’s get to work” 

Daryl obeyed without having to think too much about it. They had done this so often that it was habit now. Rick started pulling what food they could salvage from the pantry and the cabinets and Daryl searched through the drawers, looking for anything they could use.

Whoever had lived here didn’t seem to like cooking because there was a ton of canned soups and stews stored all over the place. Daryl found some batteries, some knives, three flashlights, three rolls of duct tape, a few sturdy stew pots and some other cooking utensils.

While they strip the house of anything they could use, they don’t speak. There had been a lot of tense silences between them lately. Like both of them are waiting for a bomb to go off.

Daryl used to enjoy silence, mainly because when he was a kid silence meant his pa was gone or too drunk to be conscious. And Daryl had always thought a lot of people talked too much about nothing.

But this silence with Rick was driving him up the wall. Maybe he had been too obvious in his attraction to Rick. Maybe he had damaged their friendship beyond repair.

At least if the stupid car had lasted till they got back to the prison he could have avoided Rick and the whole thing would just go away. But instead he was stuck in a house with the man he wants but who doesn’t seem to want to talk to him at beyond the necessary.

They have done this so often that Daryl’s body is on autopilot. He tries to push all thought away. He had to focus on the task at hand. He could do it. He had to.

_____________________

Merle’s words keep echoing in his mind as he works methodically, Daryl by his side.

_“He’s messed up enough without you making it worse”_

Merle hadn’t said it outright but Rick was almost sure that Daryl had been sexually abused by his father. His own father. He shouldn’t been surprised. There wasn’t any real privacy anymore so he had seen Daryl’s scars. Some of them so deep that he couldn’t believe that Daryl had survived them all.

A man that was capable of hurting his own child like that was capable of anything. But the thought still made him sick.

And angry. When he had been a deputy in the old world, he’d been called to the scenes of a few horrific domestic violence situations and he always had to suppress a surge of fierce rage in order to stay professional. He was grateful that he had that skill now. He didn’t want to explode, not here, not in front of Daryl.

He was still conflicted about how he felt about Daryl and he didn’t wanna push the issue anyway. It was easier to not talk about it. Give Daryl his space.

“I’ll take first watch”

Daryl’s voice is seems loud in the stillness of the house. Rick nods and moves toward the couch. He sets the packs on the floor within easy reach and his revolver on the coffee table. He lies down and rubs a hand over his eyes. It had been a long day.

Daryl pads away to check the window and the exits, making sure everything is locked down tight. Rick closes his eyes and falls into a light doze. He wakes suddenly sometime later when Daryl nudges his shoulder. He knows by the quality of the darkness that it’s just past midnight. He gives Daryl a tired nod and they change places. Daryl is asleep within a few minutes. The man had always had that talent, catching a few moments of rest whenever he could no matter where they were.

Rick finds his eyes drawn more to the sleeping man than to the darkness outside. He’s struck again how young Daryl looks with sleep smoothing the lines around his eyes and the hard set of his jaw. He looks years younger this way.

Rick suddenly realizes that he was been staring at Daryl for almost 10 minutes. He turns quickly back to the window, readjusting his grip on the gun. You can’t get much creepier than watching someone sleep like that.

He managed not to look at Daryl for a while. The night was just starting to lighten when he heard the sound from the couch. He turned and saw Daryl had curled in on himself and his face was creased in distress. He was making these small whimpering noises, so softly that if the house had not been so silent Rick never would have heard them. Must be a nightmare.

Rick holstered his gun and crouched down by the couch. Daryl’s body was so tense and he was shaking a little. Rick hesitated a moment, then reached out a hand and gently laid it on Daryl’s head. He murmured in a voice he normally reserved for Judith.

“Daryl? Hey shhhh it’s just a nightmare shhh I got you”

Daryl had tensed more, if that was even possible, at the first contact but slowly he leaned into Rick’s hand. The shaking slowly died down and Daryl began to uncoil. Rick kept stroking and soothing Daryl until the man lay still and quiet.

They stayed like that for a long time and before Rick knew it the sun was peaking over the horizon and it was morning.

Rick had intended to let Daryl sleep a bit longer but the man had an internal clock that woke him at dawn every day. Must have been all those years hunting. Rick was still absentmindedly petting Daryl’s hair when, still half-asleep, Daryl leaned more into Rick’s hand letting out a soft “Mmmm”

It hit Rick suddenly how bad this might look and he slowly took his hand away and was in the kitchen by the time Daryl had fully roused. Rick opened two cans of soup and listened. As was his custom, Daryl hardly made a sound as he entered the kitchen.

He nodded to Daryl in greeting offering a can to him.

“Hungry?”

Daryl grunted in response and took the can, eating quickly. Rick bolted down his can and sorted through the packs, making sure everything was ready.

“Sleep ok?”

Rick was careful to keep his tone light and casual. Daryl shrugged.

“Yeah. Fine”

Rick doesn’t’ push for more. He tries not to watch the man but he can’t help but see the stiff way Daryl carried himself. Like something was weighing on him.

Rick wanted to approach Daryl and smooth over the lines on his brow. He wanted to ease the hunter’s burden and kiss away the tension. Whoa. Where did that thought come from?

Daryl set the can down and headed toward the window. He peaked out and said,

“Looks clear. We should be able to get back to the car no problem.”

Rick just stared at Daryl, certainty filling him. He wouldn’t rather have anyone else watching his back. He trusted Daryl to watch over Carl and Judith, the only family he has left. He didn’t want Daryl to suffer any pain of any kind. He wanted to kiss the daylights out of Daryl until his mind was only in this moment.

When Rick hadn’t responded to Daryl’s comment, the hunter turned back and their eyes met.

“Rick did ya hear…?”

He trails off eyes widening a little. Rick knows that in that moment, Daryl can see right through him. See his emotions written all over his face. Daryl freezes and swallows. For just a moment Rick gets a glimpse behind the mask Daryl wears to protect himself. He sees the same desire he feels reflected in those sky blue eyes. But he also sees how haunted those eyes are.

He knows instinctively that what Merle said was the absolute truth. If he pushes Daryl on this he would destroy the relationship they do share. He would lose Daryl.

But if he did nothing Daryl wouldn’t reach out to him. The hunter would keep his distance and pretend that nothing had happened.

“Let’s stay here a little while. The car will be there waiting for us. I gotta talk to ya”

Daryl breaks the gaze and turns toward the door shaking his head.

“Need ta get back. Burning daylight.”

Rick is listening for it so he hears the slight tremor in Daryl’s voice.

“Daryl please”

He keeps his voice soft. No command in his tone. Daryl lets go of the door handle and turns back to Rick, eyes focused on the wall behind Rick.

“What?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha Ha cliff-hanger! I feel so evil! 
> 
> Will update soon
> 
> Kisses!!


	7. All he had to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't stand the thought of leaving all of you in suspense so here ya go

He was fucked and he knew it. Rick had read him like a book and he wasn’t gonna let it go.

Would Rick make him leave? He couldn’t stomach the thought of never seeing his prison family again. Would he shout and call Daryl a sick motherfucker? Daryl really didn’t want to know.

But when Rick said his name like that, he couldn’t help but obey. Like a moth to a flame he turned and spat out a clipped “What?”

No matter what Rick said, he wouldn’t let the hurt show. He wouldn’t show weakness in front of this man.

“We need to have a lil talk. We’ve been avoiding it for too long.”

Daryl doesn’t answer. He just stares at the wall behind Rick and braces for whatever comes.

“I care about you a lot Daryl. I trust you completely and I want you to be happy.”

Daryl sneaks a quick glance at Rick’s eyes then looks away again, leaning back against the doors, with arms folded across his chest. He still doesn’t speak.

“We don’t have many good things in our lives anymore. We only have our family and if you wanted…we could…Fuck, this is more awkward than when I was a teenager. Daryl what I’m trying to ask is, do you want to be with me?”

Daryl stared blankly at Rick, not believing his own ears. Did Rick just ask what he thought he did? A sneering voice in the back of his head whispered that Rick was just baiting him to get Daryl to admit out loud that he was attracted to the older man. He pushed that voice away. No, Rick wasn’t like that.

“Daryl?”

Daryl decided to treat the whole thing as a joke. They would have a laugh and go back to the prison and it would be like this never happened.

“Ya asking me on a date Grimes?”

“Yeah I am.”

Daryl snapped his head up and stared open mouthed at Rick. His voice was so steady, so sure with no hint of a joke in those cobalt eyes. Rick stepped closer, almost invading Daryl’s personal space.

“I’d like to start something here. Been thinking about it a lot recently. I need to know what you want.”

Daryl swallowed hard. Rick was serious. He was just standing there asking Daryl if he wanted this, wanted Rick. Daryl wanted to say something, he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to say but the words were stuck in his throat.

“If I read it wrong and you don’t want this”, Rick waves his hand indicating the two of them, “then tell me and I’ll never mention it again.”

He moved his hand like he wanted to touch Daryl’s cheek but stopped just shy of making contact.

“But I don’t think I’m wrong. I think you want this as badly as I do. Please, Daryl say something.”

Daryl opened his mouth to respond but the words were trapped behind a knot of fear and disbelief. Instead he turned his head so Rick’s fingers brushed his cheek. Rick’s calloused hand cupped his cheek, thumb stroking lightly. Daryl held Rick’s gaze, unable to look away now. He wanted to say what he wanted, that Rick hadn’t read him wrong but he was so used to pushing his feelings down and away that he couldn’t find the words. Rick moved in a little closer. When he spoke his voice was soft like a caress.

“I need you to say it, Daryl please”

Daryl cast around for what to say, what did Rick want him to say? Then it dawned on him.

Rick had asked him ‘Do you want to be with me?’ All he wanted Daryl to do was to tell him yes or no. He could do that. He could manage one little word for Rick. When he spoke, his voice didn’t sound like his own, it hardly was loud enough to hear at all but he knew that Rick would hear and understand.

“Yes”

Rick’s other hand cups Daryl’s face and he closes the distance between them.

Rick’s lips are warm and soft. He can’t react at first but Rick’s hands are warm and gentle and his mouth is moving slowly against Daryl. Daryl dimly notices his hands are moving without his permission, reaching up to circle around Rick’s neck. His eyes are closed—when did that happen?—and Daryl finds his lips moving too, trying to mimic Rick. One of Rick’s hands circles around Daryl’s waist and pulls them closer and Daryl melts into him. That nasty voice in his head is silent for once, and he was only here with this man, nowhere else.

They lost themselves in kissing for a few hours, or was it just a few minutes. Daryl wasn’t sure. Nothing else existed but them for that moment.

But their moment was shattered by the loud thump of a walker throwing itself against the window. They jumped at the sound, hands reaching for weapons, both breathing hard. When they saw the walker clawing at the window, they lowered their weapons. Rick smiled and leaned back into Daryl’s space, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to Daryl’s cheek.

“Well now that’s a real mood killer”

Daryl huffed out a breath and leaned into Rick, not wanting to speak and bring them back to reality.

“We can’t stay here. We’ve lingered too long already”

Daryl nodded stepped back from Rick retrieving his pack and his bow. As he moves toward the door and away from Rick, uncertainly floods his gut like icy water. What the hell had just happened? What would happen when they got back home? What would Rick expect him to do?

“Daryl, wait a second”

The hunter turns back and suddenly they are kissing again. It is brief but passionate enough to burn away the doubt at least for now. When they broke apart Rick was trying to suppress a grin.

“Alright, now we can go”

Daryl smiled a little his fingers locked into the fabric of Rick’s jacket.

“You’re crazy Grimes”

Rick placed another kiss on Daryl’s lips, just a peck this time.

“Everyone’s a bit crazy now.”

They make it back to the car and Daryl manages to get it up and running and they are back on the road going home before mid-morning. Rick is driving his left hand on the wheel and his right resting on the console. The silence between them now is different than the silence before. Less tense, more just enjoying the other’s company.

 They had found a few CD’s in the glove box and 5 songs had played before Daryl worked up the nerve to rest his hand over Rick’s. Rick turned his hand and laced their fingers together giving a squeeze. Daryl hadn’t looked at Rick except for a one tiny glance. Rick was watching the road, a smile playing around his lips, his thumb stroking the Daryl’s hand.

Daryl slowly relaxes into the moment, hardly daring to believe what was happening. He would be inclined to think he was dreaming but Rick’s hand was solid and warm and right there. His eyes were blue when he kissed Daryl, not grey and Rick was good people. He wouldn’t play Daryl, that wasn’t his way.

He could do this, Daryl realized. He could make something with Rick. Something good.


	8. Too Stubborn or Just Too Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just did not want to get written *sigh* 
> 
> Lemme know what you think
> 
> Warnings for minor rape scene

Life went on in the prison much as it did before. They worked and planned, played with Judith and put down walkers. Nothing much had changed between Rick and Daryl on the outside. On the way home, Rick had asked Daryl if he wanted to tell anyone about them. The hunter had shook his head muttering something about ‘ain't none of their business.’ Rick nodded and they’d kept going.

Daryl thought Merle might suspect something is up but he hasn't said anything about it. Daryl is grateful for that. The last thing he needs is people interjecting their opinions into his business.  

They don’t get a lot of opportunities to be alone. They both have plenty of responsibilities to keep them occupied, plenty of people counting on them. Most of the time they don’t show more affection than sitting close each other at meals, or brushing their fingers when they hand the other something.

Sometimes Daryl comes to Rick’s cell on the presence of playing with Judith and he does play with her some but he and Rick also steal kisses and caresses. And maybe it is because the kisses are few and far between that makes them so sweet, maybe it’s just Rick is a good kisser, Daryl’s not sure either way. He didn't have any experience with relationships but he was happy with Rick and that was all he really wanted.

Daryl had always thought he knew everything there was to know about his body. He knew exactly how to make his footsteps silent on a hunt. How much booze he can drink before he gets truly drunk. How long he could hunt for without stopping. How long he could stay awake with no sleep.

But with Rick he found there was so much about himself that he was ignorant of. Like the fact that he shivered and moaned with pleasure when Rick mouthed at his neck, arching his head back to expose more skin. Or the fact that he melted when Rick worked the knots out of his shoulders with sure strong fingers. Or the fact he kinda liked the feeling Rick's beard against his face.

Daryl also really liked it how Rick would sometimes talk to him when they were alone. Once Rick sat him down on the bed and took Daryl’s hands in his. He lay kisses across Daryl’s palm and slowly worked his way to the man’s knuckles. Rick mummered softly how strong and steady these hands are and how much they carry. Daryl flushed as he watched. Part of him wanted to pull his hand away and tell Rick to stop but that part of him was growing smaller every day.

The rest of him wanted to give back as much as he could to this man who had been his closest friend for so long, but there was only so much he could give and Rick still didn't know about…what had happened.

Rick deserved to know. To know what he was getting into with Daryl, to know what Daryl truly was.

A broken man, who was too damaged to be loved.

Daryl tried a half-dozen times to bring it up but every single time words failed him and he let Rick hold him and kiss away the dark thoughts.

* * *

 

It was a warm afternoon in early spring and Rick had accompanied Daryl on a hunt. He wasn't much good at it but it was hours that they could be together and have no one interrupt them. Apart of course from the occasional walker but they were more than capable enough for that.

Daryl had shot 8 squirrels and 4 rabbits when they stopped to rest. They hung the meat up in a tree to keep it out of the way and Rick pulled him down to kiss him gently but hungrily. They playfully wrestled, rolling over and over until Daryl was on his back and Rick was on his side pressed up against Daryl. They kissed some more and Daryl let Rick nuzzle at his neck.  After a while Rick sat back a little and started tracing under Daryl’s eyes with a thumb.

“You been sleeping ok?”

He hadn't. Daryl had been up for most of the night agonizing about what he should tell Rick. But he only said,

“Yeah, fine.”

Rick frowned.

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

He kissed the dark bags under Daryl’s eyes.

“You need your sleep Darlin’. I don’t like it when you run yourself into the ground”

Daryl scoffed.

“You’re one to talk Grimes”

Rick smiled that soft smile that made his eyes light up.

“Come on, just rest your eyes a bit for me ok?”

He sat up and moved so his back was flush against a tree and patted his leg a teasing smile on his face. Daryl sighed and followed him laying his head back on Ricks lap. Rick’s hand found its customary place in Daryl’s hair and Daryl let out a sound that Rick insisted was a purr.

“Happy now?”, Daryl gave a half-hearted glare up at Rick.

“Immensely. Now you just rest your eyes.”

Rick pressed a kiss to Daryl’s forehead and Daryl closed his eyes. He marveled how easy it was to be this close to Rick. The man could calm him with just caress. And Rick was right. He needed to rest. Now was as good a time as any.  Within a few moments he was drifting off, Rick’s gentle murmurings easing him deeper and deeper until he started to dream.

_Daryl was laying on the floor. It was warm and oddly soft. A bed? He tried to get up but his movements were slow and sluggish. Like he had had a few too many._

_The bed dipped down with someone’s weight._

_‘Rick’, Daryl thought, ‘He must of just got off his watch’_

_“Rick?”_

_There was no answer a hand presses down on his chest. It wasn’t Rick’s hand Daryl realized with a jolt. It was too heavy and Rick never pinned him down like that. Daryl tries to get up but the man backhands him hard and the hand closes around his throat._

_“Don’t!”_

_His cry is cut off when the hand tighten shutting off his air._

_“Quit your whining boy”_

_No no no no no! He was dead he was…_

_His father flipped him easily onto his stomach and pressed down hard on the back of his neck, like he wasn't a full grown man._

_“Hold still or it will be worse for you. You ungrateful little brat!”_

_“Stop!”_

_His hands were useless and his strength had gone. He struggled feebly, not willing to give up. He couldn't let this happen again._

“Daryl! Daryl!! Wake up!!”

Daryl bolted upright out of the nightmare and scrambled away from the hands that touched him. He felt something close on his leg and kicked out hard at it. It let go with a grunt of pain.

“Daryl!”

The voice finally reached Daryl and he blinked the world back into focus. He was six feet away from where he had been and Rick was on his knees his left hand extended toward Daryl. His right hand was cradled against his chest.

“You with me?”

Daryl stares at Rick, realization blossoming over him. He had a nightmare and attacked Rick. Oh God.

“Daryl?”

Rick moves closer to Daryl slowly, trying not to spook him.

“It was just a nightmare, you’re ok now”

Daryl was trying to hold back the panic and the shame that burned through him. Everything was going perfect and he had freaked out anyway. Daryl was too damaged to make this work. Rick wouldn't want to put up with this.

Daryl had been so caught up in his downward spiraling thoughts that he didn't notice how close Rick had gotten until the man had gathered Daryl in his arms.

“Shhh its ok, it’s over now, I got you”

Daryl clung to Rick tightly and let out a dry sob into his jacket.

“Y-Your hand”

Rick shushed him gently and rocked him back and forth.

“It’s nothing Darlin’, not even broken. I’m fine”

Rick kissed his temple and kept murmuring to him that it was over and he was safe and it was ok. Daryl didn't remember starting to speak but he realizes he’s babbling almost incoherently about how his father was right and Rick shouldn't waste his time and he always messed things up.

Rick lets him rant and sob and keeps calling him Darlin’. It’s the affection in the voice that breaks down his walls and, just like with Merle, the truth came spilling out.

Rick listened to him calmly and held him as sobs racked his body. As the tide ebbed, Rick held him tighter. The solid strength in those arms almost made Daryl believe it would be ok as long as he stayed wrapped up in Rick’s embrace.

“Oh Daryl. I wish I could make it go away just like that but I can’t. We’ll work through it though, in time. As much time as you need Darlin’.”

We. Rick still said we. Even after his breakdown, Rick wasn’t leaving. He wondered absently if Rick was too stubborn or just too crazy to just leave.

“Daryl?”

Like always he couldn’t help but look up at the sound of that voice saying his name. Rick’s eyes were soft and a little misty and his thumb wipes away the wetness on Daryl’s cheek. Daryl closed his eyes and cupped that hand against his face, liking the feel of the skin-on-skin contact.

“Rick, I’m sorry about your hand. I...never wanted...”

His voice was hoarse and shaky like he’d been screaming. Maybe he had. Rick smiled and kissed Daryl on the lips.

“I told you, its fine. We've all had worse. You wanna stay here a bit longer or head home?”

“Home.”

He always followed his instinct before and right now every instinct he had was screaming to go home. The prison was the best home he had ever had. The only real home he’d ever had.

Rick nodded and stood pulling Daryl to his feet. Daryl stumbled on his shaky legs but Rick didn't let him fall. They gathered their weapons and Daryl’s kills and began heading back home. Rick’s arm around Daryl’s waist kept him upright and gave him something to hold onto.

They are just in sight of the prison when a thought strikes Daryl hard.

Rick had been way too calm when Daryl told him about his Pa. It was almost like he…

He stopped abruptly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliff hanger muhahahaha 
> 
> School is almost over so I should be updating more quickly


	9. Promise me

“You knew.”

Rick turned surprised at Daryl’s sudden stop.

“Daryl what…?”

“You knew about my Pa! You Fucking Knew!”

Rick didn’t flinch away but Daryl can see the truth written on his face.

“Daryl please listen to me!”

He’d trusted Rick. And all this time he knew about it all and he had never said anything. Rick tried to move closer to Daryl but Daryl shoved him away.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Rick stumbled back and caught himself on a tree.

“Daryl, Merle told me you father hurt you, that’s all. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t push you and make it worse.”

Merle told his secret? He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t tell a stranger about their family life.

‘But Rick’s not a stranger’ a little voice whispered inside his head.

“So you two have been going behind my back! What else haven’t you told me?! What gives you the right?!”

He knows that he shouldn’t be shouting. It could bring the walkers down on their heads but he can’t care right now. He feels betrayed and hurt and just fucking angry. He was the one who had been raped. Not them. Where the fuck do they get off deciding things for him?

He turned back to the woods.

“To hell with both a y’all!”

Rick didn’t touch him again but he move to stand in Daryl’s way.

“Get outta my way!”

“You will hear me out first.”

Daryl clenches his fists in anger and glares at Rick with eyes hard as ice.

“Merle told me because he was trying to protect you from me. I could have made things much worse. I didn’t tell you I knew because I didn’t know how. How the hell was I supposed to say I know what happened to you but I love you and want to help you heal?”

Daryl stared stunned at Rick. Did he just say…? Rick kept on talking.

“I won’t stop you if you need some time alone but please don’t go wondering in the woods alone. I’ll leave you alone in the prison if you need me to but please, I need you to be safe. I’m sorry I hurt you Daryl. I never meant to but please I’m begging you not to go wondering off.”

Rick’s eyes were so open and blue and Daryl was so tired. And Rick had said…did he really mean it or was it just something he said in the heat of the moment? The anger drained out of him and he swayed, his bow held loosely in his hand.

“Daryl?”

Rick looked like he wanted to reach out but he held himself back.

“Did you mean that? When you said that you…”

Daryl bites his lip as if he was trying bite down the words.

Rick stepped closer to Daryl.

“I love you Daryl. Can I…?”

He extends his hand towards Daryl but doesn’t touch him. He wouldn’t, not without Daryl’s ok. Daryl knew that automatically. He nodded and Rick pulled Daryl into his arms. Something in Daryl’s chest unclenches and he rests his head on Rick’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I didn’t’ tell you. Will you forgive me?”

Daryl pulls away from Rick’s embrace but lets Rick’s hands stay on his body.

“I know you was just trying to protect me. You and Merle both. But that aint your call to make.”

Rick nodded and opened his mouth to say something but the hissing snarl of a walker cut him off. His hand just touched his revolver when a bolt sprouted out of its head. He relaxed his stance and smiled at Daryl.

“You got fast hands”

Daryl grunts.

“Lucky I do or we’d be walker bait”

He resets the bow and scans the woods for more walkers. He is silent for a moment then he looks back at Rick.

“Just give me some time”

Rick nodded exhaling slowly.

“Ok”

He turns and follows Daryl back toward the prison.

* * *

 

They don’t go in the main gate. It always attracted too much attention from the walkers. They seem to remember where the entrance is and they always are crowded up against it. It is much easier to slip in a bolt hole near the back. Carol is on watch and spots them at once and within a few minutes everyone knows they are home.

Carl runs up to Rick and hugs him tight. Merle comes stomping around the corner and calls out.

“Get any game? Or were you too busy doing each other’s hair?”

Daryl kept his face blank and holds up the string of game.

“Help me skin em Merle.”

He leads Merle to an area inside the courtyard where they always cleaned the game. He sat across from Merle and started skinning his squirrels. Rick led the others into the prison casting a worried look over his shoulders at the brothers. Merle saw the look and grinned.

“Well it looks like somethin’s got Officer Friendly’s panties in a twist.”

“Merle.”

Daryl’s voice was quiet but something in in make Merle focus on him.

“What is it brother?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

He doesn’t look at Merle but he is hyperaware of him. His brother shifts a little in his seat.

“What you going on bout now little brother?”

“You told Rick. About him.” He met Merle’s eyes, “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

Merle didn’t look away. He held his ground but he did look a little ashamed.

“Daryl…”

Merle started then he stopped. He ground his teeth and took a deep breath.

“I had to.”

“You had to.”

Daryl repeats in a flat voice. He tries to reach for the anger that had flared so hot when Rick had told him that he knew but he couldn’t find it. He’s just felt drained.

“Yes I had to.”

Merle was angry now. His temper was always something to behold and it was never directly aimed at Daryl. That just wasn’t his way.

Merle stood, throwing down a half-skinned rabbit and pacing furiously back and forth.

“Rick woulda pushed too much and you wouldn’t of said anything to fucking stop him! He would hurt you and I won’t let you get hurt anymore! I had to protect you! I already failed you too much when you was little! I couldn’t fail you on this!”

“You can’t protect me from everything.”

“Watch me!”

Merle clenched his good hand into a fist, like the things that hurt Daryl were tangible and he was going to beat the fuck out of them. Daryl had to resist a smile. Merle was always like that. Leaping into something head first with no regard for what might happen. It’s why he was always in trouble in the old world.

In that moment he knew he had forgiven Merle. His big brother had always tried to protect him in his way and this time was no different. He made his voice harsh and clipped though. To make sure Merle got the point.

“Merle! Stop pacing and sit down”

He could practically hear the retort that Merle was dying to throw but the man sat back in his chair.

“You can’t make that decision for me. What I choose to tell people bout me is my call, not yours. You get that?”

The man nodded stiffly. Daryl studied him carefully.

“I want you to promise me that you aint gonna go behind my back again.”

Merle didn’t say anything for a long time. Daryl waited eyes steady. Eventually he lost patience.

“Merle!”

“Alright alright keep your shirt on little brother. I promise I’ll be up front with you with shit like that.  Happy?”

Daryl nodded and went back to his squirrel. It was enough for now. Merle was always good to his word when it came to Daryl. He was an asshole but he was still his brother. Merle went back to his rabbit. Even one handed he skinned it easily. They sat in companionable silence until they were done. Daryl gathered up the meat and had just taken a step towards the prison when Merle’s voice stopped him.

“Daryl?”

He turned.

“I weren’t the only one you’re mad at brother. What you gonna do bout Officer Friendly?”

Now that’s the killer question. Rick hadn’t been straight with him. He’d kept secrets from him. But like Merle, Rick had been trying to shield him from further pain. How would he have reacted if Rick had told him that he knew about the childhood abuse?

He knows exactly what he would have done.  He would have denied everything and pushed Rick away as far as he could. He would never have given Rick the chance to coax him out and work his way beneath Daryl’s armor.

“I don’t know”

Merle clapped him on the shoulder.

“Well I think you could do better than a fucking cop but Rick’s a good man. And if he makes you happy then I promise I won’t beat him up.”

Daryl gave Merle a half smile.

“Thanks”

They walked back together as the sun dips lower in the sky. Rick was waiting in there and he would have to think of what to say. But that could wait until after supper.


	10. Should of

Rick was sitting in his cell trying to coax Judith to eat some rabbit stew. Carol had found a high chair on a run a while ago and it made feeding Judith a lot easier. She wasn’t taking to the stew quite yet but Rick was a patient man when it came to his kids. Besides he could use the distraction.

Daryl had asked for time and he would give him time. He would give Daryl space too. As much as he could with them both in the prison. It had been two days since their fight and Daryl hadn’t said much to Rick beyond the daily necessities of life. After they had all eaten grilled squirrel that night Daryl had looked like he wanted to come talk to Rick but he headed off to take a watch instead.

What if Daryl wouldn’t forgive him? Did he even deserve forgiveness?

Judith knocked the spoon away from Rick’s slack fingers and it clattered onto the floor. He sighed.

“C’mon Jude,” he picked up the spoon wiped on his shirt and scooped up some broth, “It’s good try some”

She stubbornly refused to take it. She started banging her little hands on the tray and babbled “Dare Dare! Dare Dare!”

“I know sweetheart. I want him too”

He stroked her hair sighing.

“You gotta eat your dinner Jude. Daryl worked really hard to get that rabbit for you”

“Dare Dare!”

He passed a hand over his eyes. He could feel a headache coming on. He’d been getting a lot more headaches since…well since his fight with Daryl. The man was always a calming presence before but ever since they had started being together Daryl soothed away Rick’s tension and made everything more bearable.

Rick knew he needed an anchor so he wouldn’t slip away like he did when Lori died. Sure he had Carl and Judith as beacons of light to keep him moving forward but he couldn’t place the burden of keeping him grounded on their shoulders. Carl had too much on him already and Judith would be grown soon with her own trials to face.

Daryl was strong enough to make sure Rick didn’t slip away. And Rick was there for Daryl to lean on too. Together they were stronger and they could carry on.

Except that they weren’t together, at least for now.

Daryl hadn’t given him an answer one way or the other. Rick wouldn’t bother him for one. He would come in his own time when he had made up his mind. He hoped Daryl would forgive him. He didn’t want to think of life without the hunter in his arms now that he had gotten a taste.

He’d given Daryl his reasons, his excuses, to why he did what he did. Was it enough? No real point thinking about it now. He had said what he had said and it was in Daryl’s hands now. But he couldn’t stop running over the conversation in his mind. Playing it over and over. Searching for…something. He wasn’t sure what.

He sighed and ran his hair over Judith’s head.

“What am I gonna do sweetheart?”

“You can start by not being so tense. She’s feeding off you. It’s why she ain’t eatin’.”

Rick snapped his head around so fast he thought he might have given himself whiplash.

There he was leaning causally against the cell door, eyes soft blue in the dim room a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth.

Rick stood and swallowed.

“Daryl! How long you been standing there?”

“Long enough to know that you would be shit at hunting by yourself.”

Rick huffed out a laugh and Judith squealed

“Dare!”

Daryl steps in and Judith reaches up for him clearly wanting to be picked up. He lifts her easily and rests her on his hip.

“You been good for your daddy? I bet you have Lil Asskicker. You haven’t eaten your dinner yet though huh? We can’t have that”

Judith babbles back to Daryl in her baby talk and it brings a genuine smile to Rick’s mouth. Daryl’s so good with her.

“I’m starting to think she likes you better”

He teases. Daryl shakes his head.

“Nah Asskicker loves her daddy. She just likes a change every one and a while.”

Daryl bounces her a little and looks over at Rick his face a little more sober.

“We need to have us a talk.”

Rick nodded at sat near the foot of the bed. Daryl sat in the middle of the bed facing Rick. Judith snuggled against Daryl’s chest.

“I’ve thought a lot about what happened and what you said and I know ya didn’t mean to hurt me”

Rick watched him as he held Judith, his gaze on the little girl instead of Rick.

“And you did have the right to know about…it. I shoulda told ya on that run when we kissed.”

Judith crawls out of his lap and starts playing with a stuffed bear they had found for her. Rick frowns at Daryl.

“No Daryl this ain’t on you. I should of…”

Daryl cuts him off with a kiss. Rick’s eyes slide closes as his tension slides off him. Daryl pulls away just far enough to speak.

“We both should of. I want to just put it behind us and pick up where we left off”

Rick presses his forehead into Daryl’s. His voice came out low and a little rough.

“Does this mean you forgive me?”

Daryl chuckles

“Ain’t nothing to forgive. Just promise me you won’t pull that shit again.”

Rick presses another kiss to Daryl’s mouth.

“I promise.”

“Good.”

Daryl smiles one of his rare smiles and rests his hand on Rick’s chest. Judith chooses that moment to jump back into Daryl’s lap. Daryl flips her upside down over his shoulder and she squeals in delight. He stands and sets her in the high chair.

“C’mon Asskicker lets finish up that rabbit stew”

Rick watches the two of them with a contented smile on his face. Daryl has much better luck coaxing Judith to eat and he can see how much Daryl adores her. They all do of course. Judith is a symbol of hope for the future. But with Daryl it’s different. She may not be his kin but he looks after her like she is. Maybe one day she will be.

Rick notices that his headache seems to have faded away. The knowledge that Daryl still wanted to keep going burned hot in his chest. Making him forget about his aches and worries. He could get used to that.


	11. It would be rude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love when writer's block just fixes itself. I was stuck halfway through and then it just came to me.
> 
> Some sexy time coming in the next few chapters I promise!

Daryl couldn't decide if he was relieved or pissed that Merle knew about him and Rick. He knew for sure now that Merle was ok with him being with Rick but he was starting to get annoyed at his brother’s constant ribbing. He hadn’t told anyone else yet and Daryl was sure that they were being discrete but having his brother making jokes about them and their sex life was making him antsy.

Lack of sex life would probably be more accurate.  It’s not that Daryl didn’t want to get more intimate with Rick but whenever he thought about bringing it up with Rick, panic surges up in his chest and he can’t breathe. What if he freaks out and hurts Rick? What if he doesn’t figure out what to do and can’t get Rick off? The questions chase each other around Daryl’s head till he can’t think of anything else.

Rick can usually tell when he has an episode. He would wrap an arm around Daryl, pull him in close and ask, “You ok?”

And Daryl would shrug. He wasn’t ok and he wouldn’t lie to Rick and say he was. It wasn’t as bad as it had been when he was younger, before he had tamped down those memories into the back of his mind and never let anyone touch him. But it made everything much more complicated.

Rick never mentioned the fact that they never did much beyond kissing. The only thing that Rick ever said about it was “You’re running this show Darlin’.”

Daryl knew that Rick meant it and he wanted to move the show forward but he wasn’t sure how to. He would lie in his cell and think about Rick’s hands, his mouth, his tongue, and his cock. He hadn’t really seen it yet apart from glimpses when they were on the road. It wasn’t safe to wonder off alone to piss or wash so everyone had seen everything at some point or another. He’d felt it too when they were kissing, hard against his hip when they were pressed together with hardly an inch between them.

He fantasied about taking it in his hand and making Rick shudder. Maybe even using his mouth to make Rick come. He could do that for Rick. If he could just get started then he could just move through it. He would forget for a moment and that would be enough momentum to keep going.

Daryl sat in a corner of the common room making more bolts for his crossbow. He had the evening off and he needed something to distract him from his frustration. He had quite a sizable pile of new bolts when Merle took the seat across him. He picked up a bolt and examined it.

“Very fine work”, he holds up a bolt to his eye so he can see along the shaft, “Perfectly straight. Unlike you of course but still.”

Daryl glares at Merle and shoves him half-heartedly. Merle just grins.

“What do you want Merle?”

“Do I have to want something to come talk to my baby brother?”

Daryl flicks a wood shaving off his knife and shrugs. He doesn’t say anything for a while and Merle eventually breaks the silence first like Daryl knew he would.

“Alright alright. I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I want you tell Officer Friendly to stop making damn puppy dog eyes at you. And you too! You two damn lovebirds are so fucking sweet it’s gonna rot my teeth out.”

Daryl dropped the half-finished bolt in his hand and stared at Merle. His brother wasn’t into feelings and shit. But he was fairly good at reading people. Merle had told him once that it was a necessary skill in prison. And if he said that Daryl and Rick were in love, than they were. Rick hadn’t said it again since their fight and Daryl had been too angry to say it back and he hadn’t brought it up since they made up. In truth he had been afraid that he had imagined that part but if it was plain to see to Merle…

“Hey! Darleena? You with me?”

Daryl nodded absently. “Yeah I just…” he runs a hand through his hair and smiles.

“Oh no! There you go again with the sappy shit!”

Daryl picks up the bolt again and starts sharpening it carefully.

“Merle”, he says patiently, “If you don’t like talking bout me and Rick then don’t’ bring it up. But while we are on the subject, I need you to do something for me.”

“And what’s that pray tell?”

“I need you to take Rick’s shift on watch tonight. I have to talk to him.”

Merle snorts “And it can’t wait till tomorrow?”

“No. It can’t. Will you do it?”

Merle grumbles and rolls his eyes. Daryl lays the bolt on the completed pile and picks up a new one. It’s best to let Merle complain without interrupting him.

“Well…I suppose I could talk a watch tonight. I’m gonna have a word or two with Grimes first though. Make sure he understands the situation.”

“Merle!”

“Keep your shirt on brother, I gave you my word I wouldn’t kick the crap out of him.”

Daryl relaxes a little but not completely.

“What are you gonna say to him?”

Merle makes a tsking sound and shakes his head at Daryl.

“I can’t tell you little brother. This is between myself and our fearless leader.” He stands, “Where shall I tell your beloved to find you?”

“In his cell.” Daryl doesn’t even have to think about it. He was always more comfortable in Rick’s cell than in his own. He thinks it has something to do with the fact that he was always more at ease with Rick close.

Merle nodded and mussed Daryl’s hair with his good hand. He dodged when Daryl swiped at him and walked away chuckling.

Daryl tied the completed bolts together and placed them on the table they kept spare weapons and extra ammo just in case they needed it in a hurry. He made his way back to Rick’s cell trying to bite down on the nerves that were starting to creep up on him. He had a good idea what he wanted but wanting and getting were two very different things.

* * *

 

Rick didn’t hear Merle until the man was right behind him. When the man said “Evening officer” Rick spun, the rifle halfway to his shoulder before he saw it was Merle. He rubbed his eyes. He really needed to try and learn to listen better. Daryl was trying to teach him but that was obviously unsuccessful.

Merle hadn’t flinched when Rick had almost sighted on him. He was just too tough for that. He was also grinning like he knew some big secret.

“Can I help you Merle?”

Merle nodded.

“I do believe you can Grimes. I got a message for you. But first I wanna talk to you. Mono a mono.”

Rick had turned to stare into the darkness that was the fence line but at Merle’s words he turned back.

“It that so. Bout what?”

“Bout Daryl. What else do we have in common?”

Rick nodded in acknowledgement and waited.

“He’s always been sweet, my baby brother”

Rick blinked. This was not what he expected from this conversation.

“When he was bout 6, he found this little dog in the woods. Scrawny little thing. Daryl called it Teddy. He fed it scraps and he kept it from our Pa for a while. But he found the stupid dog. At first he said that Daryl did a good job catching it and nursing it back to health. He told Daryl he could keep the dog in the house and maybe train him to be a huntin’ dog. I was in juvie at the time so I couldn’t warn Daryl what the old man was doing. He let the dog say in the house for a about a week. Then he changed his tune. He started saying how the dog was useless and Daryl was stupid for bringing it home. He said a hunter’s got not business keeping a pet. Then he told Daryl if he didn't kill it right now, he was gonna skin it alive.”

Rick tensed, glad once again that Will Dixon was dead. If he would have met this bastard…

“Daryl didn’t do anything till Pa went to get his hunting knife. My brother killed his dog so it wouldn't be tortured to death.”

Rick swallowed down the sick feeling that had risen in his gut. Oh Daryl.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Merle met his eyes and they were cold and hard as ice.

“My brother has had people yanking his chain since he was born, leading him one way then changing direction so fast he can’t stay standing. Fuck I even did that to him. I abandoned him when I got sent to prison and again when I enlisted. He don’t deserve that. And I won’t let it happen anymore. He picked you Grimes and he hasn't let anyone in like that for a long time. I want you to swear to me, on the lives of your children, that you won’t fuck with him like that.”

Rick could hear the threat behind the word. If you hurt my brother I will fuck you up.

“I swear on the lives of my children that I will never hurt Daryl.”

He never broke eye contact with Merle. He meant every word and wanted Merle to see it in his eyes. Merle nodded and jerked his head at the door.

“Good, now get going Sheriff.”

Rick didn’t understand. “What?”

“You heard me. It’d be rude to keep him waiting in your cell all night”


	12. The Best and Most Terrifying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Damn writer's block!

Daryl sat on the middle of the bed flipping his hunting knife idly in his hand. The wait was making him anxious. What the hell was Merle gonna say to Rick? He bit his lip trying to distract himself. Maybe this was too impulsive. Maybe Rick wouldn’t go for it. He was starting to think maybe he should just forget the whole thing when steady tread of Rick’s boots announced his presence.

He set the knife on the side table and stood just as Rick stepped into the room. Those deep blue eyes found his and the knot in his stomach eased a little. His voice was stronger than he thought it was gonna be.

“Hey”

Rick’s smile was dimmer than usual. “Hey yourself”

He crossed the room and pulled Daryl into his arms. Daryl reached up and kissed him. He could feel something was bothering Rick and for a moment his plan was forgotten.

“What’s wrong?”

Rick shook his head and rested his head against Daryl’s.

“It’s nothing. Merle said you were waiting for me.”

Daryl frowned. “Don’t try and change the subject. What else did Merle say to you?” His voice was firm. Whatever Merle had said to Rick he wouldn’t let it come between them.

Rick pulled back and stroked Daryl’s face. “He just wanted to make sure I wasn’t yanking your chain.”

Daryl glared “That’s a bit too vague for my brother”. Rick sighed. He could see that Daryl wouldn’t let this go but he would much rather kiss Daryl and forget the whole thing.

“He told me…bout the dog you had when you were a kid and what happened to it.”

Daryl blinked in confusion then the he remembered. Christ he thought he had forgotten that. Rick pulled him close and pressed his lips to Daryl’s ear.

“I’m so sorry Daryl.”

Daryl snorted.

“Bout what? I don’t recall you being there at the time. What could you possibly be sorry for?”

Rick huffed out a breath. “I just…I’m sorry that he made you...”

Daryl shook his head. “Of all the things he made me do, that one don’t give me nightmares. So let it go. Merle shoulda never brought it up.”

Daryl nuzzled at Rick’s jaw trying to distract him. When Rick didn’t answer Daryl turned Rick’s head so he could kiss him. He murmured against his lips,

“That was a long time ago Rick. I’d much rather be doing other things than talking bout that right now”

 Rick sank into the kiss and let Daryl pull him onto the bed. They stayed like that a long time just kissing, hands gently exploring. Daryl’s hands slid down to rest on Rick’s shoulders and pressed until the man lay flat on his back. Rick was a little surprised, Daryl hadn’t taken the lead like this before, but he kept kissing him, arms looped around his neck.

Daryl straddles Rick’s hip and pulls away for a moment panting and leaning his forehead against Rick’s, trying to gather his courage.

“Not that I’m complaining but where did this come from?”

Rick stroked Daryl’s hip and grinned up at him. Daryl felt a flush crawl up his neck as Rick’s warm eyes gazed up at him.

“I just wanted…I thought I’d…”

Rick pulls him back down and kisses him. Daryl was grateful. He had always been better at asking with his body than with his words. His traced his fingers over the buttons of Rick’s shirt and slowly started undoing them. Rick reached up to help but Daryl smacked his hands away. Rick laughed and lay back, letting Daryl slowly undo his shirt exposing more skin. He pushes the shirt off Rick’s shoulders and sits back, hands hovering over Rick’s bare chest.

“Can I…?”

Rick smiles, “Yeah, you can touch me.”

Rick’s skin is warm when Daryl lays his palm flat over the center of Rick’s chest. He can feel Rick’s heartbeat, strong and a little fast. He glances up into Rick’s eyes and the man’s pupils are dilated with arousal. He glances back down at Rick’s chest, hesitantly stroking down to his stomach and over to his sides. The skin is unmarked for the most part, a few scars, nothing like his own skin. He pushed that thought away. Best not think about that right now. His rough hands trace back up to Rick’s ribs. They show more than he likes. Rick’s always giving his share of the food to his kids or someone else.

Daryl leaned forward and kissed Rick briefly on the lips before working his way down his jaw to his neck. Rick moaned softly as Daryl kissed and nipped at his throat, tilting his head up to give Daryl more room.

Daryl took a breath to steady himself and started laying a trail with his mouth across Rick’s collarbone and down his chest. Rick has to work to keep his hands off Daryl. He wanted to stroke Daryl’s hair and feel the rippling muscles in his shoulders but he also didn’t want Daryl to think that Rick wanted him to do something specific. Rick groaned when Daryl’s lips brushed past a nipple. He hasn’t had hands or a mouth on his body for a long time and he couldn’t help but arch into the touch.

Daryl smiled against Rick’s ribs, gaining confidence at the sounds that escape his partner’s mouth. Rick licks his lips, feeling himself go hard as Daryl’s lips slide lower past his navel, hands resting on Rick’s hips.

Daryl pauses at Rick’s belt and reaches for it glancing quickly up at Rick watching him intently then back down. He can see Rick’s cock pressing against the fabric of his jeans. When he presses his palm to it Rick hisses out a quiet “Fuck”

He swallows and starts to undo the belt. When he starts to pull it free the metal clicks together, loud in the silence and suddenly Daryl’s not in the prison anymore.

_His Pa fists his hair hard and pulls Daryl’s head down into his lap as the other undoes his belt. Daryl struggles wanting it all to stop, but his Pa twists is grip and snares “Open your fucking mouth!”_

Daryl sucks in a breath and tightens his hand on Rick’s hip and tries to think past it. He knows it’s not real, he knows, he knows. He tries to push it away and stay here in this moment with Rick but he can’t, he can’t breathe…

“Daryl?”

Rick is sitting up reaching for him. Daryl moves away from Rick’s crotch and into Rick’s arms, trying to get away from the vivid memory. Rick wraps him up tight and lets him shake and hyperventilate.

“I-I can’t! I’m sorry! I just…please!”

Rick shushes him and rubs circles on his back.

“Hey Shhh…You don’t have to do anything Daryl…Shhh you’re here with me…It’s ok, I got you”

When his breathing evens out, Daryl feels his face burn in shame. He disentangles himself from Rick and sits on the side of the bed, head in his hands. So much for his fucking plan.

 Rick moves to sit behind him, his front pressed against Daryl’s back, slow enough that Daryl could pull away if he wanted to. He didn’t. Rick didn’t speak, giving a Daryl a moment to compose himself. When he spoke it was barely audible.

“I want to…you know…”

Rick placed a kiss on the back of Daryl’s neck in answer, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“But when I…the belt, it just…I just couldn’t”

Rick’s hand found Daryl’s and squeezed.

“Don’t worry about it Darlin’. We don’t have to rush this.”

Daryl twisted so he could kiss Rick, one hand reaching back to cup the back of his neck.

“I know but I just fucking hate it that I want to but can’t.”

Rick laughed and shook his head. “You are the most impatient man I have ever met. We’ll just take this slow and we’ll be ok.”

Daryl turned so he could kiss Rick properly. They were so close Daryl was almost in Rick’s lap. They eased back into the deep slow kissing that Daryl was well used to by now. It was a while before they broke apart and Daryl rested his head against Rick’s shoulder and let out a breath.

“We should get some sleep”, Rick murmured into Daryl’s hair.

Daryl nodded in agreement. He knows should get up and head back to his cell but it’s warm and comfortable in Rick’s cell, in Rick’s arms. He was so steady and Daryl needed that, craved it really. Especially right now when he is still a bit shaky. Rick just had a way of soothing Daryl more than anything else in his life. The man could coax him back into reality when memories threatened to overwhelm him. He’d never trusted someone like this before. He loved this man. And fuck if that wasn’t the best and most terrifying thing that had ever happened to him.

Daryl decided right then and there that he couldn’t spend another night away from this. They had so little make them happy in this world, he couldn’t waste what he had.

“You’re right” His voice was not as shaky as he thought it would be, “We need to get some rest”

He nudged Rick gently and they lay back on the cot, Daryl nuzzling against Rick’s chest. Rick was a little surprised at Daryl’s boldness after his breakdown, but didn’t miss a beat. He wrapped an arm around Daryl’s waist and he settled into a more comfortable position with Daryl half laying on him.

“Rick?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you...for being here with me…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Rick chuckled and pressed a kiss to his head “You don’t have to thank me for being here Darlin’. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else .”

They were quite for a long time, Rick idly stroking Daryl’s hair. Daryl knew that they could just go to sleep and maybe he could try saying it tomorrow or even the next day. But what if they never got tomorrow. What if it all disappeared and Rick slipped through his fingers and he never said anything.

His voice was low, like he was afraid that he would disturb the easy silence in the room

“Rick?”

Rick’s eyes were closed, his voice like a rumble under Daryl’s ear. “Mmmm?”

“I love you”

Rick’s hand stilled and he opened his eyes to look down at where Daryl was curled into his chest. Daryl could hear the smile in Rick’s voice as he reached down and tilted Daryl’s face up for a soft kiss.

“I love you too”

Daryl was smiling when they broke apart and just felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over him. He laid his head back down on Rick’s chest just over his heart. Rick’s hand settled onto Daryl’s back and Daryl could still tell his was smiling that warm, light-up-the-room kind of smile.

They fell asleep like that, entwined in each other’s embrace. Daryl had never slept as deeply or as peacefully as he did that night.


	13. Not the way I would have wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soo sorry about the long wait. Life just happened but I'm back now and there is more on the way ^.^

Daryl woke at sunrise like he always did and for a moment he was disoriented. He wasn’t in his cell and someone was pressed against his back. He almost started to panic until he heard Rick’s soft snore against the back of his neck. He let out a breath and let himself enjoy the warmth of the body pressed against his back, Rick’s arm draped across his waist.

Carefully so not to disturbed the other man’s sleep, he turned in Rick’s arms so he could see his face. Rick was starting to get grey in his hair as well as in his beard. Not too surprising, they lived a stressful life after all. Daryl kinda liked it. It made Rick’s eyes even more blue.

Rick grunted in his sleep and tightened his arms around Daryl. That made Daryl smile a bit. It was like Rick didn’t want to let go of him even in his sleep. Daryl had never slept with anyone before like this. Had never woken up in someone else’s bed. He found himself wanting to do a lot of things with Rick that he had never done with anyone else before. The thought made his stomach do a little backflip.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of light footsteps in the hall outside. He didn’t have time to even think of a plan when Carl poked his head into the cell with Judith on his hip.

“Hey Da…”

He broke off when he saw the two of them on Rick’s bed, tangled up in each other’s arms. Daryl was frozen in Rick’s arms, the other man still snoring lightly.

“Oh! Wow I…I’ll just uh come back later.”

He ducked back out and the room was silent again. Daryl blinked in shock, trying to process what had just happened. Carl had seen them in bed together. His mind started to race beyond his control. What would Carl say? What if he thought they were disgusting? Rick would choose Carl over him if it came down to it. Carl was his son after all, it was only natural. Would he have to leave? If he had to, Merle would come with him so he wouldn’t be completely alone. It might break him to never see Rick again but if Rick told him to go, he would.

Rick stirred under him as if he sensed Daryl’s distress.

“Mmmm Daryl?”

Daryl swallowed and decided to bite the bullet right away.

“Carl saw us.”

Rick rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“What?”

“Carl. He came in to talk to you and he **saw** us”

“Oh”

Rick buried his face in Daryl’s hair and exhaled slowly. “Did he say anything?”

Daryl shook his head, body tight as a bow string. “He just left. I-I should go.”

He moved to get up but Rick pulled him back down. “Easy there. It’s too early to get up. Let me enjoy our first night together.”

“But Carl...”

“Let me deal with Carl. Please stay.”

Daryl lay his head back down on Rick’s chest and let Rick stroke his hair. He began to relax despite the churning feeling in his gut. Rick rubbed his back trying to sooth him further. Daryl let him continue for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. Eventually he lifted his head and looked at Rick.

“You are way too fucking calm right now”

Rick laughed “It’s not the way I would have wanted to tell him but it’s done now and there is not much we can do about it. He will understand once we explain it to him”

“He will?”

Daryl’s voice was small and almost hopeful, like he wanted to believe Rick but couldn’t quite bring himself to. Rick nodded.

“Yeah he’s a good kid. And you’re family to him. We probably just caught him by surprise, that’s all. No one wants to catch their parents in bed with anyone”

Daryl gave a grunt and leaned toward Rick for a kiss. Rick obliged him eagerly. The dark thoughts began to ease as Rick kissed him and stroked his neck. When they pulled apart Daryl was a little breathless.

“Is kissing always your first solution for everything?”

Rick chuckled “It worked didn’t it?”

Daryl rolled his eyes. Rick pecked him on the lips before pushing slowly to his feet.

“I’ll see you later Darlin’. I’m gonna go find Carl”

Daryl felt his chest tighten a little. “Do you…Should I come with you to…”

Rick shook his head and gave Daryl a smile.

“Let me talk to him first”

The hunter nodded and let Rick pull him to his feet. Rick seemed to be confident that he could talk to Carl. Daryl knew he had been more than a little irrational to think that Rick would make him leave but he was still relieved to know for sure that Rick still wanted him around.

* * *

 

Rick found Carl out on the fences putting down walkers through the chain link. He hadn’t expected to find him out here but after checking his cell, the mess hall, the nursery that they had made for Judith and the commons, he had decided to look outside.

His son was armed with a crowbar and had already put down plenty of the dead already. Rick picked up a piece of rebar and stepped up beside his son.

“Mind if I join you?”

Carl glanced over at Rick then stabbed the crowbar into the eye of a snarling walker. He shruged. They work in silence for a while. When most of them were put down, Rick turned to Carl.

“Son, I think we should have a little talk.”

“Do we have to?”

Rick nodded and sighed.

“Yeah we do.”

Carl stabbed a stray walker and nodded jerkily. Rick thought Carl would start off slow, but he cut straight to the point, not wasting words.

“So are you and Daryl together now?”

Rick couldn’t resist a small smile. Daryl was blunt like that too so he shouldn't be surprised that Carl had picked it up too.

“Yeah we are”

“Are you gay then?”

“You know, I’m not really sure. I only ever saw Daryl like that.”

Carl turned and looked him dead in the eye. His words were meant to sound hard, but he sounded a little lost instead.

“What about Mom? Did you care about her at all?”

The ache in his chest that never really went away throbbed painfully as the image of Lori flashed through his mind in her white dress. He lets out a slow breath and rubs a hand over his eyes

“Carl, I loved her. And I’ll always regret that I never fixed things with her. She was my wife, mother of my kids. Of course I care about her.”

Carl held his gaze for a moment then looked down at his hands. They stood in silence for a while.

“Carl?”

He glanced up at his dad, looking younger than he had in a long time.

“You have to understand…I’ve been alone for a long time. Everything I cared about was taken away. All I have left is you and Judith”, He looked out past the fence not really seeing it, “…and Daryl too. He makes me happy son. I love him.”

He glanced back at Carl and laid his hand on his son’s shoulder, squeezing gently before letting go.

“Can you understand that?”

He waited for Carl to say something, tension twisting in his gut.

Finally Carl nodded slowly.

“I think I understand”

The relief that Rick felt was almost palpable. He pulled his son into his arms and held him tight. Carl hugged him back, resting his head against his dad’s chest. Rick would have never admitted it to Daryl but he had been worried about how Carl might react. He was one of the only people Rick had left and he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

When they let go Carl nodded his head toward the prison.

“I think the fence will be ok for a while. And I kinda skipped breakfast so…”

Rick chuckles. “I’m sure they still have some left in the mess hall.”

They headed back together. Before they reached the gates Carl stops Rick with a hand on his arm.

“Dad? Are you gonna get all mushy in public with Daryl now?”

Rick smiled and shook his head.

“Nah, that’s private and we haven’t told anyone else yet. Well except for Merle.”

Carl let out a breath of relief. “Good because it’s all fine that you guys are together I guess, but you’re my dad and I really don’t need to see that.”

Rick nodded understanding. “Fair enough son.”

Carol handed them each a bowl of hot soup when they arrived in the mess hall. They took it gratefully. Daryl was sitting in a corner Judith on his lap. The toddler was talking animatedly to Daryl in her baby way while he attempted to feed her. It wasn’t going spectacularly. Judith caught sight of her daddy and started bouncing and wiggling, trying to reach him.

Rick wrapped his arm around Judith and lifted her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Daryl sat back gratefully. The soft smile he wore faded a little when he caught sight of Carl behind Rick. His sharp eyes flicked back and forth between them, searching for something. Carl completely ignored the awkward moment and plopped down next to Daryl. He dug into the soup not paying any attention to the puzzled look Daryl leveled at him. The hunter glanced at Rick eyebrows raised. Rick just gave Daryl a smile and rocked his daughter in his arms.

Daryl shook his head and muttered something about the whole Grimes family being out of their damn minds before settling back and finishing his own soup. When Rick sat down next to him Daryl shifted his weight so he was pressed against Rick’s side. It was a small movement but in it Rick felt Daryl’s support and his steadiness.

He smiled into Judith’s neck and listened to the happy murmuring of his people. He had his son, his daughter and Daryl by his side. What more could he ask for?


	14. What More Could I Ask For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again I am sorry about the delay in posting.

Daryl woke in a cold sweat with phantom fingers closing around his neck. For a few heartbeats he was paralyzed, unable to breath, unable to move. He was certain he could smell the liquor scent that clung to his Pa like cologne. He was sure that he could feel the hot breath against the back of his neck and he fought down the urge to tear himself away and run. Any sudden movement might wake the old man up, and then he would be in for it.

The man was pressed against Daryl’s back with one arm around his waist and the other tucked under his head. Daryl was just wondering if the old man was unconscious enough for Daryl to slip away, when man let out a soft contented sound. It wasn’t a sound he had ever heard his dad make before. Then his brain caught up to his panic.

It was Rick. Just Rick.

He slowly curled a hand against the arm Rick had draped across his waist and cradled it to his chest. He let out a shaky exhale, trying to get his heart rate under control. He was glad he hadn’t woken Rick with his nightmare. He had a few times in the last few weeks. Rick said that he didn’t mind, but Daryl did. The man hardly got enough sleep as it was, and besides this shouldn’t still be happening.

He had been a kid when his old man had hurt him. He was close to 40 years-old now, although he wasn’t sure of the exact age. Things like that didn’t matter too much anymore. But he should be over this by now.

He had a roof over his head, he put food on the table, he had Rick as a partner, and people around him that gave a shit what happened to him. What more could he ask for?

He felt his stomach roll dangerously, like he was gonna puke. He closed his eyes, and willed himself not to be sick. It was over, nothing was gonna happen. The walls of the cell shrank until he was close to hyperventilating again. He needed to get out of here.

Careful not to wake Rick, Daryl eased out of his embrace and pulled on his boots. With his crossbow slung over his back he slipped out of the cell, out of the prison and into the courtyard. It was still dark outside, but he knew it was closer to dawn than midnight. Maybe about an hour or two.

He let out a breath that almost sounded like a sob. His hands were trembling and he clenched them in frustration. This can’t be happening again. Suddenly even the chain-link fences of the prison were too much. Daryl had to get out of here.

 He picked up a pack from the stash they kept near the inner gate. Carol had thought it was a good idea to have gear ready to go, just in case. The pack would have water, some dried meat, bandages, rope and an extra knife.

Daryl headed for the bolt-hole cut into the fence, needing to keep moving, it was always easier when he moved, but he paused. Rick would worry if he just took off. He might just come tearing after Daryl, and he could get hurt like that. If Rick got hurt chasing after him… No, he wouldn’t let that happen.

Daryl considered going back and telling Merle but no, that wouldn’t do. Merle would want to come with him, and Daryl needed to be alone. Besides, he didn’t think he could hold it together if he stayed within the prison much longer.

Daryl’s eyes lighted on the watch tower where he could just make out the outline of someone on guard. He turned and headed to the tower. If he remembered right Glenn had the watch tonight.

He climbed the steps quickly, and sure enough it was Glenn. The man turned in surprise, looking tired but vigilant, with his rifle slung over one shoulder and a machete at his hip.

“Daryl? What are you doing here? You’re not on watch tonight.”

Daryl shook his head, trying to seem casual. “I’m heading out on a hunt and just wanted to let you know so you don’t take me for a walker.”

Glenn smiled as he re-adjusted the rifle on his shoulder.

“Good thinking. Hey”, he leaned a bit closer, eyebrows furrowed in concern, “Are you ok? You don’t look so good.”

Daryl stepped back, turning away from Glenn so he couldn’t see the tremors in his hands or the edges of the nightmare in his eyes. He started back down the stairs as he called over his shoulder, trying to make his voice as steady as possible.

“Yeah I’m fine. I’ll be back before sundown.”

“Okay, be careful out there.” Glenn called after him, a hint of worry coloring his voice. Daryl raised a hand in acknowledgment and was out the door before Glenn could say anything else.

When he was outside the fences, he felt the panic ease a little. He always felt most at home in the woods, not cooped up in a cage. This was exactly what he needed. He moved forward, already easing into the hunter’s tread he used when in the woods. He paused just long enough to cast a glance back at the prison. Guilt gnawed at his insides when he thought of Rick waking up to him gone. But he would understand. He had to.

* * *

 

Rick woke slowly and stretched. His hand reached out to Daryl’s side of the bed and found it empty. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Daryl was always getting up earlier than him. He probably just headed down to get a bite to eat and get started on the chores.

On the way downstairs, he ran into Beth who was struggling with a squirming Judith. He took the wriggling toddler off Beth and laid a kiss on Judith’s fine hair. Beth smiled gratefully and they headed down to breakfast. Rick scanned the faces gathered around the stew that was simmering for breakfast. Daryl wasn’t among them.

An uneasy feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. He pushed it away. Daryl was probably outside; in the guard tower or walking the fences or something.  He forgot about the unease as he listened to Carl talk animatedly about a comic that Michonne had gotten for him on a run last week.

The lull was shattered when Carol walked into the mess hall carrying two gallons of water from the barrels in the yard. She glanced around the room before frowning. She turns to Rick, setting the water on a table.

“Is Daryl sleeping in?”

“No, he was already gone when I went to check on him.”

The lie was a small one, but Daryl was a private man and Rick didn’t want everyone to know their business before they agreed to tell them. Carol wasn’t fooled for a second, but she let it go. They had more urgent matters to deal with.

“Well he isn’t outside. I just checked.”

Rick stood, arms cradling his baby.

“Has anyone seen Daryl this morning?”

His voice was carefully controlled, but it was loud in the suddenly silent room. People were shaking their heads, glancing at each other then back at Rick.

Ice filled the pit of Rick’s stomach as the silence stretched. It was only a few seconds, but it felt like longer.

How could Daryl have gone missing right under his nose? What if he had had another nightmare and just wandered off? If he wasn’t in his right state of mind, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself. Anything could happen.

He handed Judith to Beth, needing his hands free. Hershel stood with some difficulty.

“Maybe he went to check the snares. There’s no need to panic.”

Rick shook his head, keeping his voice steady. These people would feed off his emotions. If he was calm, they would be calm.

“He wouldn’t have just disappeared like that. Michonne, Tye, Maggie! Check the tombs. Carl, Sasha, Carol! We’ll check outside. Everyone else! Check the cell blocks, the showers, anyplace you can think of. He has to be somewhere.”

Rick had taken two steps toward the door when Glenn walked through it. He froze as the sight of all the intense expressions, people picking up weapons and Rick striding towards the door, face hard and jaw clenched

“What the…?”

“Glenn! I know you are tired from your watch, but we need all the help we can get. Daryl’s missing and we have to find him.”

Glenn blinked.

“No he’s not.”

Rick stopped dead and turned on him.

“What?”

Glenn stood his ground against what felt like waves of anger rolling off the leader.

“He left on a hunt a few hours ago.”

Rick let out a breath, relived but then he was furious again. Why would Daryl just take off like that? Without saying anything.

Merle had sidled into the room as Glenn spoke. Rick didn’t notice him until he spoke.

“Did my brother say anything to you?”

Glenn nodded. “Yeah, he said he’d be back before sundown. Rick, I assumed he told you. I should’ve…”

Rick waved his words away. This wasn’t on Glenn. “No one could have stopped him.”

He turned and gestured for the people he called on to sit back down. He strode out the door and stood in the courtyard.

‘This is on me,’ Rick thought as he tried to control the worry and the anger. Daryl was his partner. If something had triggered him, Rick should have seen it and done something. Maybe Daryl thought he couldn’t come to Rick. He had been a bit distant for the last few days, ever since Carl had found out about them. Daryl hadn’t allowed much physical contact beyond sleeping in the same bed and a brief kiss or two.

Rick tried to think if he had said something to drive Daryl away. If he had, and if Daryl got hurt because of it…No, he couldn’t even think of that now.

He walked the fences checking for weak points. He couldn’t stop himself from glancing at the forest line every few minutes, hoping to see his hunter stride back home, safe and sound. He knew it was stupid. Daryl had told Glenn he would be back by sundown. And there was no point to searching before then. But he couldn’t help it.

Rick stayed outside most of the day doing chores, working on the cars, gathering water and boiling it for storage, even taking a watch though he wasn’t scheduled for it. Eventually he had to go inside. There were runs to plan, guns to clean, people to lead. It was a little easier not to think about Daryl outside the safety of the prison walls when he had a task in front of him that required his absolute attention. Whether it was solving a dispute about living quarters in cell block A, or listening to Carol’s proposal for a class to train the children how to fight, or just feeding Judith. He welcomed all of it.

* * *

 

But sunset came and went, with no sign of the man.

Rick was standing in the guard tower unable to stay inside. Carl wanted to wait with him, but Rick sent him back to watch over his sister. He couldn’t worry about Carl too right now.

He suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He had his revolver, his knife and had taken two steps towards the fence before Merle’s voice pulled him up short.

“Where you think you’re going?”

Merle was leaning against the base of tower, watching the fence line. He looked so calm, despite Daryl being missing, and that just infuriated Rick.

“I’m gonna find Daryl!”

“And how are you gonna do that Grimes?”

He pushed off the wall and stalked up to Rick, eyes hard.

“Are you gonna just fucking wander in the dark, calling his name?!”

Rick didn’t have an answer to that.

“You fucking think I don’t want him back as bad as you do? You think if there was any way to track him, I would be here!!”

Rick held his ground but Merle had a point. Rick didn’t have a plan. Merle leaned in close and his voice was different somehow, like he was talking to a wounded animal.

“Listen to me Grimes. There ain’t no way to find him in the dark. All we’d do is muck up any trail he left and get lost. We’ll go at first light.”

He strode away from Rick back to the prison without another word. Rick stared into the night, a part of him hoping that if he looked hard enough he would be able to see his lover.

He knew Merle was right.

He couldn’t find Daryl on his own, but the thought of leaving Daryl out there alone was unbearable.

But he knew that Daryl would kick his ass if he found out that Rick had gone after him without a plan, leaving his kids and everyone else to fend for themselves.

Daryl was a tough son-of-a-bitch. He probably had to go the long way around a herd of walkers or something. He was probably up in some tree, sleeping like a baby.

Rick rubbed his eyes. He needed to sleep. He knew that. But he also knew that he couldn’t. It was just like when Carl was born. It had been a long labor before the doctors finally performed a C-section and they had told him he should catch a few hours of rest. But he just couldn’t sleep until he had held his son in his arms. If something had happened while he slept, he would never forgive himself.

It was gonna be a long night.


	15. Careless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! An update! School has been kicking my ass but I haven't given up!

He should have seen it coming. How could he be so careless? He should have at least heard the fucking thing. Bears were not known for being quiet after all. Daryl staggered to the nearest tree and leaned on it, his breath coming in shallow gasps.

Every step reopened the wound that stretched from his stomach down over his hip. It wasn’t deep, and he had bandaged it as best he could, but it hadn’t done much to stop the flow of blood. His left arm throbbed dully in time with his heart. There were long cuts from the claws that stretched down the outside of his arm and they hurt like a bitch. But the pain was eclipsed by the greater wound in his side.

Careless. Just fucking careless

****Earlier******

After hours of trekking, Daryl had finally caught the trail of a buck. There were fresh signs everywhere and Daryl felt his heart pounding in his ears. A buck would bring a lot of meat to the table. It was close to sundown and he needed to head home soon, but it was the only sign of game he had seen all day. It was almost another 30 minutes before he caught sight of the animal. It was drinking from a creek when he sighted on it. Daryl let out a slow breath, aimed carefully and pulled the trigger.

The crossbow thrummed and the bolt caught the deer in its chest. It staggered and fell. He couldn’t help but smile a little. He felt a whole lot better than this morning. When he brought back the deer, he would talk to Rick and he would explain himself. It would be easier to talk now that the nightmare was half forgotten. He knelt, reaching for his knife to field dress his kill.

It was then that he should have known. The smell hit him first. A heavy, musty scent that invaded his nose and made him glance up. He didn’t think much of it at first. The woods were full of strange scents, most of them unpleasant.

It wasn’t until he heard the huffing growls that his blood ran cold. He turned and saw it coming out of the trees. The bear must have been 600 pounds at least. Its black shaggy pelt was matted and tangled, and the smell was overpowering. He must have wandered into its territory and it wanted the damn deer.

Daryl was too close to just back away and let it have the deer. If he ran now, it would chase and kill him.

It stood up and let out a roar. He dropped the crossbow as he stood. He didn’t have time to reload and besides, what could an arrow do against that? He drew the hand gun from the holster at his hip, and brought it up just as the beast started towards him.

The first two shots went wide, and the bear was closing fast. The next shot caught it in the shoulder and then it was on him. The bear swiped at him with a massive paw. He tried to dodge it, throwing up his arm to protect his face. The claws raked down his arm and sent him spinning to the ground, away from the bear. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered the pain in his arm. There wasn't time to dwell on it. He managed to keep a hold of the gun, knowing it was his only chance, aimed it at the snarling animal, and fired.

His shot glanced off its hide, but the next one, by sheer dumb luck, caught it in the eye. The bullet hit it mid-leap and it was dead before it hit the ground. Only it didn’t land on the ground. It landed on Daryl. The grunt that he made as the wind got knocked out of him, turned into a wordless cry of pain as its outstretched claws pierced his side.

Daryl lay stunned for a moment, trying to breathe. He had to get up see how bad the wound was. His legs were pinned, and it took a great deal of wriggling to get out from under its crushing weight. Every move he made pulled at the wound, and sent spasms of pain throughout his body. He wasn’t sure how long he struggled, but eventually he was free. He curled on his side, his hand pressing against the wound.

He lay there for a while, trying not to whimper. The pain was intense and he could feel blood trickling through his fingers. He had to get up. All the noise would attract any walkers in the area, and he was in no fit state to defend himself. Slowly Daryl pulled the pack off his back and pull his shirt off as well, trying not to aggravate the gash more. He dug the bandages out. He balled up the shirt and pressed it against his side, gritting his teeth against the pain. The bandages were harder, because he had to twist a little to tie them off.

It wasn’t enough and he knew it, but it was all he had.

It took every ounce of willpower to stand and start walking. He would make it back and they would patch him up like always. He clung to that thought and pushed through the pain.

He had managed to walk back in the general direction of home for almost an hour, but his strength couldn’t last forever.

****Present****

His legs shook and he slid down the tree, his back resting against the base. The shirt and the bandages were stained red, and he was dizzy from the blood loss.

It was pitch dark and he wasn’t sure what direction he was going, so it was good he had stopped anyway. He just needed a little rest, that’s all. Just a few minutes, and he would get back up and then…

Daryl suddenly realized that he had left his bow behind. How could he be so careless? It didn’t matter anyway. He couldn’t reset it, let alone aim and shoot it. He had the gun, but he couldn’t lift that either. Hell, he could barely lift his head.

This certainly wasn’t his day. Maybe he deserved it. If he hadn’t been such as pussy, and run off when he got a little scared, he would be home. Safe in his bed with Rick curled behind him.

But this was an okay place to die. It was quiet and he could see the stars through the trees.

Once, a few weeks ago, Rick had insisted on taking Daryl on a date. He said it was what people did when they were in love. He led Daryl up to the roof that night, and they laid on a blanket, entwined in each other, watching the stars slowly cross the night sky. Daryl had looked at stars before, but never really saw them. All he had needed before was to know which way north was. Rick had shown him how beautiful they were that night. Daryl closed his eyes, thinking about the feel of Rick’s voice rumbling softly under his ear, and his arms wrapped loosely around Daryl.

Rick. All he wanted was to go home, and be with his family. But he didn’t have the strength to stand. Daryl was going to die here.

His last thought before the world faded away was simply a plea to whoever might be listening.

‘Please. Please, don’t let Rick find me turned.’


	16. Hope is a fragile thing

The night passed slowly for Rick. He had tried to sleep, but like he knew it would, every time he almost drifted off images of what might have happened flashed across his mind, and he was wide awake again. Eventually he gave it up as a bad job, and headed to the common hall. It was dimly lit by the few solar powered lights they had managed to scavenge, but it was enough.

Rick packed and repacked the bag he would take with him in the morning. Water, dried food, extra ammo, and a medical kit that Hershel had put together for him. God he hoped he didn’t need that. He passed the time cleaning and oiling the revolver and rifle he would take, trying not to think about Daryl alone where ever he was. Rick could only hope that they would fine Daryl quickly.

When there was nothing else for his hands to do, Rick made his rounds of the prison. Most everyone was fast asleep. When he passed a cell with a sheet over the bars for privacy, he could just make out the frantic sounds of a couple wrapped in the throes of passion. He quietly moved on. God knew they deserved whatever solace they could find. He paused at Beth’s door and listened for a moment. Rick could just make out the tiny huffing sounds Judith made while she slept. He resisted the impulse to slip inside and take her into his arms.

It would only wake her and Beth too. They needed their sleep and he wouldn’t lay his troubled mind on them.

Carl’s cell was one of the last he walked by, only a few doors down from Rick’s own. He expected to find the boy snoozing on the cot, but his son was sitting on his bed reading a book by the light of a candle.

He glanced up when Rick paused in the doorway.

“Hey dad.”

“Hey.”

His voice sounded so tired, even to his own ears that he winced. Rick leaned against the door frame.

Carl closed the book with a scrap of paper to mark his place, and studied his father.

“You look terrible.”

Rick managed a half smile.

“Thanks.”

The smile slipped as he thought of Daryl, and how he hadn’t liked to mince words either. Carl saw the shift in his expression, got up and pulled his father into a tight hug. It was strange, having his son offer this comfort to him. But he needed it badly. They had lost so much, and in the morning Rick was going to find out if they needed to mourn another member of their family.

The stayed like that for a long time. Carl seemed to know how much Rick needed the support. Rick suddenly noticed that Carl reached up to his shoulder now. When the hell had that happened?

“He’ll be ok you know.”

Rick gave a small nod, not trusting his voice just yet.

“Merle will be able to find his trail and you’ll bring him home. If anyone can make it, Daryl can.”

Rick knew that Daryl was tough. He was a survivor and he had what it took to make it on his own, but anything could happen out there. His voice was thick when he managed to speak.

“We’ll be home as soon as we can. You should get some sleep. Keep an eye on Judy for me.”

Carl let go, nodding his understanding. Rick gave his shoulder a final squeeze and slipped out into the quiet of the prison.

* * *

 

Dawn came at last. Glenn and Hershel were up as well and they were waiting for him in the common room. In his absence, Glenn would lead the council. He would keep the people safe and calm. They had already discussed this yesterday, so Rick only stopped for a brief word before heading to the fence. Merle was waiting for him. He had his pack, a hand gun in his waistband, and a machete strapped on his left side.

Sasha had the tower watch and waved to them as they slipped out.

Merle took the lead, eyes fixed on the ground searching for a trail. As Rick wasn’t much good at tracking, he held the rifle at the ready, searching the surrounding area for any threats. Merle didn’t say much beyond, “This way”, before heading into the trees.

The path was meandering to Rick’s eyes and he could only make out the most obvious signs of the trail; the occasional boot print in the soft earth or a patch of crushed undergrowth. But those were few and far between. It didn’t seem to bother Merle one bit, and if he wasn’t as stealthy as his brother, he did match Daryl in tracking.

It was a few hours before they stopped to rest. It was around noon and Rick didn’t want to stop, but if they didn’t stay strong, they would be useless when they found Daryl. Rick passed Merle the water and scanned the trees again.

“Do you think we’ll catch up to him?”

It had been bothering Rick for a while. Daryl had a day lead on them at least, and if he kept moving they would be chasing him for a while. If he was hurt somewhere, he would be hours ahead of them and they wouldn’t have much chance reaching him in time.

Merle swallowed the water and tossed it back to Rick. He glanced at the trees and nodded.

“No doubt. Ya see Grimes, when ya hunt game, ya gotta be quiet. Can’t let em hear you or they’ll just run off. Daryl woulda been moving slow and careful.”

Merle gestured with his prosthetic hand between them.

“Me and you don’t need to be quiet. We’re moving faster than him. We’ll catch up with him soon.”

They moved on as fast as possible. It was well over an hour before Merle broke the silence again.

“He was tracking something.”

Rick glanced at the trail, then back at Merle.

“How can you tell?”

Merle crouched and gestured with his prosthetic.

“See there? The stride is different, the marks a lil lighter. He didn’t wanna be heard.”

He stood and started forward.

“C’mon, aint no time to waste.”

They kept on. It wasn’t until they heard the unmistakable sound of walkers feeding that they stopped again. The two men shared a glance, and Rick could see his own worry reflected in Merle’s eyes.

Merle drew his machete and they moved forward. The walkers didn’t see them at first. They were too focused in gorging themselves on the dead black bear that lay in the clearing. There were only three walkers, so Rick shouldered his rifle and used his knife instead. Merle went left and Rick went right.

Once the walkers were dead, Rick couldn’t help but cover his nose. The smell was revolting. The dead smell of walkers, the musky scent of the bear, the decay of dead flesh and the heavy scent of blood, made Rick want to move away from it as he could before he threw up.

He had just turned to put some distance between him and the dead , when his foot hit something hard, and he was forced to stumble to catch his balance. Rick let out a muffled curse and glanced down at what had tripped him. His breath caught in his throat.

It was a crossbow. Daryl’s crossbow.

He couldn’t speak for a moment. There’s no way it wasn’t Daryl’s. The arrows on it were the same Daryl had been working on for a long time. Merle was examining the bear.

“Unless them biters worked out a way to shoot a gun, they didn’t kill it. It’s got a bullet in the eye.”

He turned, impatient at Rick’s silence.

“You hear me Officer Fr…”

He broke off as Rick stood up from where he had crouched, Daryl’s crossbow in his arms. For just a moment, Rick could see the naked fear in Merle’s face. Daryl would have never left his bow behind unless he had to, unless he was too hurt to carry it. Merle nodded, trying to master himself.

“So uh…Daryl was tracking the deer, shot it, damn bear wanted the deer, and Daryl got it.”

He knelt and touched a dark stain near where the bear had fallen.

“But it got Daryl too…”

 Rick’s hands shook a little on the bow. He’d suspected it ever since Daryl wasn’t back by sunset. The only way he wouldn’t come home on time was if he was hurt or worse.

“If he’s hurt this bad, he wouldn’t get far. C’mon.”

Rick wanted to reply, but what could he say? He knew the panic Merle must be feeling. It was the same when he woke alone in the hospital, and had no idea if his family was dead or alive. The man just hid it much better than Rick had.

* * *

 

Following the trail was much easier now. Even Rick could follow the scuffs in the earth, and the already dried blood stains without Merle’s help. Every so often they would walk past blood that was smeared on a tree trunk, like Daryl had leaned against the bark to rest before pushing on. Hurt and alone, his hunter had fought to live.

Rick could feel the dread bubble up in his chest at what they might find at the end of the trail. Daryl, his Daryl, with dead milky eyes and ice cold skin. He suppressed a shudder at the thought.

Merle was slightly ahead of Rick, so it was him that gave the cry that made Rick’s stomach twist. It was a sound that was nothing but pain and despair. He had never heard Merle make that sound before.

Daryl was slumped against a tree unmoving, head resting on his chest. His eyes were closed, and his skin was pale as death. They were too late.

Rick felt like the world had dropped out from under him.

No. No No No No. It couldn’t end like this.

Merle had fallen to his knees, staring at his brother with the loss naked in his eyes. Rick moved forward, pulling the knife out of his belt, his hands shaking badly. He would do right by Daryl. He wouldn’t let him turn. Daryl would do the same for him.

Rick could feel a scream building in the back of his mind. The madness of grief that had taken him when Lori was killed was just starting to brush the edges of his mind. He had to hold on. To do this for Daryl. Daryl, the man he loved.

He kneeled next to Daryl, the knife held firmly in his hand. He could do this.

His left hand brushed Daryl’s hair out of his eyes. His skin was so cold under Rick’s hand.

 The hunter’s face looked peaceful, like he was just sleeping. He let his hand trail down Daryl’s face, his thumb coming to rest on Daryl’s lip. He felt tears gather in his eyes. The pain was spilling over his control. He had failed Daryl and now he was gone.

A shallow warm breath ghosted over Rick’s thumb. Rick jerked his hand back and fell back on his ass on the hard ground. He stared dumbstruck for a moment, and then he scrambled forward again, his fingers pressing into Daryl’s throat. It was faint, but it was there.

 A pulse.

The tears spilled over his cheeks with relief. He was alive.

Fear surged back into Rick when he saw the wound in Daryl’s side. He had lost so much blood already. The gash was oozing blood and pus, and it was going to get infected if they didn’t do something. He could still loose Daryl. No. He wouldn’t let that happen.

“Merle! He’s not dead! Help me!!”

 


	17. By His Side

It was warm. Warmer than Daryl had been all night.

Maybe this was death, he thought. If it was, it wasn’t that bad.

Then, as if the universe had heard him, pain exploded in his side. It felt like someone was pouring liquid fire into his skin. He thrashed, trying to get away from the burning. Dimly he recalled he had gotten a wound. His brain was slow, like he had gotten shitfaced with Merle.

He could hear Merle’s voice in his head, like he often did when they were separated.

“It’s almost over baby brother, just a bit longer.”

He must have hit his head or something. The Merle in his head always told him to get up and quit being a pussy.

God he just wanted it to be over. Just as the burning pain started to fade, a new sharp pain stabbed into his wound. It brought him further to the surface than the burning had.

His wound throbbed as he fought against the hands and the pain. His wound… it was something to do with claws…

Daryl fought as hard as he could, which admittedly wasn’t much considering the state of him. But he wouldn’t let himself be eaten alive goddammit! He was Daryl fucking Dixon, and he wouldn’t just lay down for death.

A weight on his chest pressed him down hard, not letting him move an inch. Daryl was too weak to fight his attacker off. As his struggles faded, his surroundings started to come into focus a little. He could hear a voice speaking to him, trying to soothe his pain.

“Just one more Darling, that it. It won’t hurt anymore, I promise.”

“Why the hell you calling him Darling? He ain’t your fucking wife Grimes. He don’t need pandering.”

The first voice was harsher now.

“Shut up Merle! And hand me that bandage.”

Merle? Was Merle really here? And Rick? It had to be Rick. No one else ever called him darling. Were they dead? Was he?

With the last bit of strength Daryl had, he opened his eyes and tried to focus. He was lying on his back in the clearing he had collapsed. He could see the hazy outline of trees above him, streaked in afternoon sunlight. The sharp pain was taken away, leaving only the dull throbbing ache of the tear in his sides. The oppressive weight was gone too. A large hand slipped under his head and tilted it up a little

Before he had time to sort it all out, something cool and wet spilled into his mouth. He choked a little before swallowing. Water. It was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted in his life. The trickle was far too slow, and Daryl pawed at the source, trying to get more. A firm hand latches around his wrist and pressed it back down.

“Easy there, small sips. Can’t have you choking on it.”

Daryl gulped down all he could before the bottle was taken away, he was eased back down. He wanted more. A face with those deep blue eyes he knew so well swum into his vison.

“Rick?”

He sounded like he had been gargling broken glass. His throat was still so raw and dry, and it hurt a little to speak.

Rick pressed his lips to Daryl's forehead.

"God, I thought I lost you."

Daryl blinked trying to catch up. It was difficult what with the pounding in his head and wound in his side. He tried to speak again but only managed a weak cough.

“Shh Here drink some more.”

Rick gave him some more water as Merle hovered. If Daryl wasn't in so much pain, he would have found the sight of Merle hovering over him hilarious. The water didn’t make the pounding in his head go away all together, but it did make it tolerable. The memories of how he got here started to come back to him. His hunt, the deer, the bear and the claws ripping at him.

How the hell was he still alive?

“How did you…?”

Merle let out a bark of laughter that sounded a tad forced.

“I’m the one who taught ya ta hunt. Ya think I couldn’t track down your scrawny ass?”

The grin faded a little.

“ ‘sides, ya let one hell of a blood trail.”

Rick rested a hand on Daryl’s chest. Daryl noticed for the first time that he wasn’t half-naked. He had Rick’s jacket on. Daryl was surprised with how much he liked that. Was kinda like Rick being pressed up against him.

“We cleaned it best we could and stitched ya up. You’re gonna be just fine Daryl. Daryl? You hear me?”

Daryl wanted to say, “Course I heard ya. Ya ain’t two feet away from me.”, but he was just so tired. He managed a sleepy nod, and leaned as close to Rick as he could without moving too much.

He could barely keep his eyes open, but he could hear them talking over him.

“We need to get him back to the prison.”

“Ma brother can’t stand. Ya think he can walk all the way back to the prison?”

“We can’t stay here. He’s lost a lot of blood and he needs medical attention. I’ll carry him.”

“You think I can’t carry my own damn brother?!”

“Not with one hand you can’t. Besides you gotta lead us home. I just get us lost and in more trouble.”

Daryl’s head was starting to pound again, and he found himself drifting in and out of consciousness for a long time. He had the sensation of being carried in strong arms. Daryl hadn’t been carried since he was a baby as far as he knew. Ain’t never had someone to rely on like that. He’d always had Merle, but Merle was more likely to hit ya than hug ya in those days.

Every once and a while, something would jostle him a little, and his side would burn somethin’ fierce, but that didn't happen too often. Sometimes he was set of the ground. He liked that, because they gave him more water and a bit of food. It was nice not to have to think for a while. Rick and Merle would look after him. He trusted them with his life.

Sleep felt so good. He hadn’t had a proper deep sleep in a long time. So when shouting and loud whoops of excitement pulled him out of his wonderful rest, he wished they would just shut the hell up and go away.

More hands grabbed at him, lifting him and supporting his weight. He didn’t even have the energy to flinch away from them. Rick never let go of him. He was sure of that at least.

Daryl barely noticed when they laid him down on a mattress. All he could focus on were Rick’s hands. His warm, strong hands that stroked Daryl’s face while someone else poked and prodded at his side.

Daryl let unconsciousness take him completely under then. Safe in the knowledge that his family was by his side.


	18. Planting the Seed

It took 3 days and 2 units of blood before Daryl could stand on his own for any length of time. Even then he had to stay in bed for almost a week after that. Merle had threated to tie his ass to the bunk if he didn’t stay put. Rick hadn’t threatened him openly like Merle had, but he did make it clear that he would side with Merle if Daryl tried to get up.

Daryl really didn’t mind that much. His side still hurt if he moved too much, and he had 2 cracked ribs from when the bear fell on him. Rest was just what he needed. He couldn’t protect his family if he wasn’t fully healed.

And if he was being honest with himself, he kinda liked having them near him. When he first woke up at the prison, Rick had told him how close of a call it was. How they had thought they were too late. He was lucky to be alive. And knowing how close he was to death made him want to pull his people even closer to him.

No one but his new family had outright touched him, and he was grateful for that, but the others in the prison showed their support in whatever ways they could. One of the older women from Woodberry had made Daryl a warm blanket which she had left folded neatly on the foot of his bed. His weapons had been mysteriously cleaned and left in his cell, and his stash of arrows had somehow doubled in the 10 days he had been confined to his bed.

Before, he would have been angry that these people were sticking their noses in his business, but he didn't mind so much now. He wouldn’t consider them his kin, but he would fight by their side to protect the prison any day.

When he inevitably pushed too hard working the fence and hurt himself, Jake helped him back to the prison with Angela racing ahead to get Hershel.

Rick had heard about it, and once Hershel had said Daryl was fine, he told Daryl to go lay down and not to move.

Daryl could have argued. It wasn’t that bad and he’d had worse, but he knew Rick was just trying to keep him safe. He yielded, and let Rick drop him off in their cell.

He was lying in bed a few hours later, one arm across his eyes, when there was a soft knock on the door. Daryl opened his eyes and peeked past his arm to the door. Rick was standing there with a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey there.” Rick padded across the cell and sat on the edge of their bed, one hand resting on Daryl’s chest as if to reassure himself that Daryl is still here.

Daryl raised an eyebrow and glared at Rick.

“You were the one who said I needed to lay down and rest for a while, and now you come interrupting. Make up your damn mind Grimes.”

He was just teasing and they both knew it. Daryl had torn a few stitches while working at the fence, and he needed to let it heal. The last few hours he had been napping, and he felt well enough to get up and get some more work done, but he didn’t think Rick would let him.

Rick smiled, hand cupping Daryl’s cheek.

“Hope I’m not disturbing your rest. If so, I'll just have to make it up to you.”

He leaned forward a little, eyebrows raised in a question. Daryl gave a nod, and Rick leaned the rest of the way and kissed him.

Daryl sighed into the kiss. They hadn’t had much time alone since they’d made it back to the prison. There was always someone else around, checking up on Daryl or looking for Rick to bring him a report.And of course there was Merle. For a man that claimed he didn’t need nobody, he was underfoot more often than not.

But tonight was different. Everyone seemed to be handling their own business, and Rick had told everyone to leave Daryl alone so he could get some proper sleep.

Rick laid kisses all over Daryl’s face, returning every so often to peck him on the lips. He was careful to not lean any of his weight on the hunter’s side, and Daryl was grateful for that. He didn’t want to be laid up longer than he had to be. The world wasn’t gonna stop trying to kill him and his family just because he’s to hurt to stand a watch, or clear the fences.

Rick pulled away and sat back, facing Daryl.

His hand stroked Daryl’s hair in silence for a few minutes.

“Daryl, I didn’t ask before because I was so relieved to have you back home, and I wanted you to focus on healing. But I have to know. Why did you take off like that?”

Daryl wanted to look away from Rick’s gaze but he couldn’t. Those blue eyes wouldn't let him go. And besides, he owed Rick the truth.

“Had a nightmare. Needed some air. Thought that a hunt would help.”

He wanted Rick to just leave it alone. He was home now and nothing had happened. Well, almost nothing.

“Why didn’t you wake me? I could have helped you.”

Daryl finally looked away. “Didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Helping you doesn’t bother me Daryl.”

Rick’s fingers cup his chin, and gently turned his head back.

“It really doesn’t. I want to help you in whatever way I can.”

Daryl muttered something too softly to hear.

“What was that?”

“Shouldn’t need help!” Daryl tried to sit up but gasped when the movement pulled at his stitches.

Rick’s hand pressed him back to the bed.

“There’s nothing wrong with needing help.”

“It was over 30 fucking years ago. He’s dead and I still... I can’t get past this! Maybe you should just…”

Daryl's voice cracked and shook. This wasn't fucking fair. He was gonna drive this man he loved away because he couldn't let it go.

Rick’s hand gently wiped away at the wetness under Daryl’s eyes.

“What I should have done, is made sure you know that I will always try and help you. And I know it happened when you were a kid. That doesn’t make it any less real or painful. And as far as I can tell you’ve always pushed it down until now. Trying to be with me makes you relive it and I’m sorry for that. But even if this never really goes away, even if you have nightmares every night, I will always be by your side. I love you Daryl.”

Daryl’s hand curled around Rick’s hand.

“Even if I’m…damaged.”

Rick kissed him softly.

“You’re not damaged. You are a survivor.”

Daryl kissed him back, arms locked tightly around his neck. He didn’t want to ever let go, but there was one last thing that he had to know for sure.

“What if I can’t give you more…physically…?”

Rick framed Daryl’s face in his hands, making sure Daryl was looking at him.

“No matter what Daryl. I will take you however you give yourself to me. Although I did have a thought about the physical part of the problem.”

“Yeah? What is it?.”

Daryl was curious to know, and he was grateful for the shift in focus. Rick always seemed to know when and how far to push.

He wanted so badly to do more with Rick, to be more intimate. But whenever they tried, Daryl had to pull away, and try and stop a full-blown panic attack from blossoming in his chest.

“All this time, you’ve been trying to push yourself to do things with me,” Rick’s thumb stroked over his cheek, “and it’s not working that well.”

Daryl barely managed to suppress a flinch. Before his thoughts could spiral down where the always ended up, Rick brought him back with a quick kiss.

“And when something’s not working right, you just gotta try another way.”

Daryl found his voice at last. “How do you mean?”

Rick smiled. “I want you to consider letting me do something for you, instead of trying to force yourself to do something to me.”

The hunter nodded hesitantly. He wasn’t sure where Rick was going with this, but if he didn’t like it, Rick would stop.

“I want to use my mouth on you. I want to kiss every part of you that I can. I want to take you into my mouth, make you cum so hard you can’t speak coherently.”

The hunter tried to find his voice, but he was speechless for a moment. When he did manage to speak, he choked out.

“You don’t have to! I mean…I couldn’t for you before…You don’t owe me…”

Rick shut him up with a kiss.

“First of all, I want to. Nothing makes me feel as good as making you feel good.  Second of all, this thing we have”, he gestures between them, “It ain’t a zero sum game. We don’t keep score of who owes the other what. That’s not us.”

Rick rested his forehead against Daryl’s.

“I don’t want you to decide right now. Think on it for a while. And if you don’t want me to, we won’t. It’s as simple as that. Okay?”

Daryl nodded, closing his eyes. Rick gave him one last kiss before standing back up.

“I have a shift in the watch tower. I’ll be in around midnight. Get some rest.”

Daryl stared up at the ceiling for a long time after Rick had left. He almost couldn’t believe what Rick was offering him.

He couldn’t help but think about what it would feel like. Rick’s warm mouth and his big hands. Daryl had watched those lips of his for a long time, and he wanted them wrapped around his dick.

But worry gnawed at him when he thought of what else might happen. He practically had a meltdown every time their make out sessions tipped into real intimacy. What if he was so fucked up he couldn’t handle a blowjob?

He chewed on his thumbnail. Maybe he was over-thinking it. Getting a blowjob couldn’t trigger him, could it? His Pa had certainly never done that to him, so it shouldn’t remind him of the past.

This could work. But screw Rick for planting that seed in his head and then just leaving!

It was hours before Daryl managed to slip into a light doze. Ever since he started sleeping in Rick’s cell, he found he had difficulty falling asleep without the man curled next to him.

Daryl had never needed someone like that before, for it was both terrifying and soothing at the same time.

The sound of Rick softly closing the door roused Daryl from his half-sleep. He heard Rick kicking his boots off, and without turning or saying a word, Daryl scooted over on the mattress to the side facing the wall. Rick slid in behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Daryl settled back into Rick’s arms; his half-formed idea of telling Rick that he wanted to try seeming less important by the moment.

‘Tomorrow,’ Daryl decided, “I’ll tell him tomorrow.”


	19. Just a Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! it's been a month since I posted last. I am sooooo sorry! I just lost my inspiration for the story for a little bit. But I got it back and here I am!
> 
> Little bit of sexy times in this one ^.^

It turned out that the fates were not going to allow Daryl to do any such thing. Just as the sun was filtering through the grimy windows, Daryl was jerked from his sleep by a scream. He was moving before he was fully awake, grabbing for his weapons and trying to shake the sleep from his mind.

Rick was moving faster than Daryl. He must have already been awake when the scream pierced the morning stillness. He threw open the door and sprinted down the hallway. Daryl was fast on his heels, the pain of the sudden motion was forgotten in the surge of adrenaline that coursed through him.

Danger. Danger. His family was in danger.

Rick was shouting, demanding to know what was going on. Someone else was screaming about walkers in the prison. Rick ordered people back into their cells, and told them to stay put until he came back for them.

They found what had happened quickly enough. One of the older men from Woodberry must have died in his sleep. He hadn’t secured his cell door the night before so the walker had shambled out of the cell and fell upon the closest person it could find. It had already killed three people by the time they came upon it. A tanned woman with short cropped red hair had died trying to save her daughter. She had bites on her arms, like she had tried to hold it off and call for help. Her daughter had been a simple child of 12 that had not been right in the head. As least it had been quick for her.

A man had tried to pull it off the girl instead of just stabbing it, and it tore out his throat.

Rick put it down without a word, and did the same for the others. His face was set in a grim cast.

‘ _This was needless_.’ Daryl thought as they moved the bodies outside. It was bad enough that there was always a risk of someone dying when they left the prison, but to lose four people just like that inside their own walls...

Like he always did, Rick was blaming himself. Daryl could see it in his face. Some things were just beyond his control, but Rick refused to accept that.

They spent the next few days making latches for all the cell doors that could be closed from the inside. It wouldn’t hold forever but it might give the person a chance against a walker, and that was all they could really hope for.

Rick and Daryl were too busy and too tired to talk much about their budding relationship during that time. Daryl was taking watches and fence clearing shifts again, and Rick was trying to keep everything running smoothly while also keeping the people together.

They did share a bed at night, but they couldn’t do more than share a few kisses, exchange reports on what was going on and drift off to sleep.

The people were scared for a while after that, but they calmed down eventually and life went on. They did seem more vigilant though. No one ever when anywhere without a least a knife anymore. They stuck together in groups of two or three, and everyone locked their cells at night.

In a sick way, they needed something like that to happen. They all needed to be reminded that, although they were safer in here than out there, they couldn’t let their guard down.

Daryl was healing more every day, and his ribs only hurt when he put pressure on them. He thought a lot about what Rick had offered him and how to bring it up again. It just never seemed to be the right time for it.

* * *

 

It was about a week after everything had settled again that Daryl found his moment.

It had been a good day. One of the best they’d had in a long time.

Daryl and Merle had found a lake on their hunt, and had fished it until they couldn’t carry back anymore. Daryl couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride when he saw the faces of the people back in the prison. He did this for them. He would make sure his people didn’t starve.

The council had talked about it and decided they needed a little celebration. It was really just gathering everyone in the courtyard and building a couple of campfires, but everyone loved it.

They had cooked the fish on the open flame and everyone was having a good time. The kids were toasting old stale marshmallows over the fire and the adults were sipping the wine Glenn had found on a run a while ago. Daryl wasn’t drinking though. He knew he could be a nasty drunk, and besides, he wanted to keep his wits about him.

Rick wasn’t drinking either. He sat with Judith in his lap, listening to the conversations and laugher around him. Everyone would go to sleep with a full belly tonight, and that made Rick happier than he had been in a long time.

Daryl slipped a fried fish onto a plate and sat down next to Rick. Rick didn’t take his eyes off his daughter, but he pressed his shoulder into Daryl’s.

“Thank you Daryl, for doing this for us. We needed it.”

Daryl offered him the food with a shrug.

“Wasn’t nothing. Just brought back food like always.”

Rick took the food, offering a piece to Judith before taking a bite himself.

“Exactly. Like always. You always take care of us and I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am.”

Rick met Daryl’s eyes, and Daryl couldn’t help but smile back at him. Judith wiggled her way between them and Daryl cradled her in his arms.

“Where do you think you’re going Lil Asskicker?”

She only babbled at him some before settling. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while.

When the party finally started to break up, Rick stood and stretched, and held his hands out for Judith.

“Bout time she got some sleep.”

Daryl stood too, handing her to Rick. The older man turned to go, but Daryl stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Rick, wait.”

Rick turned back to Daryl puzzled. Daryl made himself look at Rick’s face instead of his feet. He could do this.

“Leave Judith with Beth tonight.”

Comprehension replaced the confusion on Rick’s face. He nodded and headed for the prison.

* * *

Rick closed and latched their cell before turning his deep blue gaze on Daryl.

“You wanted to talk to me about something?”

Daryl couldn’t help but notice that Rick left him a way to back out if he wanted to. He was absurdly grateful for that small kindness.

Daryl pressed into Rick's space, letting his breath mingle with Rick's. Rick was watching him, a smile playing across his lips.

"Yeah. I know it's been a while since you offered...I want to try...what you said before I mean..."

Rick let him babble for a few more moments before kissing him, his hands on Daryl’s waist.

"I need you to be a bit more specific darling. What do you want me to do?"

Daryl flushed. The sonofabitch was teasing him, and fucking enjoying it!

He swallowed trying to get the words out.

"I want you to...suck me off."

"Mmmmm that's a plan I can get behind. But first I think..."

He leaned forward and kissed Daryl again. The hunter moaned when Rick's arms encircled him, pulling their bodies tight together. Daryl loved kissing Rick. He always felt like he could forget himself and just feel for a while.

Rick nudged him backwards until he sat down on the bed. Daryl went willingly, lying back and trying not to fidget. He wasn’t afraid exactly. He trusted Rick to know what he was doing. He just seemed to have this way of guiding Daryl without trying to control him.

It was more that he could ever ask for.

The thought froze him for a moment. This was more that he deserved, he never should have…

Rick kissed him firmly, effectively distracting him for a moment.

“I can hear you worrying in that head of yours. Stay here with me.”

Rick nuzzled at Daryl’s cheek, hands running through his hair. He leaned over Daryl, careful to keep his weight the hunter’s sore ribs, and kissed him like his life depended on it.

"Just relax and let me do this for you.”

Rick trailed his lips down Daryl’s throat, pausing to kiss the base of his neck. Daryl couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath at that. He could feel Rick smiling into his skin as he moved down the mattress. The younger man almost tensed up, thinking Rick would move to take Daryl’s shirt off, but he didn’t.

Rick’s big hands rested on his hips, thumbing at the waistband of his jeans. With slow deliberate motions, he unfastened Daryl’s belt. He didn’t look away from Daryl’s eyes as he unbuttoned the jeans and slid the zipper down.

“Lift up for me?”

Daryl lifted his hips and Rick pulled his jeans and boxers off letting them fall to the floor. He locked eyes with Daryl again, not touching yet. Daryl squirmed self-consciously under Rick’s gaze. His cock was already half hard against his stomach.

Rick eyes flicked to it, and he grinned a wolfish grin. Daryl couldn’t help the noise he made when Rick’s hand closed over his dick. No one had touched him like that since before the world went to shit, and Rick was really good with his hands.

Rick moved so he was lying down, not pinning Daryl with his weight but lying next to him, with his head level with Daryl’s cock. He doesn’t stop moving his hand over Daryl as he repositioned himself.

“Doing alright there?”

Rick’s voice was half-teasing and Daryl blushed furiously. He had a retort on his lips but then Rick’s mouth was brushing over his cock and he forgot whatever it was.

“Ahhhh….”

Rick’s mouth was warm and wet, and he worked his tongue over the head. Daryl shuddered under the touch. Rick was pleased with the effect he his mouth was having on Daryl. He’d like to draw it out, spend time worshiping Daryl’s cock with kisses and licks, but he could feel the tension in his lover’s body, half arousal and half anxiety.

Some other time he would drag it out, and drive Daryl crazy with pleasure. But for now, he let Daryl’s cock sink into his mouth as far as it could go.

Daryl’s hands were fisted at his sides and he was biting his lip to try and hold back the sounds he was making.

His hand tangled in Rick's hair as the older man licked and sucked. He was so fucking close. He could feel it coiling in his groin.

"Rick! Fuck! Don't fucking! Nnnh!"

He bit down a cry as he orgasmed, Rick sucking him through the aftershocks, until it was all too much. Daryl pushed weakly at Rick's head until he sat back, licking his lips. He stroked Daryl's hip with a thumb, watching as Daryl tried to get his breath back.

"Was I any good?"

Daryl had his eyes closed, but he peeked one open to glare at Rick. Rick only grinned in response.

"You alright there?"

"Mmmhmmm"

He settled back down and just tried to breathe. Rick settled in next to him, ideally stroking Daryl chest through his shirt.

Only when Daryl had come back down to Earth, did he realize something.

He opened his eyes and looked at Rick who was just watching him, his head propped on one hand.

“You didn’t come.”

Rick nuzzled at Daryl’s neck.

“This wasn’t about me Darlin’. Don’t worry about it.”

Daryl shook his head. He wanted Rick to feel good too. His hand reached down and found Rick’s hard dick, squeezing through the cloth of his pants. Rick sighed into Daryl’s hair.

“Mmmm fuck…”

Daryl couldn’t help but grin a little at the reaction he was getting from Rick. He could feel the anxiety pricking at him, but it didn’t feel like it was going to overwhelm him this time.

When he managed to pull Rick’s cock free of his pants, Rick was moaning low in his ear.

Daryl hesitated a moment before starting to stroke Rick, slowly at first but gaining speed and sureness as Rick panted and groaned. Daryl could see he was close.

Just like it always seemed to when something good was happening in Daryl’s life, that nasty voice sneered in his ear just as Rick arched into Daryl’s touch.

_“You fucking pussy! What makes you think you can make this work? You can’t do nothing right!”_

Daryl shook his head. No! Fuck his old man! He was dead and Daryl had a family that loved him now. He wouldn’t let that old bastard take this away from him.

His hand had faltered for a moment, but before Rick could ask what was wrong, Daryl surged forward and kissed him. His free hand tangled in Rick’s hair while the other worked him over with fast firm strokes. Rick seemed a little surprised, but he returned the kiss with vigor, his arms wrapping around Daryl’s neck.

Daryl could taste himself in Rick’s mouth, and fuck if that didn’t make his spent cock twitch.

Rick tensed up suddenly, breaking the kiss with a moan as he spilled into Daryl’s hand. Rick’s mouth sought Daryl’s again, the kiss slower this time.

They lay like that for a while, sharing lazy kisses and catching their breath.

“That was amazing.” Rick murmured into Daryl’s skin.

Daryl only managed a ‘hmmm’ in response. He was suddenly very tired. Rick seemed to be as well because he settled into a more comfortable position, arms around Daryl’s waist. They let the comfortable silence stretch.

Daryl felt oddly light and floaty despite his exhaustion. He had won a victory tonight. A small one but still. He wouldn’t let the old bastard win. He had won too many times already.

 


	20. Belligerent but Soft-Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am soo sorry it took so long to get back to this story. I had a lot of shit to deal with, but now it's squared away and here is some lovely fluff as an apology. 
> 
> *kisses*

Winter came sudden and cold that year. Well, cold by Georgia’s standards anyway. Rick wasn’t overly concerned like he had been in past winters. Thanks to regular supply runs, a garden that prospered more than anyone thought possible, and the hunting efforts of Daryl and Merle, the prison was well provisioned. It was the most secure the group had felt since the farm.

The walkers had been quiet too. Hershel thought it had something to do with the level of decay and cold. Rick didn’t care. Anything that made his family safer was more than welcome in his book.

Things between Rick and Daryl had settled a bit. They had never made an announcement to the group at large, but everyone seemed to know that they were together. Daryl didn’t make a pretense of sleeping in his cell anymore. He spent every night with Rick by his side. No one except Merle ever commented on it, and with Merle it was just the same old ribbing as Daryl had gotten from him since they were kids.

And speaking of kids, Judith seemed to have decided that Daryl was her favorite person in the world. She had taken to following him around like a puppy all over the prison.

The three-year-old…she was three now right? Rick felt a twinge of guilt that he didn’t know for sure. The child would pump her little legs furiously to keep up with the hunter’s long strides. Daryl didn’t coddle to her age, but he didn’t leave her in the dust either.

It did Rick’s heart good to see them spend time together. They had so little to hold onto these days, and having Daryl around bonding with Judith would be good for them both.

At least that was what Rick thought, until Daryl left to go on a snare run.

He had left early, like he usually did, sharing a quick kiss with Rick before disappearing into the dawn. Judith had gotten up not long after and had immediately rushed into Rick’s cell, wanting her daddy and her Dare.

Rick had tried to explain to her that Daryl was gone and would be back later today. All she seemed to understand that her Dare was gone.

Rick had seen kids throw temper tantrums before. Hell, Carl had even had his fair share when he was little. But Judith… she was something else.

It was truly amazing how such a tiny pair of lungs had the capacity to make such a piercing noise. Rick gathered her up in his arms and tried to soothe her. Nothing he did made a difference. She cried and kicked and screamed till she was red in the face.

Soon others came, drawn by her wails. Judith had always been a quiet baby before now. Nothing anyone did made a difference. Carol, Carl, Beth and Hershel all tried, but it didn’t help. She just wouldn’t listen to their assurances that Daryl was fine and coming home soon.

Rick had her again almost an hour later in the common room. Most people had retreated to another block or had fled outside to get away from the noise. Rick didn’t blame them. He had a wicked headache right behind his eyes and Judith was showing no signs of slowing down.

He didn’t notice Merle approaching until the man was standing right next to him. Merle didn’t say anything, he just held out his arms for the girl. He wasn’t wearing the metal cap on his arm for once, and his face was calm with a hint of something in his eyes that Rick couldn’t really name. Sympathy? Maybe a touch of amusement? Merle crooked the fingers of his left hand with a muttered “Give ‘er here.”

Rick only hesitated a moment before handing her over.

Merle took her, wrapping one arm around her waist and flipped her upside down and paced away to a nearby table. Rick was half-way to his feet, a demand of “What the hell are you doing?!” ready to tear from his throat, but Judith’s cries suddenly cut off in a startled hiccup.

Merle flipped her upright again and sat her on the table. Rick sat back in his chair, staring stunned first at his daughter, then Merle. She sat there, blinking and staring at Merle with wide eyes as he knelt down so their faces were on a level.

“Now listen here missy, all that crying and screaming‘s gotta stop. Ain’t gonna do a lick a good. Daryl is coming back ya hear? He ain’t leaving forever. He’s a tough son-of-a-gun. But you think he wants to hear that you been pitching a fit and causing everyone grief?”

The girl hiccupped and just stared at Merle. He softened his voice a little.

“You think Daryl would leave you behind just like that?”

Judith gave a sniff and shook her head.

“There. You ain’t got nothing to worry ‘bout. Dry yer eyes lil one. Good, good. Now why don’t you and ol’ Uncle Merle head outside and play in the damn garden till he comes back.”

Judith leaned forward into him and wrapped her skinny arms around Merle’s neck. She nodded into his neck nodded, hugging him tightly. He carried the little girl outside, flipping her over his shoulder making her giggle in surprise.

Rick stared after them for a long time. The sudden quiet hurt his ears almost as much as the screaming had. He would have never imagined Merle of all people to have such a talent with kids. Then again, it was stupid to assume anything anymore. Even with Merle.

* * *

 

Daryl came home in just as afternoon was transitioning to evening, looking cold but satisfied. The snares had yielded six rabbits, and Daryl had shot a pair of squirrels to boot.

The second he was through the inner gate, a blur of brown hair and earth-stained skin slammed into his legs with a cry of joy. Daryl staggered a bit, not expecting it, but he recovered and gave her a one arm hug.

“Easy there! It’s good to see you too."

He looked her up and down, eyes taking her dirty hands and face.

“What on Earth did you get into lil asskicker?”

Judith beamed.

“Uncle Mer showed me how to dig for wormies! And he tried to put mud on me but I gotted him first!”

“That so huh?”

Daryl’s eyes flicked to Merle, who was standing off to one side, mud splattered on the side of his head and a feigned look of innocence on his face, and then to Rick, who just smiled and mouthed, “Later.”

Daryl straightened, letting Judith take hold of his finger with her chubby hand.

“Come on then. We gotta get cleaned up for supper before your daddy sprays us with the hose.”

Judith gave a little shriek and tried to pull Daryl along faster.

* * *

 

Rick came to bed later that night, to find Daryl lying in bed waiting for him. He sat up when Rick sat on the bed and they shared a heated kiss before Daryl pulled away, resting his head against Rick’s.

“You wanna tell me what happened today?”

Rick told him. The hunter listened eyebrows knitting in concern at first then raising in surprise.

“Damn, that musta been loud. I’ll talk to Judy. Make her understand bout hunts and runs.”

Rick shook his head.

“I don’t think you need to. I think Merle made her understand, at least enough not to throw a fit every time you go.”

Daryl smiled a small sad smile, and was silent for a few moments. Rick shifted on the bed and wrapped his arm around Daryl’s shoulder, letting the other rest on his leg. Rick knew better than to push. Daryl broke the silence, speaking quietly.

“You know, he’s got a lot of practice at keeping kids quite. When I…When I was a kid, he always seemed to know what to say to calm me down, so my pa wouldn’t notice me. And when I was a baby, he took care of me too. My mom was too drunk to... He can be a shit-head sometimes but…”

He trailed off and Rick nodded.

“I’m glad he’s here with us. We are family now and every family needs a belligerent but soft-hearted uncle.”

Daryl snorted and leaned into Rick, letting himself enjoy the warmth of his body. Merle would probably deny it all he wanted, but the Dixon’s were part of the Grimes family now. It make Daryl smile a warm sunny smile that he only ever had around this man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if you can actually stop a child crying like that. I did not consult any parents or books. I just made it up.


	21. Get Used to the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super pleased with this chapter. Please let me know what you think.

The morning had dawned bright and a little colder than usual. Rick had been out mending fences since the crack of dawn out with Glenn and Tyreese. The cold seemed to make the walkers less active than usual, and Rick hoped to get some work done without actively fighting off the walkers for once. Daryl had wanted to go with them, but Rick had pointed out gently that Daryl had been working almost non-stop for the last few days and he needed a day off.

Daryl was going to fight him, but he was tired after all and Rick had distracted him with kisses. So Daryl had found himself with nothing to do, and despite his exhaustion, he couldn’t sleep. Cell Block C was mostly empty. Beth had Judith outside with Merle. Carl was helping Carol teach the small group of children, and everyone else seemed to have something to do elsewhere.

Daryl sat on his bed, alone with his thoughts. He tried to keep his mind off the thing he had been brooding about for a while now. He thought about how he would need to make new bolts for his bow soon. He could start teaching Judith how to make them. She was a bit young to learn how to shoot right now, but it would be easier to learn later if she was familiar with them. Rick would probably teach her how to shoot a gun himself.

As his thoughts drifted to Rick, he couldn’t stop himself thinking about all the kisses and touches they had shared. And all the things they hadn’t done; couldn’t do because of Daryl’s history. He squirmed a little. He and Rick never talked about it much, but Daryl could sense Rick holding back a little when they were pressed together at night, trying to keep quiet. Daryl knew Rick just didn’t want to hurt him, but he was so tired of dragging so much baggage into this.

He suddenly knew he had to do something. He had been thinking about it for days and knew what he needed to do. And now was the perfect time to do it too.

Even though the cell block was deserted, Daryl decided to use his old cell. No one would come looking for him there. He locked the door as an added precaution. No point taking chances.

Daryl couldn’t believe he was going to try to do this. He had never really done any experimentation like this before. There had been no time or opportunity before now, and if he was being honest, he hadn’t wanted to before.

He knew the basics for how sex between two men worked. Daryl couldn’t help the a little shudder that passed through him. God did he know. He pushed the feeling away. He wanted to be more intimate with Rick; he just needed a bit of practice. If he could just get used to the pain, maybe he could have sex with Rick. It would be worth it in the end.

Daryl toed off his boots, and stripped off his pants and his underwear with quick economical motions, letting them drop on the floor. He toyed with the hem of his shirt, debating with himself. Was he supposed to be completely naked for this? He didn’t know the rules. He shook his head and sat down on the bed. This couldn’t be that difficult. It was his damn body and he could do as he liked with it.

Daryl let out a slow breath, lying down on his back. It took him a few minutes to move his feet close to his body. He felt too exposed like this, like he was leaving himself vulnerable. Daryl gave himself a shake. He was fine, he could get through this.

He took a deep breath, and reached down behind his balls to touch his hole. Daryl clenched hard; even his own fingers pressed against him made him flinch. He had an idea that this would be easier if he was relaxed first, but that wasn’t likely to happen

He bit his lip and pushed two fingers in. Might as well get it over with quickly.

Pain shot through him, just like he knew it would. Daryl took deep breaths to try and calm himself. He had been shot, stabbed, and taken savage beatings in the last few years alone. Surely he could endure this. He wanted more with Rick and this was the way to do it. Daryl tried moving his fingers a little, hoping that the discomfort would ease enough for him to ignore it. It didn’t.

Every time he moved he felt the skin pulling and the pain spiked a bit higher.

_He could feel the rough couch he was sure his pa had stolen rubbing his skin raw as he was torn apart from the inside out. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his tongue to stifle his scream._

 Daryl knew the memory was in his head, but it didn’t matter. It was just too much.

He pulled his fingers out and curled on his side, trying to stop hyperventilating. It had hurt like that every time his Pa had forced his way inside him.

Tears of shame filled his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to get used to that kind of pain. Not even for Rick.

‘Rick would never ask you to hurt yourself like that’ a small voice in his head whispered. Daryl mulled that over as he lay there. Rick had said that he would love him no matter if they never did anything more in bed. Daryl suddenly wished that Rick was here to stroke his hair and make him feel like he wasn’t so alone.

Daryl lay still for a few minutes more before he pulled himself up and got dressed again. He headed for the showers, suddenly wanting to be clean. The water wasn’t hot by anyone’s standards but it wasn’t cold either. He scrubbed himself until his skin was tinged with red. Daryl would have preferred a scalding hot shower but that was impractical.

Daryl spent the rest of the day spent avoiding everyone, and debating with himself whether he should talk to Rick about it. Rick had said that Daryl could come to him if wanted to, and Daryl was starting to believe that Rick was sincere about it. If he told Rick about what had happened, maybe he would understand that Daryl had tried, but it just hurt too much.

Daryl flipped his knife idly in his hand like he always did when he was nervous. Part of him wanted to tell Rick and hear that he understood, and part of him wanted to bury what he had done and pretend it never happened.


	22. What did he know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short update this time. Will post more soon.
> 
> *kisses*

Rick’s muscles were sore and aching from straining against the heavy metal they had used to re-enforce a stretch of fence that had been torn down twice already. Eventually, all the chain-link would be replaced with heavy-duty metal, but they would have to go looking for that kind of sheet-metal, and he didn’t want to send anyone out on long runs in winter.

He nodded to Tye and Glenn as they passed him, heading inside. It had been a long day. He stretched, letting out a sigh when his back cracked. A giggle brought his attention to the garden. Judith was on her hands and knees digging up carrots with a look of determination on her face. Her dark hair fell into her eyes as she looked over at Merle, who was doing the same on the next row. He could just hear Merle say, “You better hurry up Judy. My pile is bigger than yours. I’m gonna beat ya.”

The little girl let out a wordless cry that clearly said, ‘No you won’t.’

Rick smiled. He was glad they were getting alone so well. Things had been rocky with Merle living at the prison at first. No one really wanted him there except Daryl, but Rick didn’t regret letting him stay.

Rick leaned against the outside wall, and his eyes tracked to his lover on guard in the tower, a rifle held in his arms. Even at this distance Rick could see the tension in his stance.

Rick frowned. Daryl had been acting oddly all day. Rick wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but he could guess.

Daryl always got tense and jumpy when something had triggered him. But it couldn’t be that. Daryl hadn’t had a nightmare last night, and they hadn’t done anything sexual today.

But then again he was no psychologist. What did he know about how that kind of trauma manifests?

Rick decided he wouldn't bring it up until tonight. Daryl never liked to talk about things like that in front of other people. It wasn't their business. But he knew he couldn't just let Daryl stew in it for a few days, as was his usual method of being there for Daryl while giving him his space.

Daryl hadn't said two words to anyone all day, and he had ducked out from under Rick's hand when Rick had tried to touch his shoulder in the commons during lunch.

 The last time Daryl had been this agitated he had left on a hunt and almost didn't come back. Rick shuddered at the memory of finding Daryl, lying so still and pale under a tree. He wouldn't let it get that far again.

* * *

 

Daryl lingered in the commons after everyone had gone to bed. Rick had left early to read Judith a story and put her to bed. Daryl was glad. He didn’t wanna be alone with Rick just yet. Rick had those cop senses, and he probably would be able to tell just by looking what Daryl had been up to.

He pretended to be extremely intent on his crossbow so no one would bother him, and soon he was the last one in the commons. The gentle cadence of Rick reading to his daughter echoed in the quiet prison. Daryl couldn’t help but smile a little. That little girl was lucky to have a man like Rick for a daddy.

He pushed himself up and headed upstairs. Rick was just easing the door closed, and turned at the sound of Daryl’s footsteps. His face broke into a smile when he caught sight of Daryl.

“Hey there.”

His voice was hushed, not wanting to wake Judith. Daryl didn’t reply, but he didn’t flinch away from Rick’s hand when it brushed his cheek. Rick studied him for a moment, thumb stroking his cheekbone. His smile faded a little as he examined Daryl’s face.

“Daryl?”

The concern in his voice washed over Daryl, soothing him from the inside out.

Daryl knew that Rick was worried. He could hear it.

Daryl swallowed. That little voice in his head, that seemed to have become the counterpoint for the harsh voice of his pa, whispered that Rick would be able to ease the tightness in his chest like he always had before. Rick wouldn’t push him away if he told him the truth. He wouldn’t leave.

“Not here.”


	23. A Partner that Cares

He turned and walked to their cell, knowing Rick was right behind him. Daryl closed and locked the door quietly. When he turned to face the room, he found Rick had lit a few candles they kept on hand. The room was filled with a soft light, enough for Daryl to see the concern in Rick’s deep blue eyes. He avoided that intense gaze and sat on the bed, hands resting in his lap.

“Daryl?”

He couldn’t help glancing up at Rick when he said his name like that, but quickly looked back down at the floor. Rick set a candle on the bedside and sat down next to Daryl. His face was creased with concern.

“Please talk to me.”

Rick’s hand rested on Daryl’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. Daryl wasn’t sure where to start but he knew he needed to get this off his chest. He tried to speak, but it felt like a lump had wedged itself in his throat and the words wouldn’t come. The hand on his shoulder moved to his face and Rick gently turned Daryl’s face towards him.

“You seemed alright this morning when I left to work on the fences but now…Something musta happened.”

Daryl tried to speak, cleared his throat and tried again.

“I tried to…get myself used to it so we could…I want more but it was too much and I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Rick frowned.

“What do you meant ‘get used to it’?”

Daryl shrugged.

“I tried to use my fingers so we could… I thought if I could block it out, then you could…”

Rick sat silent for a few moments, his mouth slightly open as he processed. He swallowed and spoke.

“Daryl…”

Daryl ducked his head and kept talking. He needed Rick to understand.

“I didn’t think it would be so …I just wanted…I’m sorry…”

He felt strong arms wrap around his chest, and he chanced a glance at Rick. Rick had moved so he was facing Daryl, pulling Daryl into him.

“Shhhh…don’t you apologize. It’s okay if you don’t want to go that way. Not everyone is into that kind of thing.”

Daryl let Rick hug him for a few moments before sitting back to look at him.

“You really don’t mind if we don’t…”

Rick sealed his mouth to Daryl’s in a brief kiss.

“Of course I don’t. But I do have to ask, did it ever occur to you that you don’t have to be… the one who receives?”

Daryl blinked, startled. He had never really thought of that before. The idea of Rick beneath him, being inside him, excited Daryl more than he was willing to admit. But he couldn’t let that happen. Rick would do anything for Daryl, but he would not let him inflict that kind of pain on himself.

“No!”

Rick jumped at the intensity of Daryl’s denial. Daryl softened his voice a little.

“No, I won’t let you feel that pain for anyone. Especially for me.”

“Pain?”

Rick stared at Daryl, confusion etched on his face.

“What are you talking about?”

Daryl felt his defenses rise a little. Was Rick mocking him? No, he wouldn’t, but what then? He decided the best way was just to plunge onward.

“I mean being on the,” he swallowed, “receiving end. I don’t want you to hurt like that.”

“Darlin’, I know you’ve never had sex like that before, but I could coach you through it. You would be a fantastic lover, I have no doubt.”

Rick was smiling a dreamy smile, like he was imagining something amazing. Daryl didn’t understand. Why the hell did Rick want to endure that kind of agony?

It must have shown on his face because Rick’s expression was concerned again.

“Daryl…”

But Daryl had pulled himself free of Rick’s arms and stood up, pacing away from the bed and wrapping his arms around himself.

“What do you mean!? It hurt like it always hurts. Why would you…”

He ran his hands through his hair, not looking at Rick. Rick had stood, and was staring at Daryl with dawning understanding and apprehension on his face.

“You know sex with a man is not supposed to hurt. Don’t you…?”

Daryl met his gaze before dropping his eyes.

“Always hurt before…” He muttered almost to himself.

“Daryl”, said Rick sharply, “What happened to you before wasn’t sex. It was rape.”

Daryl looked back at Rick, pulled in by the fierceness radiating from him. He cupped Daryl’s face in his hands and brought their foreheads together.

“When you have a partner that cares about you and does it right, sex feels amazing for both people.”

“How do you know?”

His voice was small, his hands resting on Rick’s chest.

Rick had a point after all. Daryl’s only experience with a man had been with…someone that never really cared what happened to him. Rick cared though. Maybe if he…

“Because I’ve experienced it myself.”

Daryl couldn’t hide his surprise. Rick was smiling at the expression on Daryl’s face and gently maneuvered him to sit on the bed again. Daryl finally managed to get through his initial shock and ask,

“When did you…?”

“In college. Me and this friend of mine explored quite a bit. This was before we joined the sheriff’s department. I didn’t even know Lori back then.”

Daryl was watching Rick’s face carefully so he saw the hint of a ghost in those deep blue eyes.

“It was with Shane.”

It wasn’t a question. Rick let out a deep breath.

“Sometimes Daryl, I am convinced you can read minds. Yes, it was with Shane.”

Daryl thought of how Rick had found Shane again after the world had ended. He thought of the two of them arguing and trading blows on the side of the road. And he thought of how Rick had killed Shane and watched Carl put him down.

“Rick, I’m sorry.”

He leaned forward and kissed Rick, like Rick had so often done for him. Rick seemed to understand what Daryl was trying to say, kissing back softly before easing back.

“The point is, sex is supposed to feel good for everyone involved. I promise you. If you want to try, I assure you it won’t hurt me. You’re not that kind of lover.”

Rick let Daryl absorb his statement in silence. Not touching or leaning into him, just waiting.

Daryl thought about what Rick had said. It went against what experience had taught him, but Rick was right. It wasn’t really sex. It was violence. And he trusted Rick. Rick wasn’t even asking him to be on receiving end. He could do this. They could do this.

“Show me.”

Rick raised his eyebrows in a question. Daryl leaned into Rick’s space, his lips brushing against Rick’s cheek.

“Show me what it’s like to have a lover that cares about me.”


	24. Steady and Soothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am soo sorry for the long wait. I don't really have a good excuse for it except that I seem to write best when I'm supposed to be doing something else, and I have a lot of free time on my hands at the moment. I will do my best to post faster next time.
> 
> This chapter contains some sexy times between our lovely boys.
> 
> ~Kisses~

Daryl wasn’t entirely sure where this impulse was coming from. The anxiety that had been gnawing at his insides was easing. He trusted Rick. If Rick said it wouldn’t hurt, Daryl believed him.

Rick’s hands stroked Daryl’s hair as they sat in silence for a moment.

“Daryl, we don’t have to do it like that. I meant what I said. I don’t mind being on bottom.”

Daryl shook his head.

“Maybe sometime…but I have to know for myself before…”

Rick nodded. Daryl was often like that. Taking risks upon himself before allowing others to try it. He was always the first volunteer to check out an unsecured building. Always first to test any food they found on himself to make sure it was safe to eat.

This time though, Rick would make sure Daryl wouldn’t regret going first.

“If that’s what you want darlin’.”

He gave a smile that he hoped would reassure Daryl.

“Come here.”

Daryl obeyed. He was still a little nervous, but it wasn’t panic inducing like it was before. Rick caught his lips in a kiss, and Daryl gave a tiny moan in response.

This was easy. This was familiar. It felt so good.

Daryl sank into the kiss and hardly noticed when Rick guided him down to the bed. It was only when Rick pulled back that Daryl seemed to remember what was happening. He felt a blush creep up his neck.

Rick’s hands stroked over Daryl’s shoulders and down to his waist. He glanced up at Daryl.

“You ok Darlin’?”

Daryl nodded. This part was easy. They had done this before. Daryl lost himself in kissing Rick, only pausing long enough to pull off his pants and boxers. Rick tossed them off the bed and grinned at Daryl, his hand curling around Daryl’s cock.

“Mmmmm!”

“That’s what I like to hear from you darlin’.”

Rick worked Daryl’s cock until he was arching into the touch. Something seemed to occur to Rick and his hand slowed a little until it was still. Daryl found his voice from wherever it had disappeared to.

“What? Why’d you stop?”

Rick considered him a moment.

“Would it make you more or less comfortable if I took my clothes off too?”

Daryl had to take a moment to think. He loved feeling Rick’s bare skin against his hands, but he didn’t want to freak out and ruin the moment.

“Just…Just your shirt.”

He held his breath, hoping Rick wouldn’t ask him to do the same. He knew it didn’t matter, but he just couldn’t face that right now.

Rick didn’t. He unbuttoned his shirt and let Daryl push it off his shoulders, exposing the hard muscle underneath. The hunter’s fingers traced over the small circular scar on Rick’s left side where the bullet had torn through him. Even after all these years, it hadn’t gone away entirely. Some scars never really did.

Rick nuzzled into Daryl’s neck and murmurs.

“Just give me a second darling’.”

Rick slid off the bed and moved to the far corner of the room. Daryl watched him go, too distracted by his lover’s muscled back to notice what he was doing. He did notice when Rick dug in a side pocket of a duffle bag, and pulled out a small clear bottle.

“What’s that?”

“Lube. It will make things a bit easier.”

Rick came back to the bed and set the bottle down.

“Lay back for me.”

Daryl did, trying to get as comfortable as he could with his heart trying to beat out of his chest. Rick leaned down and kissed his hunter.

“Mmmmm ”

Rick let his hands wander, wanting to touch every inch of his lover. He moved deliberately but slowly so Daryl would have time to pull away if he wanted to.

When Rick finally settled himself between Daryl’s legs, Daryl was breathing a little faster than before. His eyes were bright and a flush was creeping up his face. Rick loved drawing that reaction out of him.

His hand was light as it stroked Daryl’s thigh with one hand and reached for the small bottle with the other.

The snap of the cap was loud in the quiet of their cell. Daryl was as tense as a bowstring when Rick moved his legs apart and ran his fingers down the back Daryl’s legs, brushing lightly against his ass.

“Easy Darlin’. Just relax.”

Daryl huffed out a breath.

“Easy for you to say.”

Rick smiled and nipped at his lover’s neck, enjoying the gasp that slipped out. Daryl wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Rick went willingly and used the opportunity to smear lube on his fingers and reach down to stroke at Daryl’s hole.

He felt Daryl flinch in his arms, but he didn’t push Rick away, and Rick took that as a positive sign.

Gently he eased his finger into Daryl, careful not to move to fast. He could feel the tension in Daryl’s body, and pressed his lips just under Daryl’s jaw, just the way his hunter liked. It helped a little. Daryl gave a sigh of pleasure and his body relaxed slightly.

Rick pressed in further searching for the spot that would make Daryl see stars. He found it and pressed lightly against it.

Daryl jerked like he had been electrocuted.

“Fuck!”

Rick smiled in in satisfaction. That’s more like it.

“You alright Daryl?”

Daryl looked up at him with those bright blue eyes opened wide in surprise.

“What..What was that?”

Rick kissed Daryl chastely, his free hand cupping Daryl’s cheek.

“That was just a taste Darlin’. You hold on tight.”

He kept working Daryl slowly with his finger, drawing more surprised moans out of him. Rick took his time. This had always been his favorite part. Focusing all his attention on his partner. Making them shiver under his hands.

Daryl had his lips pressed tightly together trying to keep quiet. He could feel himself growing hard as Rick kept reaching that spot inside him. It had never felt anything like this before.

All thoughts of his Pa, the scars, and even the walkers fled his mind as he arched against Rick’s fingers. Because there were suddenly two fingers inside him. He had been so overwhelmed by warm rolling pleasure that he had not noticed the change until both of them pressed against his sweet spot. He couldn’t stop the moan from slipping passed his lips and he tightened his grip on Rick’s shoulders.

Rick was talking to him, but he could barely process the words. It just felt so good.

“That’s it…C’mon Darlin’…I’ve got you…”

He was shaking in Rick’s arms as pleasure raced through him. It felt like he was coming apart at the seams and only Rick’s touch could possibly hold him together.

He noticed belatedly that his mouth was moving as each wave of pleasure crashed over him

“Please Rick! Please! Fuck Fuck! I can’t!”

And through it all, Rick was there, holding him as his orgasm racked through him. Steady and soothing, as the storm of pleasure ebbed.

Daryl dimly noticed when Rick pulled his fingers out. He had never felt this high before. Not even when Merle and his druggie friends had slipped some X into his drink when he was 15.

Rick kissed him back to full awareness, and Daryl tried to kiss back with some semblance of skill but his orgasm seemed to have sapped his coordination, and his movements were clumsy at best.

Rick only kissed him and grinned.

“Not bad for our first time. You okay Darlin’?”

“Mmhmm.”

 Rick laid kisses down Daryl’s jaw and neck, his other hand in Daryl’s hair.

When Daryl finally came down enough to string two words together, he snaked his hand down and cupped Rick through his jeans.

Rick let out a groan, his forehead resting against Daryl’s.

“Mmmm Daryl…”

“Shhhh Just let me…”

He flipped them over so he was straddling Rick, undoing his jeans and taking his cock in hand. Rick looked like he was going to protest over some noble sentiment about tonight being only for Daryl, but Daryl shut him up with his mouth.

He stroked Rick while he kissed him. Fast and hard, just the way Rick liked it.

Soon Rick was shuddering as he came over Daryl’s hand.

They both lay exhausted and tanged in each other’s embrace. Rick managed to lean over to the side table and blow out the candles, engulfing the room in darkness. He settled back down and they fell asleep within moments.

 And that night, Daryl Dixon slept soundly with no nightmares to trouble him.


	25. One less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm terrible at updating. I'm sorry but I haven't given up on the story. Enjoy.

In the days that followed their night together, Daryl felt like he had a gentle warmth inside his chest that made all their problems weigh a little less heavily on his mind. He wondered idly if this was what all couples felt like, or if it was just him and Rick.

Either way it didn’t matter.

That happiness prevented Daryl from leaving the prison for a few days, because he didn’t want to worry Rick more than he had to.

When he did finally bring up the subject of going on a hunt in the morning, he could see the tightness around Rick’s eyes and the air of worry that seemed to fall over him.

He didn’t object though. He didn’t tell Daryl he had to stay put where he was safe.

He knew that to tell Daryl that he had to stay in a cage of any type would be the surest way to him wanting nothing more than to claw his way free.

All Rick did was nod and say,

“You come back in one piece.”

Daryl nodded and kissed Rick soundly on the lips.

He wouldn’t promise that everything was going to be okay, or that he would always come home.

He knew that anything could happen in this new world, and ignoring that possibility didn’t make it any less real. Daryl would always fight to come home. Until there was nothing left in him, he would keep fighting.

And for now that would have to be enough.

He took his pack, his bow and pistol. This trip would be a little longer than usual. The game was becoming scarce around the prison so Daryl would need to spend at least a few days in the wild before coming home. Before he left the prison, Rick stopped him and pressed a walkie into his hand.

“Here. Take this with you, so you can check in.”

Daryl nodded and gave Rick’s hand a squeeze before letting go and slipping through the fence. They didn’t say goodbye. They had already done that last night with desperate touches and kisses that lingered longer than normal.

Daryl needed this. The quiet, natural sounds of the woods. He loved Rick and the kids with all he had, but sometimes it was just too much. He had spent his whole life trying to get away from people because people were nothing but trouble.

He followed the creek to the south, checking the snares they had set as he went. As he thought, there was not much. That was always the problem of staying in one place too long. The animals learned to avoid the smell of humans.

He only encountered a few walkers the first day. Not many just wandered the woods aimlessly unless a sound drew them in.

Daryl decided it’d be best to make camp up in a tree. That way he wouldn’t be eaten in his sleep. Just as the sun went down, Daryl turned on his walkie.

“Rick? Can you hear me?”

There wasn’t more than a 2 second pause before Rick’s voice crackled on the other end, as Daryl had known he would. Rick wouldn’t let that walkie out of his hands until Daryl was safe back in the prison.

“I hear you. You okay?”

“I’m fine. No bears.”

“That’s not funny Daryl.”

Daryl smiled to himself.

“Sorry. Everything quiet on your end?”

“Yeah. We’re fine. Judy misses you.”

“I’ll be home in a few days.”

“I know.”

“I’ll probably be out of range tomorrow night.”

“Alright. Be safe.”

“I will.”

The line clicked as Daryl turned the radio off. He settled down into a light sleep with his bow resting in his arms.

Once Daryl started the hunt, it was a while before he caught the trail of big game. He had a string of rabbits hanging from his belt. There were a few promising signs most of it was at least 3 days old. Daryl wasn’t overly concerned. Hunting was about patience, and he had only just started.

He kept close to the stream, knowing that was a sure place to find game. The water was clear and cold, and it felt good against his skin. He saw a lone walker shambling aimlessly and thought about just letting it go. It hadn’t seen him, and it was only one.

He took it out anyway. Now it wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else. He retrieved the arrow and cleaned it against his pants.

One less monster in the world.

It was almost dark when Daryl saw the cabin. It was small and old looking, but it seemed sound enough. It probably didn’t have much in the way of useful supplies but it was a roof.

He approached quietly, listening for any signs that the cabin was occupied. He didn’t hear anything. The door opened easily under his hand and he stepped in bow ready.

He had been right; the room was pretty much empty of everything except for the far corner near the fireplace. A backpack sat against the wall with a few empty cans and wrappers scattered around it.

Daryl moved towards it, leaving the door open behind him so he could hear any walkers coming a long way off. Crouching down and setting his bow on the floor, he unzipped the bag.

To his surprise, it was packed full of supplies. Water bottles, cans, clothes, soap and a few other oddments. He couldn’t believe someone had just left all this behind.

Unless they hadn’t. Daryl glanced at the floor around the rucksack. No dust. Someone had been here very recently.

He had just reached for his bow, when he heard the unmistakable metallic sound of a shotgun chambering a round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha! evil cliff hanger!!


	26. Times Gone By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm the worst updater in the world :( But bear with me and we'll make to end

“Don’t fucking move.”

Daryl froze. How the hell did he not hear him come in? He was getting too old for this shit.

“You trying to steal from me? You been following me?”

Daryl thought he had heard that voice somewhere before but he couldn’t think where. He didn’t turn around. He didn’t feel like getting shot because this guy got jumpy.

“I ain’t following you. I thought this place was abandoned. Fair game. Don’t want any trouble.”

The man was silent for a moment.

“Maybe that’s true, maybe not. Maybe you woulda slit my throat if I was here sleeping.”

Daryl didn’t reply. He knew there was no way to convince him that he wouldn’t have.

“You make a move I don’t like I’ll blow your fucking head off. Got it?!”

“Got it.”

“Stand up and turn around, nice and slow.”

Daryl did so. He would play along for now. The first chance he saw to take control of the situation, he would. There was no way he was gonna die here.

The man was tall and sturdy-looking, with dirty blond hair and dark hard eyes. His face had a haggard, half-starved look; like he had spent months, maybe years on the road just barely surviving.

Daryl could tell by the way he held the weapon that the stranger had used it before. This is a man that would kill Daryl if given the slightest provocation.

But he hadn’t killed him yet. That was important. That meant there was the chance he could be talked out of pulling the trigger.

They stood only ten feet apart. Too far for Daryl to charge him. Too close for him to miss.

“I didn’t come here to cause trouble. I’m Daryl and I have some snares nearby. They should have some fresh meat for us if you’re hungry.”

Something different stirred in the man’s eyes.

“Daryl Dixon?”

Daryl blinked in surprise. How the hell..?

The man must have read the confusion on his face because he smiled, the expression transforming his face into a man years younger. He lowered the gun a little but not completely.

“Come on D, don’t tell me you don’t remember.”

Daryl looked closer, searching past the beard for something familiar.

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Caleb?”

Caleb’s tired smile widened and he let the shotgun fall to his side.

“Christ it’s good to see a familiar face these days. It’s been what? Over 25 years now?”

Daryl could only nod. He never thought he would ever see Caleb again.

***27 years ago***

“Come on D! Slowpoke!”

Daryl shoved Caleb sideways as they ran along the shore of the lake, but Caleb’s hand closed on Daryl’s shirt and pulled, sending both teenagers tumbling into the water.

They came up spluttering.

“You asshole!” exclaimed Caleb as he splashed the other boy.

“You started it!” Daryl splashed back, catching Caleb full in the face.

The boys wrestled in the warm shallows of the lake, laughing and coughing until they were both exhausted. It was the middle of summer and hot as could be imagined, so the boys really didn’t mind the impromptu swim despite all the complaining over it.

Caleb had wanted Daryl to show him a bit about hunting and Daryl was happy to oblige. No one had ever taken much interest in the things Daryl did, so he was almost eager to show what he knew.

Daryl had planned to show Caleb how to follow game trails and they had hiked around the woods for a few hours until Daryl found a deer trail. But they had gotten sidetracked before they could follow it anywhere. Then when they came upon a lake, Caleb had gotten a mischievous look in his eyes and challenged Daryl to a race to the other side of the lake. Daryl had grinned too and took off like a shot before Caleb even knew the race had begun.

Caleb and his parents had moved to the area not too long ago in the middle of the school year. Maybe that was why they didn’t mind having Daryl in the house. Everyone else in their small town seemed to recognize and avoid him as much as possible.

 At school, people had always avoided Daryl like he had some contagious disease, but Caleb didn’t. He sat right next to Daryl at lunch and introduced himself. Daryl was so startled that he couldn’t do much but stammer,

“I’m D-Daryl.”

But he spoke so quietly that Caleb smiled and said,

“It nice to meet you D.”

“It’s Daryl!”

“Daryl then”

Caleb laughed, but not in the mocking cruel way Daryl was used to. He couldn’t help but smile a little in return.

They were fast friends from that time onward.

The teenagers pulled themselves back onto the shore and lay panting in the sun. Caleb pulled off his shirt and rung it out.

“Man that was stupid. Now we gotta walk back in wet pants.”

Daryl sat up and shrugged. He didn’t mind. He was used to it because he didn’t have many clothes that weren’t already torn and stained. It was one of the many reasons kids at school laughed at him.

Caleb laughed then, brushing the water out of his hair. He had any easy laugh and Daryl enjoyed being around him for it. Caleb glanced at his watch but the swim had shorted it out.

“Damn, I wonder what time it is.”

Daryl glanced at the sun.

“Just after 5 I think.”

Caleb nodded.

“My mom wants me back at home by 7. We should probably head back. You wanna have dinner with us? We’re having pepper steak.”

Daryl wasn’t completely sure what pepper steak was but he didn’t care. Anything that kept him out of the house was just fine with him.

“Sure.”

He stood and offered a hand to Caleb.

In hindsight, Daryl wished he would have led them back far away from his house. There were countless ways to get to Caleb’s house from that spot.

But no. He had chosen the path he knew best. The one that ran close to his house. That meant they were in sight of the house when Caleb turned to Daryl and said.

“I don’t know how you do it man. I was completely turned around in there.”

He had laughed then, wrapping an arm around his waist, and planted a light kiss on Daryl’s mouth. Daryl stood rooted to the spot. He couldn’t think what to do or what to say.

But that decision was taken away from him when a shout erupted from the house.

“What the hell is this faggot bullshit?!”

Merle was standing in the back doorway, staring at them. Daryl could tell he was high just by how he stood.

He lurched forward, the torn screen door banging closed behind him.

“Ain’t gonna be no fucking faggots round my brother!!”

Caleb was staring at Merle like he was a movie monster come to life, like he knew he was dangerous but thought that the raging man couldn’t get to him.

Daryl shoved him towards the road.

“Get outta here before he…!”

Too late. Merle was a good ten years older than Daryl and he was as strong as a bull. He swatted Daryl’s attempt to stop him aside like it was nothing, and laid into Caleb with all the strength he had.

Caleb wasn’t a wimp. He had grown up roughhousing with his older brothers and cousins, and he had been in a few fights at school. But he had never faced anything like Merle Dixon high on meth before.

Merle had him on the ground after the first blow and he could do little but cover his head to try to protect himself against the onslaught.

Daryl was yelling at Merle to stop. But Merle ignored him, even when Daryl jumped on his back to try and pull him off.

If he didn’t stop Merle now, he was going to kill the only friend Daryl had ever had.

He finally got Merle’s attention by digging his fingers into Merle’s eyes. He howled and staggered away from Caleb, focusing on Daryl now.

Daryl snuck a quick glance at Caleb. His nose was broken, his eye was swollen shut and his jaw was starting to swell too. He was half-sitting up, with blood pouring down his face, looking at Daryl.

Daryl snarled “Get outta here! Now!”, making his voice harsher than he meant to.

He was angry at Merle for hurting his friend, angry at himself for thinking he deserved a friend, and angry at Caleb for not running when he had the chance.

Caleb pushed to his feet while Daryl wrestled with Merle. Merle may have brute strength on his side, but when he was high he didn’t have much coordination.

When Daryl saw Caleb still wasn’t running, he shouted, “Get the hell outta here faggot!”

It was the only thing Daryl could think of that might make Caleb leave.

And it worked. When he glanced again, Caleb was gone.

It took a while before Merle lost interest. Daryl was almost grateful that Merle was high because he couldn’t focus on one thing for too long. Soon he forgot what he had been angry about and shouted for Daryl to get him some liquor.

Later that night, Daryl snuck out of the house and walked the three miles to Caleb’s house in the dark. He hoped Caleb wasn’t hurt too badly. He was bleeding a bit when Daryl last saw him, but he could still walk so it couldn’t be that bad. He would explain about his brother. He could even help Caleb with the bruises if he wanted.

The house was dark when Daryl finally arrived, but it was late so that wasn’t too unusual. He slipped around the house and knocked at Caleb’s window.

There was no answer. After ten minutes Daryl decided to try the doorbell. Still nothing.

Worry twisted the pit of his stomach. What if Merle had really hurt Caleb. All he had done was kiss Daryl. He wasn’t sure if that was a normal thing friends did, but it had felt nice. Unlike most of the things that Daryl had felt. 

Eventually he had to give up and go home.

That day at the lake ended up being the last Daryl ever saw of Caleb Peterson. He found out later that Caleb had needed surgery to repair the damage to his eye and jaw, and his parents had moved them back to Nebraska to be closer to their family.

No cops ever came to the door to arrest Merle for beating the shit outta Caleb. So Caleb must not have told them who did it to him. Merle ended up back in jail anyway for a possession charge, so it didn’t matter.

Daryl had never expected to see Caleb again, until he showed up and pointed a shotgun in Daryl's face.


	27. Silence and Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm terrible about updating :( but I've had papers and other more fun things to deal with in the past months. Just know that I won't give up on this story. 
> 
> *kisses*

The silence was loud as Caleb turned and closed the door. Daryl reached down at picked up his bow, still watching the other in disbelief.

Caleb glanced at the weapon and chuckled.

“I remember you used to have a bow when we were kids. I suppose it’s a smart thing to have a silent weapon against those things.”

He gestured out the window, mouth curved in a smile but eyes tight.

 Daryl just couldn’t find his voice. This wasn’t a possibility he was ever prepared for.

They stood in awkward silence for almost a minute, before Caleb broke the silence again.

“I got some canned soup that’s not awful tasting. You hungry?”

“Yeah alright.”

They sat against the wall and Caleb passed Daryl a can.

“Gotta be cold unfortunately. Can’t risk a fire. Would attract too much attention.”

They ate in silence. Caleb couldn’t seem to stand silence for very long, so he started again.

“Damn it’s good to see you man. Knew this shit-storm couldn’t be all bad. You look good Daryl.”

Daryl just looked at his old friend.

“Caleb…What Merle did to you, I didn’t…I never wanted him to”

Caleb cut him off with a smile.

“That? Forget it Daryl. I know you or”, he laughed “I knew you. It’s been a long time and I knew you tried to stop him. I just wish I got a chance to tell you when we were kids.”

Daryl nodded, relieved.

“You got people?”

Caleb shook his head.

“Used to. There were 15 of us at one point. We did okay for a while, but we kept losing people. Then fights started breaking out over supplies. I saw a guy killed over beef jerky.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I took off before they tried kill me too. What about you?”

“Mmmm I got some people. Merle’s with them now.”

Caleb nodded, a faint smile creasing his lips.

“Figured as much. He seems the type to survive no matter what.”

Daryl studied Caleb intently. He wanted to take Caleb back with him to the prison, but he was unsure. He knew Caleb almost better than he knew himself when they were 15, but they weren’t 15 anymore.

“Where were you when all this shit started?”

Daryl nodded towards the closed door.

Caleb scratched his thick tangled beard.

“I was living in Charleston, South Carolina when the shit hit the fan. I was the luckiest son-of-a-bitch in the world. I had planned a hiking trip two days before everyone started dying so I was already outta the city and I had some supplies to boot.”

His face fell.

“I was living with a couple of guys I met in the National Guard, and I couldn’t go back to get them. The cities were all crawling with those things. Maybe they made it out, maybe they’re one of the dead. I don’t know.”

He took a drink of water and passed the bottle to Daryl.

“It wasn’t long after that that I met up with some people. They were happy enough to have me ‘cause I was in the Guard and I knew miles more than they did bout surviving. When that fell to shit, I took off on my own and haven’t had much contact with people since then. I have no idea how long I’ve been out here. It’s gotta be six months at least.”

Daryl nodded, thinking. They could always use someone with military experience. And he seemed to know how to take care of himself. Daryl knew that he needed to trust his judgment.

“Caleb, how many walkers you killed?”

Caleb blinked at the sudden change of topic.

“How many what?”

“The living dead. How many of em you killed?”

Caleb laughed.

“Didn’t know we was keeping score. All the ones I came across I suppose”

“How many people you kill?”

Caleb’s face turned hard like a stone mask.

“Eight.”

“Why?”

He thought about it a few moments.

“Because there was no other choice. Most because they were dying and they asked me to. Two because they were bad people and one because he tried to split my skull with a rock.”

Daryl nodded. The other man raised an eyebrow.

“You got any more questions D? Did I pass your test or what?”

Daryl almost smiled.

“I got people. A lot of people. A little less than 30 now. And we got a good setup in a prison not too far from here. If you wanna come with, I can take you back with me.”

Caleb gaped at him a moment, trying to process what Daryl was offering. Daryl had encountered that reaction from a few of the people he had brought back to the prison.

Excitement tempered with wariness. They all wanted what the prison offered, but they had seen enough of this new world to know that things like that didn’t often come without strings attached.

Eventually Caleb found his voice.

“Alright then. I’ll go with you to this prison.”

Daryl nodded.

“It’s about a 2 day walk from here and we’re gonna do some hunting on the way back. Got a lot of hungry mouths to feed.”

“Okay. I’ll take first watch then.”

Daryl nodded and laid down, back against the wall and weapons held loosely in his hands. He pretended to doze off quickly, but he didn’t let himself sleep.

He didn’t know Caleb, not really, and he didn’t want to be killed in his sleep because he was careless.

Caleb sat by the wall with his eyes trained out the window, idly sharpening a knife. Daryl watched Caleb out of half-closed eyes, wondering how Caleb might be received back home.


	28. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals week is almost over and I should have some free time to write a bit more frequently.
> 
> Thank you to all the people who wrote comments. It fuels my creative fires to hear feedback.
> 
> Until next time
> 
> **Kisses**

Rick was helping Hershel to build a rough book case in the commons when he heard the shout.

“He’s back! Daryl’s back!”

Rick was on his feet and moving before he could think about it.

It had been almost 3 days since Daryl had last checked in and Rick hadn’t found much rest since then. Everyone knew the cause of his distress and they sympathized, but they tried to stay out of his way all the same. Only Carl and Judith had been truly able to keep him calm.

He could hear the distant sounds of a commotion near the side gate. Shouting, clanging weapons, all trying to clear a path for Daryl to reach the gate. By the time Rick arrived, it had been slammed closed with Daryl safely on the inside.

Daryl. His Daryl. There he was alive and whole. Looking a little travel-stained but uninjured.

Something unclenched inside Rick and he let out a deep breath.

But Daryl wasn’t the only person now on the inside of the gates trying to catch his breath.

A sudden tension rippled through the crowd as they realized that Daryl wasn’t alone. They held their weapons more security and their gazes hardened.

Rick pushed his way to the front and took in the scene. Daryl had dropped his game bag onto the ground and his hands raised in a palm out ‘hold on’ gesture.

“Just wait a second.”

Rick’s eyes slid behind Daryl to the closed gate.

The stranger was tall and sturdy with dirty blonde hair and an overall haggard look. He had one of Daryl’s game bags over his shoulder in addition to a backpack. He had a shotgun hanging from a strap on his shoulder and a hand gun that Rick could see tucked into his waistband. A machete was in his hand. His dark eyes flicked around the assembly, taking in the blades and guns on all sides.

Rick knew at once that this was a man that had fought and killed to survive before. He could see it in his stance and in the steadiness of his weapons hand.

 Rick’s hand was on the handle of his gun before he consciously thought of it, but he didn’t draw. Daryl would never bring someone to the prison without some level of trust.

“Daryl.”

Daryl looked as relived at Rick felt. He lowered his hand and swallowed.

“Rick.”

He wanted to pull his lover into his arms and hold him tight. But not here, not now.

His eyes flicked back to the stranger, assessing. He spoke to Daryl but didn’t look away from the stranger.

“Daryl step away. You”, his voice turning steely, “Drop your weapons now.”

Daryl didn’t hesitate to obey Rick and with a few long strides he was by Rick’s side once more.

The stranger looked like he was aching to follow but the guns kept him still. The armed people were silent, all watching, all waiting for something to happen.

The man made no move to drop his weapons. His gaze keep shifting from Rick to Daryl and back again.

Rick narrowed his eyes.

“Drop your weapons now!”

“Caleb, do as he says. It’s alright.”

Daryl’s voice was softer than Rick’s, almost soothing. Slowly Caleb obeyed, letting his machete clatter to the ground, unslinging his shotgun and tossing it down along with the handgun.

“Michonne. Tyreese.”

The two stepped forward at Rick’s command and Michonne patted the man down while Tyreese stood at the ready. Caleb didn’t react when she took the backpack and the game bag away from him. He only watched Daryl and Rick.

Nobody relaxed until Michonne had pulled his arms behind his back and slapped a pair of handcuffs around Caleb’s wrists. He started to protest but Daryl cut him off before anything happened.

“Caleb trust me. You’ll be fine.”

Caleb held Daryl’s eyes for a moment then let them fall. Michonne glanced at Rick, a question in her dark eyes.

“Take him to the isolation cells and keep an armed guard on him at all times. No one is to see him without my permission.”

Michonne nodded and they lead him away. The crowd that had gathered relaxed a little and started murmuring about then stranger like they always did when something new happened in the prison.

“Everyone get back to your chores. We have a lot of work to do before sundown. Carl, take the pack and the weapons to the commons and sort them. Beth, Maggie, take the meat and store it properly.”

The people went grudgingly back to their chores. Rick understood why. Life at the prison was much safer than being out in the wilderness but it was extremely boring and tedious. Something new, even if it was a danger, was always met with interest.

Only then did Rick reach out to Daryl like he had been aching to do. They embraced, not saying anything for a few moments.

When they finally let go, Rick passed his hand over Daryl’s cheek.

“Daryl.” The word sounded like a sigh, like a prayer.

“Rick.”

The hunter looked as relieved as Rick felt. Rick had to gather his thoughts for a moment.

“Who is he?”

“His name’s Caleb Peterson and I knew him in the old world when I was a teenager. We were friends. He’s got some military training and he’s been surviving alone for six months or more.”

Rick nodded. They always needed people who knew how to survive.

“We need to get the council together to decide what to do. How did you find him?”

Daryl cracked a small smile.

“In a cabin. I was raiding for supplies and I found his stash. He surprised me and held me at gunpoint until he recognized me.”

Rick tensed in anger, half ready to storm to the isolation cells and beat Caleb senseless, but Daryl grabbed his arm.

“He had every right to make sure I wasn’t there to kill him. Isn’t that what we always do?”

He gestured in the direction of the prison, to the cell that Caleb was locked in until the council made a decision.

“I knew him in the old world and I’ve talked to him. He won’t turn on us. He can help us survive.”

Rick knew Daryl was making sense but he didn’t like it. His first instinct was to shoot first and ask questions later whenever anyone threatened his family.


	29. Expectations and Answers

Rick walked alone into the cell block where they kept the isolation cells.

Daryl had wanted to come with him to question Caleb, but Rick wanted to talk to him alone. Daryl had hesitated, wanting to argue the point, but Rick kissed him and said,

“Go get cleaned up. And get the council together. We need to make a decision about this quickly. I’ll be along soon.”

Daryl had given in and headed off to the showers without another word.

Rick’s footsteps echoed loudly in the silent halls. The isolation cells were always deserted. No one came down here unless the cells were being used.

They hadn’t needed to use them too often, but there had been two different occasions when someone had attacked another resident and they locked the person up in an isolation cell until a decision was made.

The first time, a man had raped a woman that had spurred his advances. The council had debated for a long time what to do with him. When Rick interrogated the man, he admitted that it wasn’t the first time he had “shown some bitch her place”.

It was decided that he wasn’t remotely remorseful and therefore not deserving of mercy. They couldn’t afford to keep him prisoner, resources were scarce enough as it was, and they couldn’t let him go because he knew exactly where they were.

Besides the last time Rick had let someone go, he had lost Lori as a result.

Rick executed him personally. He wouldn’t let anyone else take on that burden.

The second time, a teenager they had picked up off the road had pushed a man named Garrett into the fence to be bitten by the walkers. Glenn had seen him do it on purpose and the council had believed his and Garrett’s account over the teenager’s insistence that it was an accident.

The boy had been locked in an isolation cell and Garrett was tended in the hospital wing by his friends until he succumbed to the wound. They hadn’t let him turn.

The boy, however, did.

Merle had gone to bring him before the council and found him staggering and snarling around the cell. He had managed to slit his wrists on the metal frame of the cot rather than face the justice of the council.

They never did find out why he tried to kill Garrett.

And now the cell was occupied yet again.

Michonne, seated in a chair facing the cell, did not do more than glance over at Rick when he opened the door to A Block, nor did she flinch when the heavy door banged shut with a metallic clang. Everyone was too used to that kind of noise to be bothered with it anymore.

She stood as he approached. He nodded to her and noted with approval the handgun that she held in her hand. She took her job seriously.

“I need to talk to him. Go grab Bryan off fence duty and send him here to guard. We’re holding a council meeting to deal with this and you need to be there.”

She nodded, her eyes shifting to the closed cell door.

“I should stay at the door while you talk to him. Just to be safe.”

Rick shook his head.

“I’ll be fine. He’s still cuffed right?”

“Yes, and we cuffed his feet to the D ring in the floor. Just to be sure.”

He gave a wry smile. “I think I can handle it. Go get Bryan.”

She studied him for a moment, then sheathed the gun in the holster at her hip and headed for the door.

Rick moved toward the door and unlocked it.

Caleb was sitting on the cot in the tiny room, eyes fixed on the opposite wall. When Rick walked through the door, he focused all his attention on him. His chains clinked as he moved. Rick noticed that his hands had been re-cuffed in front of his body so he could sit or lay down without pain. Rick closed the door behind him with a loud bang.

The man flinched a little at the noise, but didn’t look away from Rick’s eyes.

The silence stretched for long moments as each sized the other up.

It was Caleb who broke the silence.

“Where’s Daryl?”

His voice was a little shaky but strong. Rick got the impression that Caleb feared that Daryl was in some kind of danger from the prison group.

“Daryl is none of your concern. I’d be more worried about yourself right now.”

Caleb balled his hands into fists and his voice shook worse than before.

“Please. Just tell me.”

Rick hesitated. It wouldn’t hurt to give him that bit of knowledge.

“Daryl’s fine. He’s getting cleaned up at the moment. And probably fussed over as well. He’s been gone a long time and we take care of our own.”

Caleb let out a breath, obviously relieved. That was interesting. Rick made a mental note to remember that.

Rick leaned against the closed door, one hand resting on the handle of his gun and the other loose and relaxed at his side.

Caleb’s eyes were fixed on the holstered weapon, tension returning at once. Rick only watched him, waiting. He wanted to know how Caleb reacted under pressure. He flexed his hand to grip the gun tighter. Caleb tensed, as if he wasn’t chained to the floor and was ready to make a run for it.

“Are you here to kill me?”

His voice sounded forced, like he was trying to seem like he didn’t care either way.

But Rick knew Caleb was afraid.

He could read it in the other man’s eyes. But he was brave too.

He wouldn’t beg for his life or plead for mercy. He had come to the prison because he trusted Daryl, and Daryl had told him he would be safe.

Well, if this man turned out to be a danger to the people here, he would pay with his life. But he wouldn’t make a liar out of Daryl. He would trust Daryl’s instincts, as he had done so often before.

“No”, he answered at last, “I’m not here to kill you.”

He was watching for it, so he saw the flicker of relief flash across the man’s face.

“I’m going to ask you some questions and you’re going to answer me. Understand?”

Caleb nodded swallowing.

“Where did you live before here?”

“A lot of places. Always kept on the move. It was safer that way. I’ve squatted in abandoned houses, office buildings, hell I’ve slept in trees if I had to. If you mean before the outbreak, I lived in South Carolina. But I haven’t been back there in over a year.”

Rick let him talk. Caleb was obviously still nervous, and that might make him reveal something about himself that he did not mean to.

“Did you have a group?” Rick cut in.

“Yes a while ago. Charles was our leader. He kept us together until the food ran out. Then they killed him.”

Rick raised an eyebrow.

“They? Not you?”

“No I didn’t kill him. He was a good man. Kind and smart, but too soft for a world like this.”

“Who have you killed?”

“No one I didn’t have to.”

Caleb’s eyes were suddenly distant like he was reliving something painful. Rick noted it. Caleb was either being sincere or he was a phenomenal actor.

“Why should I let you stay here?”

Caleb refocused on Rick, blinking.

“What?”

Rick tilted his head slightly to the side.

“Why should I trust you?”

Caleb was silent for a moment. When he spoke he sounded almost resigned.

“There’s nothing I could tell you that would make you trust me. That’s something I’ll have to earn.”

It wasn’t the answer he had expected. Rick had thought Caleb would name all his skills and his virtues and promise to serve the community. He was something, this stranger.

He stood up away from the door and pushed it open.

“Wait, what will happen now?”

Rick turned back.

“The council will decide your fate. You’ll stay here until then. I’ll have some food and water sent here for you.”

“Thank you.”

Caleb lowered his eyes. Rick paused, his hand on the door.

“Caleb.”

He looked up, wary at the tone of Rick’s voice.

“Daryl has good judgement, and that’s why we let you in. But let me warn you. If you hurt anyone here, you’ll wish you had died alone in the wilderness. Understand?”

Caleb nodded his body tense as a bowstring. The door slammed behind him and Rick locked it.

Bryan entered at that moment, a tall man in his late forties with iron gray hair. Rick nodded to him as he passed.

"Keep an eye on him. And someone will be along in a little while with some food for him."

"Gotcha boss."

Bryan took the seat across from the cell and Rick exited the cell block.

He strode towards the council room on the other side of the prison.

They had work to do.


	30. For now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys see the new episode of the walking dead last night!! Holy Shit it was awesome!!
> 
> Anyway, here's a new chapter. I want to thank the people that still read and still comment after 30 Chapters. You'll are awesome. See ya next time.

Daryl tapped his knife against his boot in agitation. He knew it hadn’t been longer than an hour since Rick had disappeared into the isolation cells. But it felt like it had been days.

Most of the council was already gathered together discussing recent events with frowns creasing their foreheads. He understood their worry. Hell, he had felt it that first night when he had stayed up until dawn to make sure Caleb wasn’t going to try and kill him to get his supplies.

But he had grown to like and trust Caleb. They had hunted together and fought a small herd of walkers that came across their path unexpectedly.

When they weren’t on the trail of some game, Caleb talked about some of the people he had come across on his travels. A woman named Maria with her teenage sons who were headed to the coast. A man named Ryan who’s only goal in life was to exterminate the walker plague and die with a bottle of whisky in his hand.

Daryl had liked listening to him. The hunter was quiet by nature and enjoyed when he wasn’t required to talk. Caleb hadn’t minded Daryl’s long silences and was content to carry on the conversation almost by himself.

His thoughts were interrupted when Rick strode through the door. His gaze swept the room, holding Daryl’s for a moment before shutting the door with a snap.

“Where’s Glenn?” He addressed the room at large.

Hershel answered him.

“He’s with Maggie right now. She’s feeling under the weather and he wanted to stay with her.”

Rick nodded, and Daryl could almost see the man make a mental note to go see Maggie and make sure she was ok.

Rick let out a breath and sat down.

“Alright then.  Let’s get down to it. I’ve asked you here to decide what we do with the man Daryl brought into the prison. Daryl?”

 Daryl cleared his throat.

“I met Caleb in a cabin two days walk from here. He was alone and held me at gunpoint until he recognized me. We knew each other when we were teenagers in the old world. He’s been alone for about six months. He can hunt, scavenge and fight with the best of ‘em. He’s good people and I think he’ll help us.”

Hershel leaned forward.

“If he didn’t know you, do you think he would have tried to kill you?”

Daryl saw Rick’s hand tighten for a second then forcibly relax.

“If he thought I was gonna kill him, yeah.”

Carol spoke up, arms folded.

“Why should we risk our people by taking in a man so ready to kill?”

Sasha nodded in agreement.

“She’s right. Our lives are dangerous enough as it is.”

“We’ve taken in people with less information” protested Daryl.

Carol spoke firmly over him.

“And we’ve had three dead for our troubles.”

Hershel shook his head. “We cannot allow fear to rule us and turn away people that only seek shelter.”

“There’s a difference between fear and caution” Michonne contradicted quietly.

“I’ve spent three days with him and he was never hostile towards me. He watched my back and besides, he’s not numb to killing. He took me completely by surprise.  If he was a cold-blooded killer, he would have just blown my head off.”

Carol shook her head. “He knew you were going to take him to a place with high walls and more weapons than he could find on his own. Of course he didn’t turn on you then.”

Daryl tried to dial down the harshness of the glare he leveled at her. He knew she was just looking out for him and for the rest of their people. But his voice was still hard as iron.

“I’m not an idiot. I didn’t tell him about the prison until he had answered the questions and I had a better sense of him. I would never lead someone here that I wasn’t sure about.”

Michonne nodded slowly.

“I suppose that makes sense. Rick, you spoke to him. What do you think?”

Rick had been silent in the debate, preferring to listen to others before he made his views known. Now he spoke calmly, his hand folded on the table.

“I think we shouldn’t make a hasty decision about him. He didn’t try to beg for his life or convince me that he’s a saint. He’s killed before, but he took no pleasure in it that I could see.”

He let out a sigh and rubbed his temples before continuing.

“We need to sleep on this. Let the excitement calm down a little before we make a decision. He’s not going anywhere, and he’s not in any danger. Unless there’s any objections or other matters that need to be taken care of, it’s been a long day.”

Michonne spoke up.

“Whatever we decide, we can’t leave him chained up like that. It’s inhumane and he’s done nothing to deserve that treatment.”

Rick nodded. “I’ll see to it.”

No one had anything else to add and they filed out, each to their tasks. Daryl waited by the door.

Rick was last to depart and the hunter fell into step.

The older man gave a wry smile. “I think that went well.”

Daryl snorted. “It was better than mob justice I guess.”

Rick nodded. “I think they’ll come around. Just need to give them some time.”

The hunter nodded.

“So you agree with me? We should let him stay?”

“I don’t think he’s hostile towards us.” Rick hedged.

For now, that was enough for Daryl.

* * *

 

Bryan was sitting in the same chair as Rick had left him in. He nodded at them.

“Did someone bring by some food?” Rick asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, Mia left some stew and a loaf of bread not five minutes ago.”

“Good. Give me the keys to his cuffs.”

Bryan frowned but handed them over.

“We lettin’ him out?”

Rick shook his head. “Not yet. We’re gonna take the cuffs off. Might do serious damage if we leave em on for too long.”

He tossed the keys to Daryl, who turned to the door unlocking it quickly.

Caleb was sitting where Rick had left him, an empty bowl, an empty plastic water bottle and a handkerchief that must have held the bread on the bench beside him.

He glanced up and his tired expression suddenly lit up.

“Daryl!”

His chains clinked loudly as he moved. Daryl gave a small smile.

“Hey, you doing okay?”

The sandy-haired man nodded, relief obvious in his face.

“Yeah I’m fine. I just thought that you…that they might have…I’m glad to see you.”

Rick hadn’t entered behind Daryl, the cell just wasn’t big enough.

 “Here, hold still.”

Daryl unlocked the cuffs around Caleb’s wrists and ankles. There were harsh red marks circling his wrists. He winced a little.

“So am I free to go?”

Daryl shook his head.

“Not just yet. The council is gonna sleep on it tonight. But we’ll know by tomorrow.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay”

Rick watched them in silence. He had been right that Caleb had been worried and scared for Daryl, thinking he might be killed by the vicious laws that governed the new world for bringing a stranger into a safe house.

Daryl was offering Caleb a water bottle, speaking in a soft murmur.

“We have to convince some more people, so you just sit tight, okay?”

Caleb gulped down some water before nodding.

“Don’t worry D, I’ll be a good boy.”

His face looked sunken and haggard, but his smile made him look more like a person.

Daryl let out a grunt.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

They closed the door with a clang and locked it again. Rick turned to Bryan.

“Stay on til sundown. I’ll send someone else to cover you then.”

Bryan nodded.

“You got it.”

* * *

 

Later in their cell, Rick and Daryl laid down and just rested in each other’s arms. It had been days since they had held each other like this. It was nice to just be still for a few moments.

Judith had been very pleased with Daryl’s return and had claimed his attention until she eventually tuckered out. Only then could Rick and Daryl be truly alone. It was Rick that broke the quiet stillness of their cell.

“He could’ve killed you.”

Daryl didn’t ask what Rick was talking about.

“Yeah he could’ve. But he didn’t. And I’m still here.”

The tension was starting to build, but only just.

Rick’s voice was quiet but Daryl could hear the anger behind it. “I wanted to kill him for pointing a gun at you.”

Daryl turned so he was facing Rick.

“But you didn’t.”

“I wanted to. I want to.”

“He’s not a bad person. He did that to defend himself, like we do.”

Rick pulled Daryl in closer.

“I know. But if he causes trouble for us…”

Daryl nodded understanding. He knew from experience that very little would stop Rick once he decided something was a threat to the people he protected.


	31. The  Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I suck at updating in a timely matter. But I'm planning the rest of the story and it will be finished!

The council gathered just after breakfast.

Glenn was there this time, sitting in his usual chair. He wore a slight frown, like he was only here because it needed to be done. Hershel was talking to him in a soothing voice went Rick and Daryl came in. The others trickled in and before long they could begin.

“Alright, it’s time we settled this. Everyone say your piece and then we vote. Carol, would you start us off?”

Carol sat still in her chair for a moment, choosing her words carefully.

“We live in a dangerous world, and it’s foolish to take unnecessary risks. He might be a good person, but we have no way of knowing that. I say we can’t let him stay.”

Hershel shook his head, eyes heavy with years.

“It’s worth the risk. A life is always worth the risk. If one of ours was separated from the group, we would hope they would come across another people like us with mercy in their hearts.”

“He could be beneficial to our people. We need strong people like him” Glenn agreed. “I’ve trusted my life to Daryl’s judgement before and I trust him on this now.”

Michonne shifted her dark eyes to Carol across the table. “Carol, you are right that we live in a dangerous world, but we can’t let fear make us monsters. We should let him stay, but not blindly.”

“I say we let him prove himself. We are strong enough to take care of ourselves if something goes wrong.” Sasha added.

“Alright, that’s a majority agreement. Caleb stays in the prison. What measures should we take?” Rick asked the council.

Daryl noticed Carol clench her jaw for a moment at the pronouncement, but after a moment of thought, she replied in a firm voice, “Well if he must stay, we shouldn’t let him go wandering around anywhere he wants.”

“It also would be good to lock his cell at night.” Hershel added in his slow deep voice, “Just to be safe.”

“He shouldn’t be given a gun yet either.” Michonne put in.

 “Alright. So we’ll have to put a guard on him during the day, and make sure he doesn’t get out at night or get a weapon.”

Daryl called out, “I can guard him. I brought him here, he’s my responsibility.”

He could tell Rick didn’t like that, but the older man didn’t do more than frown.

“That’s settled then”, declared Hershel, “Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?”

There wasn’t. The members of the council left the room. Carol exchanged a glance with Daryl, her eyes flicking meaningfully to Rick, eyebrows raised in a question. Daryl shrugged his shoulders a little and she nodded, exiting the room.

 Daryl lingered until he and Rick were the last to leave as usual. Rick’s hand rested on Daryl’s shoulder and he spoke earnestly.

“Daryl, you don’t have to guard him. We can get one of the Woodberry people to watch him.”

Daryl bristled in anger.

“What? You think I can’t handle it?”

He had been on edge since he’d come home, worrying about what might happen to Caleb and this was the last straw.

Rick shook his head. “I know you can. It’s just if you’re the one guarding him, you might have to kill him, and I don’t want to put that on you.”

Daryl brushed off the hand and the concern.

“If it comes to that, I’ll do what needs to be done.”

Rick looked like he was gonna try and pull Daryl back, but he thought better of it. Instead he changed the subject a little.

“Come on. We have to go let him out of isolation and find him living space.”

Daryl knew Rick wasn’t done with it, but he didn't push it.


	32. Not Like Her

It took more than a few days for things to settle back into their normal rhythms in the prison. Caleb’s integration into the community had been met with suspicion and mistrust.

No one who had survived this long wholeheartedly trusted strangers.

They had settled Caleb into a cell in D block, where those people without partners or children had made their home. The cell was more comfortable than the isolation cell and miles better than sleeping on the ground.

That first night Rick had managed to explain the rules and punishments to Caleb before the man passed out on the cot, exhausted by the strain of the last few day’s events and the weariness of being on the run for so long. They had locked the cell door behind them, and talked to the residents of the wing, warning them not to give him any weapon or try and open the door.

Caleb had slept for almost 12 hours before Daryl could wake him to give him the tour.

The hunter showed him the fences—where teams were working to clear the wall, the tower—where Bryan was on guard with his rifle, the garden, the water barrels, the outdoor kitchen, and the training yard. All during the tour people watched them with a mixture of wariness and interest. New things hardly happened around the prison and a new person had the potential to make things lively for a little while at least.

They worked in the garden with some of the Woodberry refugees. Rick had suggested it when he and Daryl were discussing what to do with him. It was necessary work that didn’t require a gun but it wasn’t too strenuous either. Daryl was still a little pissed at Rick, but he took the suggestion with a nod of assent. He knew Rick was just trying to look out for him.

Eventually after a few days of apprehensive glares, the residents of the prison relaxed into grudging acceptance.

It helped quite a bit that Caleb had Daryl’s support. The younger Dixon was well loved by the people both for the food he brought in and his quiet strength of leadership. So as Daryl was seen around the prison showing Caleb where things were and how things worked, their icy suspicion began to melt.

Caleb was respectful and friendly to everyone he met despite the mistrustful looks shot his way. He made friends with some of the men that shared D block with him.

In a few weeks, he had lost the half-starved feral look he had worn when he first came to the prison. That helped win him some more friends. It was easier to like and talk to someone who didn’t look like a walker.

Even Merle became friendly with him. Daryl had explained who Caleb was and how he had known him but Merle didn’t seem to remember.

 _It wasn’t too surprising_ Daryl had mused after talking to his older brother. In those days, Merle would binge on whatever substance he could get his hands on and all those drugs didn’t improve the man’s memory.

In the end, it was almost two months before Rick decided that they didn’t need to lock him in his cell anymore, and not long after that before Caleb joined the guard rotation.

He also started going on hunts with Daryl. It had taken another argument before Rick agreed to it.

“I need help getting enough meat for us. Caleb already has plenty of experience, so I don’t need to teach him everything. Besides, I need someone to watch my back out there.”

When Rick had protested that going alone in the woods with Caleb was a stupid risk, Daryl shot back, “What?! Do you think I can’t handle him?! Don’t you trust my judgement!?”

Rick had relented and Caleb started going on hunts with Daryl more often than not. He did trust Daryl and knew that he could handle more than most people. But he didn’t like how close Caleb was to Daryl.

It was a while later, as he was watching Daryl and Caleb depart out of the bolt-hole, that he realized what really was bothering him. Caleb had rested his hand on Daryl’s shoulder and had made some joke Rick couldn’t hear. Daryl had only smiled his small smile as they walked off together.

Rick was jealous.

He had gotten so used to Daryl coming to him for support and companionship that he could hardly stand watching Daryl, his Daryl, walk away with another man. And he was a stranger to them! An outsider! Rick wouldn’t let…!

He stopped. He needed to calm down before he lost himself. Daryl wasn’t a thing for him to possess. Not a helpless child for Rick to save and shelter.

That day Rick vented his frustration by putting down walkers at the fences. By the time he was done, his arms ached and the corpses slumped against every foot of the wall. They would burn the dead closer to sundown, when the smoke from the bonfire would be less noticeable.

No one spoke to Rick when he came back in to wash. The people just moved out of his way and let him be. As he scrubbed himself in the lukewarm water, he tried to sort through his thoughts.

Daryl had never shown any romantic interest in anyone in the prison, apart from Rick himself. He had never wavered in his loyalty to his partner and their people. Rick had no reason to be suspicious of Daryl. Then again, he had had no reason to be suspicious of Lori either…

That was different though. Lori had thought he was dead, she thought she had lost everything. He could understand, in a detached way, why she sought comfort in a man that had saved both her and her only son from the end of the world. When all you love is torn to pieces, it’s natural to try and find solace in something.

But Daryl wasn’t Lori. Daryl was happy here. Once, on one of those nights where it had just been the two of them, Daryl had confessed that he was happier here in this prison turned sanctuary, with the hungry dead all around then he had ever been in the old world. Daryl thrived best when there was an enemy to fight. He wouldn’t…Daryl wasn’t Lori.


	33. Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been away for soo long. I haven't been able to find much muse to continue the story but I'm pushing through it :) I promise I will finish the story.
> 
> ~Kisses

Most people alive today are not naive. Even the children in the prison know better than to think a stranger can be trusted completely. Most of them have seen what people can do to each other.

Daryl was never naive. He grew up knowing that he couldn’t trust his parents to protect him, and there was little he had experienced as an adult that could convince him that the world was anything but cruel. The new world hadn’t done much to change that.

Nothing should surprise him anymore.

The walker snarled at him, teeth clacking together only a few feet away. He was armed but he didn’t move just yet. It’s not like the walker was really a threat to him, not really.

Caleb had taken one look at the walker and turned his back, a hand pressed to his mouth, but Daryl wouldn’t turn away.

She had to have been only 10 when she died. Blonde curls soiled by dirt, dried blood, and decay fell around her face. Her little dress was hanging off in tatters. The chain looped around her neck looked a little rusted but still held firm as she pulled against it. If her hands weren’t tied behind her back, he knew they would be reaching for him too.

He felt his guts churning, but still couldn’t look away.

The dead didn’t bother him much anymore. He didn’t think of the people they had once been. They were only enemies that wanted to tear him and every other living thing apart.

Now though, he wondered who this little girl had been and what had become of those that had left her like this.

Where had her protectors been to allow her to suffer like this?

“Daryl?”

Caleb rested his hand on the hunter’s shoulder, his fingers digging into the leather vest.

“C-C’mon, there’s nothing we can d-do now for… Let’s go.”

His voice was shaking and he kept his eyes down, as if he couldn’t bare to meet the dead girl’s gaze as she snapped and snarled, eyes opaque with living death.

Daryl shook his head, drawing his knife.

“Not leaving her like that.” He rasped.

With a jerk, he pulled his arm free and moved toward her. His blade struck true and the dead girl crumpled. Daryl caught her and held her as gently as he had held Judith the day she was born.

The frayed rope gave easily under Daryl’s knife and he unclasped the chain, lying her down. He sat back on his heels. He wanted to give her a proper burial or build her a pyre, but they didn’t have any shovels and a fire might attract unwanted attention.

“Caleb? You got a spare shirt or something to cover her?”

Daryl would have given his own clothes to the task but he never carried spares with him, preferring to save the room for more essential items.

“Uh.. Yeah just lemme…”

Caleb knelt and rummaged in his pack. He pulled out a neatly folded white shirt and offered it to Daryl.

He took it and shook it out, covering her face and torso with it. It wasn’t enough, but it was all they could do for her.

After one last look, Daryl stood and set off again. He didn’t need his acute senses to know Caleb was close behind him. He didn’t blame him for being eager to get away from the scene behind them.

Daryl had done many things in his life that he was not proud of, but he had never caused pain just because he could. He never tortured something that was helpless to defend itself.

He fought and killed when necessary, not for fun.

* * *

 

For the next few hours, they didn’t talk much. Daryl tried to think of nothing but the game trail, but it was hard. The dead girl’s face kept drifting across his mind, tainting his focus. Caleb looked like he was deep in thought as well, because he was paying less and less attention to his surroundings to the point where Daryl had to stop him from tripping over tree roots twice.

The sun was just starting to set when Caleb started to talk.

“Hey D?”

Daryl glanced back to show he was listening.

Ummm I was thinking. You know life is short…and we don’t get many opportunities to be happy nowadays… and I was just wondering if you’d like to… ”

He broke off with a yelp as a dead hand closed around his ankle. The walker was mostly decomposed, the foliage of the forest floor had grown over it, but it was still hungry for flesh.

Caleb fell forward, kicking his boots at the rotting corpse trying to stop it from reaching his flesh. Daryl’s arrow flew over Caleb, burying itself between the milky staring eyes.

“You alright?” asked Daryl as he pull the other man upright.

Caleb swallowed.

“Yeah I’m f-fine. You saved my life”

He gazed up at Daryl, like he was truly seeing him for the first time. Daryl shifted uncomfortably and pulled him back to his feet.

“Wasn’t nothing. C’mon, let’s go.”

He started to turn away but Caleb’s hand fastened on his arm and pulled him back.

Daryl opened his mouth to ask what Caleb was doing but he never got the words out, because Caleb was kissing him.

Daryl’s mind blanked and for a moment he didn’t move. Caleb’s strong hands reached up to touch the hunter’s face and Daryl’s brain lurched back into motion.

He jerked away from Caleb, shoving him hard in the chest. The blond man stumbled back, almost tripping over the body of the walker.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m sorry D. I probably should’ve talked to you first, but I suspected you liked guys when we were kids and I overheard some ladies talking about how it was a shame you bat for the other team.”

He moved closer to Daryl, who could only stare at him speechless.

“I know you’re probably nervous, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent thing.”

He stepped into Daryl’s space again. Daryl took a step back, his back hitting a tree.

“I know it’s lonely sometimes. Not too many guys like us. Let me take the edge off for you.”

He leaned forward to kiss Daryl again, his hand reaching to caress Daryl’s groin.

Daryl’s fist met Caleb’s jaw with a crack. His head snapped to the side and he stumbled to the ground. Daryl stood panting, hands still clenched in fists. Caleb sat up slowly, cradling his jaw.

“D?…I…”

Daryl shook his head, not looking at him.

“Don’t ever kiss me again.” He growled, hands shaking slightly. “I’m not lonely. I have a partner and we’ll be lucky if Rick doesn’t tear out your throat.”

Caleb’s eyes widened in shock.

“Rick? But he has two kids, I thought he was…”

“Stupid to assume things ‘bout people. It’s getting late. We should head back.”

Daryl turned away and started walking. Caleb struggled to his feet.

“Daryl? Wait! Please! I didn’t mean…”

But Daryl didn’t turn back. He just kept going, heading for his family and his partner.


End file.
